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How To Create Healing Balance For The Modern Soul

How To Create Healing Balance For The Modern Soul

Within our human experience, being constantly exposed to information to be processed, and a never-ending list of things to do, it’s essential to create a flowing harmonious balance between your mind and your body. This balance not only enhances your overall well-being but can also support you to live your life in a more fulfilling and productive way.

There is a symbiotic relationship between the mind and body. There is a myriad of scientific evidence to demonstrate that neglecting your mind or your body, can adversely affect the other, causing potential physical and mental health issues. Individuals who nurture both can achieve a state of equilibrium that promotes resilience, clarity, and longevity.

One of the primary reasons to strive for mind-body harmony is the impact on mental health. Stress, anxiety, and depression are often exacerbated by physical neglect. Regular physical activity, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep are fundamental practices that can significantly improve mental health.

Exercise, for instance, releases endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters, which help reduce stress and anxiety. A balanced diet ensures that the brain receives the necessary nutrients to function optimally, while sufficient sleep aids in memory consolidation and emotional regulation. When the body is well-cared for, the mind can operate at its best, leading to improved cognitive functions and emotional stability.

Additionally, achieving harmony between the mind and body can enhance physical health. The mind plays a vital role in how we perceive and respond to physical ailments. Practices such as mindfulness, meditation, yoga or even Qigong, can reduce the perception of pain and improve the body’s ability to heal.

A calm and focused mind relaxes the nervous system, which leads to better decision-making regarding health habits, such as choosing nutritious foods, adhering to an exercise routine, and avoiding harmful behaviours. This holistic approach ensures that the body remains strong and resilient, capable of supporting the mind through life’s challenges.

Fostering harmony between the mind and body is essential for overall well-being. It creates a foundation for mental clarity, emotional balance, and physical health. By adopting practices that nurture both aspects, individuals can lead more harmonious and fulfilling lives, better equipped to handle the stresses and demands of daily living. In the end, a balanced mind and body can unlock the full potential of a person’s capabilities, leading to a healthier and happier existence.

Mind-body therapies offer a holistic approach to wellness. These therapies blend mental and physical practices to enhance overall health. These therapies focus on the interconnectedness of the mind and body, emphasizing that mental and emotional well-being directly impacts physical health.

I have studied several popular mind-body therapies, including kinesiology, clinical hypnosis, clinical resource therapy, as well as intuitive meditation. Within my clinical practice, I utilise a variety of tools to support clients to explore, balance and heal the mind and body within. I hold space for participants to choose to change and bloom from within.

Examples of Mind-Body Therapies

Kinesiology

Kinesiology is a stress diffusion modality that utilises muscle monitoring. This modality merges the principles of traditional Chinese Medicine with modern science to assess and improve physical, mental, and emotional health. The use of muscle monitoring enables the practitioner to identify sources of stress, or imbalances within the body and mind. 

Monitoring of muscles provides the practitioner access to the person’s subconscious via the biofeedback mechanisms of the muscle fibres and neurology and ultimately connection to the brain. The muscle response can access information for anything that the practitioner has studied, for example anatomical, physiological and psychological stressors within the person.

Practitioners identify where stress is stored and work with the client to consciously develop personalized treatment plans that may involve nutritional advice, stress management techniques, and targeted exercises. The benefits of kinesiology include enhanced physical performance, reduced stress, and improved emotional resilience.

The kinesiology practitioner therefore removes stress roadblocks and returns the client to their natural state of recuperation. Therefore kinesiology doesn’t heal or fix you, the modality tools are designed to enable the practitioner to assist you to remove the stress in a gentle and relaxing manner so that you heal yourself.

No two sessions are ever the same because we are always changing. We are in a constant state of evolution, adapting to the world around us. Kinesiology can therefore work on the client as a whole and address mind and body stresses to support the client to achieve balance within.

Karen is a Professional Member  + Buiness Mentor of the Australian Institute Kinesiology (AIK) and also a registered Business Mentor with Kinesiology Association New Zealand (ANZ).

Clinical Hypnosis

Hypnosis is a therapeutic technique that uses guided relaxation, intense concentration, and focused attention to achieve a heightened state of awareness, often referred to as a trance. In this trance state, individuals are more open to suggestions, which can be used to alter behaviours and perceptions.

Within a clinical setting, hypnosis can be utilised therapeutically to clear unwanted habits, negativity within the subconscious belief system, as well as negative emotions.

Whilst hypnosis works with the conscious and subconscious mind, it has been proven effective in treating various conditions, including anxiety, chronic pain, and phobias. The benefits of hypnosis include increased relaxation, improved mental clarity, and the ability to change negative thought patterns.

Karen is a Professional Member of Clinical Hypnosis Australia.

Meditation

Meditation is an ancient practice that involves focusing the mind to achieve a state of deep relaxation within the body, mental clarity, and a deeper sense of self. There are various forms of meditation, including Heart Meditation, Mindfulness meditation, Transcendental meditation, and guided imagery.

Regular meditation practice has been shown to reduce stress, enhance emotional health, and improve concentration. The benefits of meditation extend to lower blood pressure, improved sleep quality, and a greater sense of overall well-being.

Karen is a Professional Member of Meditation Association Australia.

Positive Benefits for Healing and Balancing the Mind and Body

Mind-body therapies offer a myriad of benefits that contribute to both mental and physical health. These therapies promote relaxation, reduce stress levels, and enhance emotional stability.

By fostering a deeper connection between the mind and body, individuals often experience improved physical health, such as better immune function, reduced chronic pain, and enhanced recovery from illness.

Additionally, these therapies can improve mental clarity, increase emotional resilience, and foster a greater sense of inner peace and balance.

Five Tips for Balancing Your Body and Mind

Here are five tips for you to balance your mind and body at home.

Practice Regular Meditation: Dedicate at least 10–15 minutes each day to meditation. Choose a quiet space, focus on your breath, and let go of distracting thoughts. Consistent practice can significantly reduce stress and enhance mental clarity. 

Engage in Physical Activity: Incorporate regular exercise into your routine. Activities like yoga, tai chi, or even a daily walk can help release tension, improve mood, and boost overall physical health.

Prioritize Sleep: Ensure you get 7–9 hours of quality sleep each night. Create a relaxing bedtime routine, avoid screens before bed, and maintain a consistent sleep schedule to promote restorative rest.

Stay Mindful: Practice mindfulness throughout the day by paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. This awareness can help you manage stress and stay connected to the present moment.

Seek Professional Guidance: Consider working with a certified practitioner in mind-body therapies such as a kinesiologist, hypnotherapist, or meditation instructor. They can provide personalized strategies to help you achieve optimal balance and wellness.

Conclusion

Incorporating mind-body therapies, tools and techniques into your daily life can lead you to profound mental and physical health improvements. When you recognize and nurture your connection between the mind and body, you can empower yourself to achieve a harmonious balance supporting overall well-being.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

Are you tired of being everyone’s problem solver?

Are you tired of being everyone’s problem solver?

5 Tips To Detach & Step Back To You

I’m having many therapeutic conversations within my professional clinic right now. As a clinical practitioner, I support clients who call themselves ‘fixers’. These people genuinely feel they are called to fix others. My role as a therapeutic facilitator is to help clients create a safe space for them to reflect on their situation and become curious — especially to determine whether being of service to others is costing them. 

I create a therapeutic space that invites clients to reflect on their thoughts, feelings, behaviours and actions. Here’s some example questions that I ask-

  • Do you find you are THAT person that everyone unloads their stories to?
  • Do you find yourself unable to escape as people drag you into their drama dance?
  • Do you feel like your ears could bleed having to listen to the same old broken record of victim stories where people feel stuck?
  • When you help out someone and they take you for granted, want more or don’t say thanks, how do you make sense of that?
  • How does being of service to others work for you and your energy levels?
  • Does this leave you feeling overwhelmed?
  • Do you feel obligated to help out or save others?
  • How much of your energy do you invest in problem-solving for others instead of charging your batteries?
  • Does servicing others before you meet your own needs leave you feeling tired, flat or overwhelmed?

Here are some tips to detach from the drama dance of others and look after yourself first.

When you first recognise that servicing others first before you care for your own needs first, you can feel overwhelmed. It would be human nature if you were wondering how you would withdraw or limit your actions.

Consider these steps to support you stepping back from over-commitment and meet your needs first.

1. Set boundaries

It’s lovely you’re of service to others. But there’s a lovely saying that summarises the need to prioritise yourself “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. To instigate change you have to create a boundary for yourself. There has to be a line in the sand.

Before you instantly agree to help another, consider the following and ask yourself –

  • Do I want to do this thing?
  • “Does it suit me to do this thing?”
  • “Do I have the time and energy resources to fulfil this obligation?”

2. Pause before diving into commitment

When your answers are not instantly “Yes” to the questions above, then that should be motivation to pause and reconsider your involvement in others before investing in yourself.

Those ten seconds that pass when you take a slow deep breath in, and slowly breathe out, allow your brain to switch off the survival reaction, and reactivate your solution-orientated frontal lobes. Creating pause moments allows your brain space to consider what you want before agreeing to meet the needs of others first.

3. Review your calendar

Look at your calendar and find time to meet your needs first before agreeing to help anyone else. This will ensure you have time to fill your cup first.

Additionally, taking that ten-second breath (referenced above) affords you the moment to not feel compelled to instantly say yes, and then regret the commitment later. That slow breath enables you to calm yourself and verify you’d like to help and offer what suits you.

4. Active listening

Whilst this is a therapeutic practitioner skill, active listening is where you listen to what is being said verbally and non-verbally. When practiced correctly you are displaying empathy for the other party, which enables the person to feel heard and validated. 

Active Listening also affords you the capacity to observe someone’s drama dance, without joining them in that chaos cha-cha. Listening is a subtle action whereby you can observe rather than invest in another.

It’s a gift to observe someone in their pain because you can choose whether you fix them or empower them. Sometimes when a person is in pain and overwhelmed, they simply need to find the words to express their pain — they don’t need you to fix them. This can be empowering for you both as the other person finds their solution.

5. Focus on what you need

I am often drawn to the metaphor used by airlines, ‘assign your oxygen mask first’. You have the power, control and choice to fix yourself first before you invest your time and energy in being of service to others.

Additionally, the moment you feel compelled to help others, you can ask both yourself and the other person “What do I need in this moment?” This question allows you to become curiously specific at that moment and often is the first stepping stone to creating forward momentum on a healing journey.

6. Embrace the discomfort of change

Whilst change is inevitable, it is the one constant source in our lives. Many avoid the space of change because it is uncomfortable. However, the discomfort is where we are learning the lessons and gaining the evidence to motivate us to move forward.

The discomfort of change is the space where healing takes place

Conclusion

If you are tired of servicing others before caring for yourself, perhaps it’s time to explore how these tips can support you to detach from the drama dance from others. 

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

Change Your Misperception Of The Outside World

Change Your Misperception Of The Outside World

5 Coaching Questions To Ask Yourself Daily To Transform Your Life

When clients first walk through my door, my first question is always something along the lines of “What brings you here today?”. The answer lately has been very consistent — “I’m feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or stuck”.

During a therapeutic session, we unpack the root cause of those big feelings, and we wrap up with big sighs of relief. Clients are frequently prescribed homework interventions with the view of creating new positive infused habits.

Once you get home, rather than deep dive down into a rabbit hole, and potentially reactivate a trauma experience’s reaction, we can utilise a circuit breaker to simply interrupt that old, uncomfortable program called survival. You know what I’m talking about, those behaviours of negative based thoughts, feelings and self-sabotaging actions that leave you feeling like crap.

Sometimes, the best way to create change habits in your life is to pause and take a breath. My clients often report they feel a little lost as to what to do next. I always suggest they ask themselves a circuit breaker question to interrupt the negative neurological pattern(s) of survival.

In my experience, it’s so useful to ask yourself these simple coaching questions because it forces your brain to switch off the survival program and return to solution-orientated thinking.

Try these self-exploration questions yourself today

Ask as a singular question or as a combination.

Question 1 — Does this align with the life I want to create?

This question is designed to reconnect and focus on the goals associated with your dream life. By questioning your current status quo, you can discern whether you are still aligned with your true north.

Question 2 — What would the best version of me do?

This question enables you to step out of a drama dance, whether it be yours or that of another. Quite simply turn off the tantrum and get on with having the life experience, learning the lesson and frankly getting on with it.

Question 3 — Does this compromise the energy I want to operate?

So often we get caught up in the humanness of our experiences, and so easily get caught up in the old reactive story of life. When you are reactive or defensive, all of your energies (physical, mental and emotional) are directed towards keeping you primed to fight or take flight. 

When you’re in this mindset, there’s no capacity for solution-based thinking or doing. Therefore, asking yourself this question enables you to recognise exactly what and how much energy you are investing to maintain the survival status quo.

Question 4 — Am I chasing this for myself or others?

Don’t get me wrong, you’re allowed to be of service to others. But the age-old saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup” always rings true. If you use all your energy for your service, how do you continue saving, helping, and servicing without burning yourself out?

This question is also a gentle method to become curious as to why you’re invested in an action. Step back and ask yourself this question enables you to identify whether support (especially if over time) is still appropriate or even safe for you to continue.

Question 5 — Will my future self, thank me for this?

This question can be used to reinforce the desire and need to step back and simply observe what is happening outside of you. It’s only then that you can fully consciously recognise that this isn’t your stuff.

Conclusion

If you’re ready to tackle your sense of foreboding overwhelm, anxiety or sensation of feeling stuck, try these coaching questions today, and change the way you perceive your external reality.

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

Loving What Is

Loving What Is

Four Magical Questions To Reframe Garbage Thoughts

As a clinical multi-modality therapist, I am regularly seeking and providing interventions for clients. One of the most powerful tools I share is what I call the ‘circuit breaker’.

By this I mean, that when you consciously acknowledge that you’re experiencing a garbage thought – something that is negative, hostile or not loving of self — when you first notice this sensation, you get to insert a circuit breaker to change the mental thinking habit.

It’s worth noting that we can upwards of 60,000 thoughts a day. It shocks my clients when I advise that approximately seventy-five per cent (75%) of those thoughts are negative! And of those thoughts that are negative, ninety-five per cent (95%) of them are simply repeated from yesterday.

It’s human nature for our brain to not want to have to work or think of something positive unless your subconscious habit is to reframe negativity and actively seek positivity.

We all have moments where we experience ‘garbage thoughts’. But when we have too many of them in a single day, this can leave us feeling heavy and dull.

My suggestion is to insert a ‘circuit breaker’ into the conversation occurring inside your head. 

After reading Byron Katie’s “Loving What Is”, I fell in love with the simplicity of her four-question process to change thought processes and ultimately thinking habits.

Here are four circuit-breaker questions to reframe negativity out of your thinking habits

Question One — Is that true?

When we find ourselves stuck in our survival program, and associated thoughts, it’s so easy to produce garbage inside your head. When we have too many of them in a single day, this can leave us feeling heavy and dull.

The moment you observe or consciously notice the garbage thought ask yourself the following question, “is that true?”. This question forces the brain programs to return to the present moment and activate the frontal lobes to become solution-orientated. In other words, asking whether something is true allows you to observe and reflect if in fact that thought is true.

Question Two — How do you know that’s true?

Ok so you’ve asked yourself “Is that true?”, and perhaps found your first response was to say “yes”. This response is a component of the negative thinking habit. When we become unconditional in the thought process, we’ve not reflected or re-assessed the value of the response, we’ve merely automated it.

This second question — “How do you know this to be true?”, allows you, in the present moment, to seek validation with a fresh perspective, is that old garbage thought your actual reality?

There’s so much power in realising that a garbage thought is not real, wanted or warranted.

Question Three — How do I react when I have these thoughts?

Often when I’m working with a client, the second question instigates a level of reflection and active questioning about whether the thought is true or merely a habit. I follow up with the third question, which empowers the client to get out of their thinking and reflect on their behaviours — in other words, what actions are they taking when the garbage thought pops up?

When we reflect on our reaction(s) we can actively and gently explore the triggers and the old story of how the negative habit arose. Asking someone without judgement, “How do you react when you have these thoughts?” enables them to decide that this old behavioural response is now outdated. This creates an incredibly powerful space for a positive choice point to be created.

Question Four — Who would I be without that thought?

I liken this final question as if you’re stepping out of the situation and thoughts, taking a good look at the experience and saying “Yeah no thanks”.

Asking yourself “Who would I be without this thought?” directly connects you to the vibration and intention of unconditional love. It’s the ultimate destination for positive change.

There’s power in immediately recognising an outdated negative thought and realising you can cancel it, reframe it, or simply state “delete”.

Conclusion

Recently, I was wrapping up a client program, and she told me that I had been inside her head, challenging her garbage thoughts. After working together for several months, this amazing human now instigates this empowerment circuit breaker herself as part of her new habits.

She calls bullshit on all the stupid self-doubt-based negativity that had been bubbling away over the years. She now chooses to change and feel safe again. She did and continues to do the work, and actively uses all these four questions, creating circuit breakers daily. Best of all, she now reports that the frequency and volume of garbage thoughts have vastly reduced.

You too, can attempt these four circuit-breaker questions the next time your life becomes a rollercoaster of thoughts. You can get off the negativity ride when it gets bumpy and insert positivity into your life.

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. 

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website. Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Clinical Resource Therapist, Clinical Hypnotherapist (including psychotherapy), Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Training Counsellor, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland
Have You Tried Failing Forward?

Have You Tried Failing Forward?

10 Ways To Change Your Mindset And Achieve Success

Our modern society has made us soft. So many clients that I work with experience anxiety because they lack the resilience skills to pick themselves up off the floor after splatting against the wall.

When was the last time you tried something new? I am being serious now. I am talking about sticking to something until you nail the outcome you want.

I will share an example of my tenacity. I hate tech. Hate is a big word to use, but when it comes to figuring out tech I would rather have a colonoscopy without the good drugs. When the tech doesn’t work, it can be so easy for me to feel overwhelmed to the point that there are tears.

Sometimes I have to remind myself how much my laptop costs before I throw it out the window whilst in the throes of frustration. What I have come to learn, is how to change my mindset so I don’t go out of control and activate my inner four-year-old tantrum self.

What I have learnt is that stumbling is a natural human art form. It’s normal to stumble, trip, and navigate your way around obstacles. As long as you can propel yourself forward, you’re still winning!

I do these things instead to ensure I continue moving forward, even if I am stumbling.

1. I take a couple of mindful breaths. 

Breathing slowly and purposefully allows you to become present. The present moment is a choice point. This is the headspace that allows you to choose your next action, rather than continue reacting defensively from a place of survival (and lack of clarity).

2. Adopt the mindset that every attempt is simply more experience

I remind myself I am learning something new. Every attempt I make with new action is building muscle memory and a foundation archive of experiences. There is no pass or fail, good or bad. 

The best part of learning is you are refining your brilliance, therefore your actions do not have to be perfect. When you gift yourself this awareness you are practicing kindness. Allowing yourself to learn means you move forward practising and refining your moves.

3. Connect with the feelings of trying

There’s great emotional power to be embraced when you work from your heart space instead of your head. Embracing your feelings allows you to step out of judgment about your performance, and simply step into your cheerleader outfit. This is one of the best forms of self-care — simply observing yourself do-ing rather than wish-ing!

4. Set a reasonable timeframe for your attempt. 

Where possible, do not continue with the frustration of not successfully attempting something new for hours. Perpetuating a perceived failure only makes you feel like shit and reinforces you are failing (in that moment).

This is demonstrated well when training a new puppy. A couple of minutes with a treat to repeat the first step of the sequence is all you need to create the dopamine effect associated with the attempt rather than the outcome.

5. Have a plan when success isn’t instant

For those occasions that I am unable to figure out the problem (and it’s usually tech) in twenty minutes I walk away. This singular action saves my nervous system 90 minutes to have to calm down from an episode of anxiety.

6. Do something different

I do something completely different for five minutes to reframe my visual reality. This soothes my nervous system. More importantly, doing something different gives you a fresh view and provides you with a different perspective. This is often where you open the door to possibilities. The fresh perspective is where you find new options and solutions.

7. Try bush flower essences

I take an electro essence by Australian Bush Flower Essences when doing anything electronic. A couple of drops of that elixir and the tech gremlins disappear. 

If you experience anxiety you may choose Rescue Remedy (Bach Flower Essence). Energy medicine is gentle and powerful at the same time. Open that mind of yours and see what might work for you.

8. Try again

I sit and make another attempt. If the tech still glitches I reboot my computer. If all else fails, I ask for help. There’s no point getting my knickers into a twist. I email or ring my tech person for support. I fall forward rather than stagnate in stress or overwhelm.

I did not realise there is a secret to be discovered when something continues to not work the way you want. The secret is that you are learning about the working parts of the problem. This enables you to describe the problem in detail. It also supports you to know what to ask help for from a big picture down to a microscopic view.

9. Know when to delegate

Some tasks initially seem impossible and completely out of your sphere of expertise. Here is an example. I recently received an email from my email platform providing me with the exciting news that Google was changing requirements for free email. To comply and have my emails not land in the spam folder I needed to take care of the SKM files.

Yeah, I had to look up what that acronym link meant as well, and still had no idea. I chose not to panic, I chose to be proactive and watch the instruction video. Still had no idea, and instead of panicking remembered that my website host has brilliant technicians who perform miracles like this task every single day. So I requested that they perform the task and explained I’m a bit of a technotard.

Bazinga five minutes later, I still have no idea what an SKM link is, but the email platform now links correctly. Problem solved.

10. Let go of expectations of how success will arrive

Allow yourself to experience the joy of simply being well enough to participate, without the expectation of completing what you are attempting. This is a mindful practice of simply being present at the moment and allowing yourself to observe what is happening.

When you are present, your need for control is reduced.

Conclusion

This is your permission slip to continue dreaming. Dream as big as you want. Just be sure to take small, achievable steps using these tips, to the summit of the outcomes you desire. Know that you may stumble, trip, have obstacles in the way and may need to fall to learn. Just be sure to fall forward!

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website. Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Change Facilitator — Kinesiology Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Wellness Coach, and Training Resource Therapist.

She is a published author of This Is My Roar.

She is a self-confessed laughaholic and loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland
Are You A Quitter?

Are You A Quitter?

Last Friday was known as Quitters Day. When I read that, I spat my coffee out. That sounds a little weird right? But when I read a Fortune Well article, I was astounded that they have a name for the second Friday of January —  

Only two weeks into the year, many people have fallen short of their New Year’s goals. The second Friday in January is known as “Quitter’s Day,” when people are most likely to throw in the towel on their resolutions.

Studying the statistics of people who resolved on New Year’s Eve, yesterday was the day you were likely to have stopped backing yourself.

The reality is that sticking to something new can feel hard and uncomfortable. That’s a normal and very human reaction to change. Any form of desired change takes effort and requires consistency.

Here are seven tips to support you to continue your pursuit of the goal

1. Reconnect with your big goal

When working in my own clinical practice, I prioritise bringing my client to a place of remembrance. What is it they want to feel when living out their dreams? For there is great power to be wielded when you reactive your feelings centre.

Unfortunately, when it comes to activating change, our normal human neurological survival programming will activate diversion to defend yourself when anything in life feels uncomfortable. This will look like avoidance and procrastination.

This will immediately impact your capacity for change. Anything new, foreign, unknown or hard will turn on your defence program. This means when anything starts to feel hard your brain will drive you to stop. Your brain will take the path of least resistance because it takes energy to create change.

That same defence program will subconsciously sabotage your willingness to maintain a new routine, thing or aspirational activity. Your defence program causes you to quit because your brain is holding onto a program that is signalling an alert it’s not safe.

What does help to soothe the defensive program is to connect with the positive feelings of your desired goal, and breathe mindfully. 

2. Take bite-size actions

Often when you create a goal, the dream of what you want is vastly different from the place where you are now. Therefore the leap from the present moment to the future can induce overwhelm, doubt and fear. Often the actions you attempt are drastically different from what you are used to doing and this triggers the unsafe reaction.

Here’s the thing, you can eat an elephant, you just have to take one bite at a time. You can complete a marathon, one step at a time. No one says you have to run it. These metaphors are useful reminders that small actions, repeated consistently over time, generate big change outcomes.

3. Keep trying

Many people attempt at a new activity, and when they fail, they give up. There are a couple of reasons for this. 

  • Some people have a fear of failure, so the mere thought of attempting something they have never done before causes paralysis
  • Some people need things to be perfect, so to attempt something new and not be good at it, causes their self-worth to diminish
  • Some people fear the unknown, so the thought of trying something new without knowing the outcome can induce inexplicable anxiety
  • Some people have a fear of being out of control and will invest their time and energy planning. This creates unrealistic expectations of outcomes being a certain way and generates disappointment when the expectation isn’t met. Planning also negates the windows of opportunity and flow to close off, which can diminish the excitement of performing new things.

The trick with anything new is to make the new action so small that it doesn’t matter if you don’t get it right the first time. You simply continue trying until you’ve mastered the task and then continue to the next stepping stone. 

Small actions allow you to push through fears and be spontaneous until you achieve victory. Remind yourself that when you were born, you didn’t stand up and run around. Learning to walk took a year. This gives you that little bit of perspective and incentive to keep trying.

4. When you don’t see an instant result

It’s frustrating when you’re investing the effort and don’t perceive any external changes. This is a choice point, and often the place where many people go back to the beginning and give up.

The trick here is to be consistent with two things — 

a) undertaking small change activities every day (many small steps create a big change path)

b) reminding yourself daily of how living the dream life feels 

This advice sounds counterintuitive, however, real change comes when we reverse engineer our action steps based on our connection with how we want to feel. The more you remind yourself of what the energetic frequency of the dream feels like, the more you will want to connect to it and be living it.

5. When you invest and still don’t see results

Whatever you do, don’t stop. When you hit that point when you’re not seeing results, and you will, this is the time to remind yourself of the success already achieved. 

Celebrate every little success, every step taken, every day that you have been consistent. Recognising every little achievement, and every positive bite of success verifies your desire for change. Celebration keeps the resilience momentum going.

If the motivation has taken a hit, and you feel the speed wobbles beginning to shake get an external cheerleader. Take a new action, get support, or shake up the new routine.

I walk every day. But I walk further and faster when I have a walking ‘mate date’.

When I decide I want to change something in my life I do this —  

  • I reflected on the feelings of living the desired result of what I want
  • I pondered all of the likely steps involved in gently moving forward, you can call them milestones if you like
  • I listed all the likely supports I might need like comfortable shoes, a walking buddy, or even a YouTube exercise class (for rainy days)
  • I explored all the beautiful areas I find myself relaxing in when I walk so that my eyes have different perspectives and never get bored when I exercise
  • I created a list of audio books thanks to Spotify that keep me company when I do the tread mill

So you see a plan can look easy enough, right? It is. 

Remember how you learned to walk. First, you engaged your core muscles so you could sit upright. Then momentum had you on your tummy. Then you developed the strength to use your arms and you learned to crawl. Then you stood, then stepped. 

It’s a process and it takes time. Be kind to yourself as the change unfolds. I remind clients who wish to lose a lot of weight. There will be plateaus as your body recalibrates the metabolism and hormonal programs. Be patient and continue being consistent.

Often the change we want occurs and we don’t see it until someone points it out to us. Go back to the client wanting to lose weight. They know the scales state the numbers are dropping, but they perceive they haven’t lost anything until they bump into someone they haven’t seen in a while.

Remind yourself that your mind will play tricks and default to the basic setting of where you started. If you find yourself floundering, get into your journal, or book an appointment with your therapist and purge out all the feelings associated with your current roadblock.

6. What to do when your life feels “blah” and uninspiring

When you experience that can’t be bothered feeling when you wake up first thing in the morning, take action anyway. This is a crunch moment whereby your brain has defaulted back to the beginning. You need to remind that brain program that it is unwanted and change is required.

Have your workout clothes beside your bed so that you have little choice but to put them on and go outside walking. Preparation for the ‘blah’ moment is critical. 

If your goal is to lose weight, then invest time each week in planning meals. If you know you’re prone to take out or have a busy schedule, devote a couple of hours on the weekend prepping a pre-planning menu. This is one of the very best ways to love the inside of you when you’re busy and want to achieve success.

When you go to bed at the end of the day, think of your dream goal outcome. Go to sleep focussed on how good it feels to be living that outcome. This creates the mental space and high vibe for you to awaken to tomorrow.

7. Accept Failure Is Likely

When you scaffold a new habit, you need to have a level of acceptance that your desired outcomes may not initially be perfect. What is critical for ultimate success is the initial adoption of a mindset that incorporates consistent efforts. This means becoming your cheerleader and congratulating yourself every time you try.

Taking the action is what you should consider as significant and a win.

Conclusion

Whether you made a NYE resolution or not, deciding to change something in your life is the easy part. Following up with consistent action and backing yourself is achievable when you have tips on how first to plan and then follow through.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland