Have You Tried Failing Forward?

10 Ways To Change Your Mindset And Achieve Success

Our modern society has made us soft. So many clients that I work with experience anxiety because they lack the resilience skills to pick themselves up off the floor after splatting against the wall.

When was the last time you tried something new? I am being serious now. I am talking about sticking to something until you nail the outcome you want.

I will share an example of my tenacity. I hate tech. Hate is a big word to use, but when it comes to figuring out tech I would rather have a colonoscopy without the good drugs. When the tech doesn’t work, it can be so easy for me to feel overwhelmed to the point that there are tears.

Sometimes I have to remind myself how much my laptop costs before I throw it out the window whilst in the throes of frustration. What I have come to learn, is how to change my mindset so I don’t go out of control and activate my inner four-year-old tantrum self.

What I have learnt is that stumbling is a natural human art form. It’s normal to stumble, trip, and navigate your way around obstacles. As long as you can propel yourself forward, you’re still winning!

I do these things instead to ensure I continue moving forward, even if I am stumbling.

1. I take a couple of mindful breaths. 

Breathing slowly and purposefully allows you to become present. The present moment is a choice point. This is the headspace that allows you to choose your next action, rather than continue reacting defensively from a place of survival (and lack of clarity).

2. Adopt the mindset that every attempt is simply more experience

I remind myself I am learning something new. Every attempt I make with new action is building muscle memory and a foundation archive of experiences. There is no pass or fail, good or bad. 

The best part of learning is you are refining your brilliance, therefore your actions do not have to be perfect. When you gift yourself this awareness you are practicing kindness. Allowing yourself to learn means you move forward practising and refining your moves.

3. Connect with the feelings of trying

There’s great emotional power to be embraced when you work from your heart space instead of your head. Embracing your feelings allows you to step out of judgment about your performance, and simply step into your cheerleader outfit. This is one of the best forms of self-care — simply observing yourself do-ing rather than wish-ing!

4. Set a reasonable timeframe for your attempt. 

Where possible, do not continue with the frustration of not successfully attempting something new for hours. Perpetuating a perceived failure only makes you feel like shit and reinforces you are failing (in that moment).

This is demonstrated well when training a new puppy. A couple of minutes with a treat to repeat the first step of the sequence is all you need to create the dopamine effect associated with the attempt rather than the outcome.

5. Have a plan when success isn’t instant

For those occasions that I am unable to figure out the problem (and it’s usually tech) in twenty minutes I walk away. This singular action saves my nervous system 90 minutes to have to calm down from an episode of anxiety.

6. Do something different

I do something completely different for five minutes to reframe my visual reality. This soothes my nervous system. More importantly, doing something different gives you a fresh view and provides you with a different perspective. This is often where you open the door to possibilities. The fresh perspective is where you find new options and solutions.

7. Try bush flower essences

I take an electro essence by Australian Bush Flower Essences when doing anything electronic. A couple of drops of that elixir and the tech gremlins disappear. 

If you experience anxiety you may choose Rescue Remedy (Bach Flower Essence). Energy medicine is gentle and powerful at the same time. Open that mind of yours and see what might work for you.

8. Try again

I sit and make another attempt. If the tech still glitches I reboot my computer. If all else fails, I ask for help. There’s no point getting my knickers into a twist. I email or ring my tech person for support. I fall forward rather than stagnate in stress or overwhelm.

I did not realise there is a secret to be discovered when something continues to not work the way you want. The secret is that you are learning about the working parts of the problem. This enables you to describe the problem in detail. It also supports you to know what to ask help for from a big picture down to a microscopic view.

9. Know when to delegate

Some tasks initially seem impossible and completely out of your sphere of expertise. Here is an example. I recently received an email from my email platform providing me with the exciting news that Google was changing requirements for free email. To comply and have my emails not land in the spam folder I needed to take care of the SKM files.

Yeah, I had to look up what that acronym link meant as well, and still had no idea. I chose not to panic, I chose to be proactive and watch the instruction video. Still had no idea, and instead of panicking remembered that my website host has brilliant technicians who perform miracles like this task every single day. So I requested that they perform the task and explained I’m a bit of a technotard.

Bazinga five minutes later, I still have no idea what an SKM link is, but the email platform now links correctly. Problem solved.

10. Let go of expectations of how success will arrive

Allow yourself to experience the joy of simply being well enough to participate, without the expectation of completing what you are attempting. This is a mindful practice of simply being present at the moment and allowing yourself to observe what is happening.

When you are present, your need for control is reduced.

Conclusion

This is your permission slip to continue dreaming. Dream as big as you want. Just be sure to take small, achievable steps using these tips, to the summit of the outcomes you desire. Know that you may stumble, trip, have obstacles in the way and may need to fall to learn. Just be sure to fall forward!

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