Stop Fighting Your Imposter

Stop Fighting Your Imposter

by | Jun 10, 2025 | Self Development

Try loving this part of yourself instead.

When I started exploring this topic with a client, I gained an understanding that the common societal belief is that Imposter Syndrome is a silent saboteur of success and mental well-being. In my therapeutic experience, this is not true.

I have reflected, read textbooks, and consulted peers. My mindset landed at the following — that your imposter is ‘part’ of you that drives your personality’s natural defences.

We all have an imposter part.

So often we resent this part without understanding its function — this part of you is trying to keep you safe.

Your IMPOSTER incorporates those parts that involve self-doubt, fear of failure, perfectionism, discounting praise, and even overworking.

But here’s the thing, if you allow it, your imposter can run wild and keep those defensive walls up high. Your neurological wiring drives the subconscious defensive battle. This requires a lot of your energy (both physical and mental) to maintain hyper-vigilance, intended to keep you safe.

The investment in regularly activating your defensive walls can erode your resilience and motivation. If this is you, then it’s likely that your confidence bubble bursts before you get to fully embrace complete success sensations.

Feeling safe to actively work on your life challenges and roadblocks teaches you how to get out of your own way in terms of avoidance and procrastination.

Let me ask you this, have you struggled to achieve all that you want?

Do you have a nagging internal voice that whispers, “You’re not good enough.” Let me assure you of a common truth: you are enough, and it’s time to believe it.

In my experience, you can wrestle with your imposter part your entire life. Eventually, you will resent it, dread it and perhaps even fear it showing up. When this happens, your conscious mind is doing battle rather than paying attention to the key messages your imposter is trying to share with you.

I realise that until we learn to embrace the imposter part, we will never achieve the true success and outcomes we desire.

I recommend meeting your imposter with kindness and an open mind. The more I expand into the mental space of the imposter, the more I have come to realise the importance of learning to love your imposter as an asset.

Your imposter self will guide you on arising fears and doubts — so that you can take action.

Your imposter self will make you feel tired or overwhelmed, and therefore signal the need for rest.

Your imposter self will drive overthinking until you write yourself a list of things to do, and can tell yourself “that’s ok” when you don’t complete it.

Here are five strategies to embrace your imposter with kindness

1. Acknowledge Your Thoughts & Feelings

It’s vital for you to recognize that your thoughts are common, fast paced, and temporary. Yet, we so easily can become unstuck when those feelings are not acknowledged and become stuck. We tip into the overwhelm or overthinking space in an effort to make sense of something, that if it had of been acknowledged, it would have continued to flow out of your mind.

We have up to 60,000 thoughts a day, of which around 75% are negative and of that around 90% of those are from yesterday. The more you can acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, even if only calling out ‘garbage thoughts’, the less you propel forward to tomorrow.

2. Celebrate Achievements

Stop taking for granted all of the small wins. Your Imposter keeps score and is watching, always on alert. So if you can call forward your cheerleader to acknowledge every little win. Every small hit of dopamine keeps your mindset positive, which boosts your motivation to continue moving forward.

Therefore keep a record of your successes and reflect on them regularly. This may be journalling or simply tracking colouring, as suggested by Russ Harris in his published work “The Happiness Trap”.

3. Talk About Progress & Success

I don’t know about you, but my profession requires that I undertake supervision. I also choose to participate in coaching and networking circles.

These groups allow me to share my feelings with trusted colleagues, friends or mentors. Often this is a safe space for me to gain fresh perspectives, especially if I feel stuck.

4. Challenge Negative Thoughts

When you permit yourself to recognise the Imposter speech, those negative thoughts and feelings, you can acknowledge them for what they are — garbage.

Replace fear of failure, self-doubt, or even overthinking with neutral or positive language and action boosts your capacity to remain competent during times of stress.

You can challenge negativity with journalling, affirmations, tapping or even breathwork.

5. Set Realistic Goals

Let me ask you this — do you believe you will ever finish your ‘to-do’ list? The realistic answer is that there is always something to do. We will always need to eat, do dishes, bathe and wash clothes.

When it comes to your work or study, are your action lists achievable? Have you broken tasks into manageable parts that allow you to recognise your progress along the way? Or does your Imposter part appear and you procrastinate because the task feels enormous or unachievable?

Conclusion

We all have a part of our psychology called our Imposter. It’s not a syndrome but merely a defensive mechanism to keep you safe and secure. It shows up with a truckload of perceived negativity. And I wonder what might change for you if you could pause the stress reaction, and treat your Imposter with kindness.

I wonder what might change for you?

If your IMPOSTER self is running your life and training like an Olympian, then maybe it’s time to show it some kindness?

Did you know I run a one day retreat? I’ve created an experience that allows you to meet your Imposter and call forward an internal cheerleader – so that you can soothe the fear of failure or imperfection, overthinking, or need for control.

We are all deserving of unconditional love and kindness – just for being born. We also deserve to acknowledge our internal imposter doesn’t need to run our life!

Prefer audio – visit the I am Change-ing podcast!

Click here for the episode

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Mental Health Counselor, Resource Therapist, and published author.  She is a Change Facilitator!

Karen is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

The Great Confidence Con

The Great Confidence Con

by | May 10, 2025 | Self Development

‘Fake It Till You Make It’ Is A Confidence Killer

It’s reasonable to postulate that everyone on the planet, at least one time has experienced a lack of confidence in themselves or their abilities. Confidence is an internal resource that you build as you stretch your comfort zone boundaries.

The opposite of confidence involves that part of you called your imposter. Let me be very clear, it’s normal human psychology to have an imposter self. Your imposter part formulates the thoughts, feelings and behaviours associated with your defensive survival program.

Your imposter part believes it is keeping you safe.

To clarify, your imposter is that part of you that fears failure or needs control, or things to be perfect.

Your imposter part is responsible for your overthinking and worrying about every little thing.

It’s worth stating again — everyone has an imposter, which is normal. Stressful experiences will cause your imposter to behave like it’s on steroids and amplify those negative traits to keep you safe.

It is often your confident part that can reassure you to have a crack, the negative feelings will pass. If however, your confident part is hiding, or is being sat on by your imposter part, guess how easy it is for you to remain focused, concentrate or succeed at anything?

Guess which part is out on deck yelling “The sky is falling”??

Yep, it’s tough to feel confident when you’re experiencing fear-based emotions.

So what is confidence?

Confidence is defined as the internal embodiment of your ability to trust in yourself — your abilities, decisions, or character. Your confident part demonstrates a strong presence to the outside world, is often assertive, and capable of making clear decisions.

Confidence is that trait that becomes the driving force for you to maintain learning new things, even when the lesson is hard. Confidence drives your motivation to continue through the perception of failure.

What isn’t normal, and can become quite destructive to the human psyche, is when your confidence account has run dry. This can occur when your imposter has been left unchecked.

“Confident” describes someone, who is self-assured, while “Confidence” is the feeling or belief in one’s abilities or qualities.

Without confidence, your natural capacity to value your worth will be challenged. This is a dangerous place for the human psyche, for a person lacking in self-worth or confidence will struggle to face life and its experiences.

One of the worst pieces of advice I’ve heard, read and witnessed is the “fake it till you make it”. If your imposter part is operating at Olympic pace, faking and pretending to be something you perceive you can’t do will feel impossible, and further reinforce negative thoughts, feelings and actions.

You risk reinforcing the misperception of lowered self-worth and confidence. This can so very easily become the root cause of anxiety and depression, especially for vulnerable or traumatized children.

Instead of ‘faking’ anything try these tips instead…

1. Know your worth

I wish I had a dollar for every time I told a clinic client that everyone is deserving and worthy of unconditional love, just for being born. I am constantly reinforcing self-worth for clients working through their stress patterns.

For whatever reason, some people have had negative experiences that make them question their belief in themselves. Experiences such as bullying, cultural, or sexual discrimination can leave a person feeling disposable, unlovable, or just not good in some way. This type of negativity erodes your confidence foundation.

The reality is that only you can define your worth. You’re in charge of allocating the confidence credit score system. If your confidence has rusted in any way, implement positive action(s) with techniques such as affirmations, tapping, or therapy to address the root cause of your feeling good.

Your self-worth infiltrates every aspect of you and formulates the foundation of confidence in all ways, so deal with the confidence rust as soon as it appears.

2. Know your good qualities

An important aspect of confidence is understanding the associated good qualities that have built your ability to trust and believe in yourself. This is an all-knowing kind of thing. Awareness of your good qualities contributes significantly to having a strong sense of self-worth.

Knowing and acknowledging your good, positive qualities, involves honest self-reflection. You gain so much power when you can recognise that there are things about you that are good, maybe even great.

​Indeed, we all have good qualities. This is what makes us unique and individual. We all have something to offer the world. Be sure to make a list, as this will become your future evidence that you can refer to on days when you feel challenged in the future.

But if your imposter part is spending your mental energy thinking about the qualities that you perceive you lack, little time or energy is remaining to explore the good or positive qualities. Getting into the habit of regularly self-reflecting, also supports you to identify when you have a garbage thought (negative self-talk) and do something about that.

If your confidence has begun to rust and you’re struggling with identifying all your positive qualities seek support from someone close to you. So often when the imposter has been running wild, your perception or sense of the world becomes blurred and you can so easily lose sight of what others see in you. Simple things like humour, determination, humility, knowledge or skills. Then it’s just a matter of shifting your mindset to focus on these good qualities.

3. Recognize things to be learnt or mastered

Tony Robbins can be quoted as saying “There is no such thing as failure, only results”. What Tony references in his teachings with this statement, is that if your mindset is open and positive, you can never fail only learn.

When you allow yourself to attempt a task, especially if it is new, then adopting an open mindset and allowing yourself to become curious will naturally boost your confidence.

How?

Your perception of the outside world is based on failure, it’s based on curiosity and seeking more information. Your mindset remains open to being fed more information, rather than closing down and operating a survival-based program.

As you identify things to learn, you are creating milestones for a future-forward path. This builds momentum and motivation and your confidence can soar.

4. Be kind to yourself

When your imposter is out for air, you can experience a myriad of fear-based thoughts and feelings associated with failure, and needing to be perfect or in control. Your imposter can so easily become a cruel inner critic if left unchecked.

Quite frankly, your imposter can be a bit of a bastard. But here’s what I’ve learned working clinically for over two decades — your imposter shows us self-doubt, perfectionism, needing control and all of those behaviours when you ignore its presence.

What would happen to your imposter if you loved it?

When you can observe those self-critical inner thoughts, you can meet the imposter’s negativity with kindness. Try using re-framing statements like, “I did the best I could”, or, “I’m proud of myself for the effort I put in”, or “I’m glad I had a go”.

Alternatively, you could call bullshit on the garbage thoughts and feelings. Take a couple of deep breaths, go for a short walk, scream into a pillow, or even tap.

This self-talk can help you re-write internal scripts that can help you become more confident.

5. Give everything your best effort

By doing your best, we have a locked and loaded response to your inner critic. When you hear those inner monologues starting to put you down, you can respond with, “I did my best.” And that is all you can do. When you do your best (while not striving for perfection and telling yourselves you could do more), you may be able to give yourself a bit more of a break and perhaps be more self-accepting.

Conclusion

Boosting self-confidence can be challenging and even at times, quite difficult. Focussing on these key skills can help. I hope that these suggested strategies can support you on the right path towards increasing your self-confidence whilst you soothe your imposter part.

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

If your IMPOSTER self is running your life and training like an Olympian, then maybe it’s time to show it some kindness?

Did you know I run a one day retreat? I’ve created an experience that allows you to meet your Imposter and call forward an internal cheerleader – so that you can soothe the fear of failure or imperfection, overthinking, or need for control.

We are all deserving of unconditional love and kindness – just for being born. We also deserve to ackowledge our internal imposter doesn’t need to run our life!

Prefer audio – visit the I am Change-ing podcast!

Click here for the episode

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

Be Your Own Cheerleader

Be Your Own Cheerleader

by | Jan 12, 2025 | Self Development

Accountability is not a tool that you use to shame yourself.

Accountability is an active form of mindfulness that you can use to honour the commitments you make to yourself (and potentially others).

I use accountability as a tool to follow through on the promises I make to myself. Read that again if you need, because your capacity to follow through is an incredibly powerful resource.

I use accountability techniques to refine how I map out the small actionable steps to achieve my goals and associated responsibilities. Mapping my accountability is especially useful to motivate me when I’m starting something new and feel like I’m in the weeds, struggling to push through or feeling overwhelmed.

The use of accountability map can instill a positive sense of ownership of what you want (without guilt or shame if you don’t immediately achieve). I regularly refer my clinical clients to use accountability maps because you can readily track the small successes you’ve made (and easily dismissed). 

Acknowledging those small wins that generate feel-good hormones and puts credits of hope into your happiness account. This is what can significantly impact your personal growth in a positive way — small hits of dopamine. 

Why do I love accountability mapping so much? Because the positive action of mapping provides you with conscious permission to become your own cheerleader. 

When you map where in your life you’ve been accountable, you remain present rather than triggered. This is a neurological space in your mind, whereby you can allow your imagination to unfold and envisage seeing more success. It is these visions that kick start motivation to continue. This part of your psyche is your inner cheerleader!

Here are four reasons why your ‘inner cheerleader’ could use accountability as a crucial tool in achieving your goals.

Increased Focus

When you can hold yourself accountable (not is a space of shame or guilt), your cheerleader self can revisit your clear goals and objectives. Regularly revisiting and refreshing your vision of what you want to achieve enables you to remain focused. 

This focus boosts your capacity to concentrate on the small actionable steps which will result in what’s truly important in relation to achieving your goal.

Improved Productivity

When your cheerleader tracks your progress, you can identify potential inefficiencies and areas for improvement. Reflection by your cheerleader isn’t a bad thing. Tracking your performance supports you to identify any arising gaps. This will keep you honest with yourself in terms of progress or procrastination.

In my experience when I track my personal progress, I find myself leaning into more efficient use of my time and resources, as well as improving new techniques. My inner cheerleader naturally streamlines processes and systems to ensure I am repeatedly hitting the targets and then expanding to the next goal.

Enhanced Self-Discipline 

Working with your inner cheerleader boosts your accountability capacity through encouragement whilst do-ing the action. Actively utilise that positive internal dialogue from your internal cheerleader to boost your self-discipline and drive a hunger for more consistent effort and dedication to your goals. 

The more positive dialogue you have inside your everyday mind, the more you will crave this subtle serotonin boost and crave more success. You will naturally crave how good it feels after you have completed the small actionable task, rather than focussing on how you feel before the event.

Boosted Confidence

Allow your inner cheerleader to recognise and celebrate everything and all achievements – no matter how small. Cheering all aspects of your beautiful life naturally builds your self-esteem. Your self esteem and belief in self builds the foundations of your confidence in your abilities.

Conclusion

I don’t know about you, but I call upon my inner cheerleader for every single Park Run I participate in. I call upon her when I’m vacuuming or even doing the dishes. That positive part of my psyche is always around cheering me on, no matter what I’m trying to achieve. 

Give your inner cheerleader a shout out today and allow yourself to be mindful of how you feel after you complete the task.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

  • Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here
  • 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here
  • Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

Listen to the audio version via the “I Am Change-ing” Podcast – click here

First published with WordGarden, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is an advanced Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, Hypnotherapist (including psychotherapy), Resource Therapist (Ego State), Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and trainee Counselor (Mental Health).

Karen is a published author of This Is My Roar.

She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland
The Power of Accountability

The Power of Accountability

by | Jan 1, 2025 | Self Development

Get the freebie here

I have been working diligently lately to be more consistent in my rituals and self-practice. I have set some personal targets to embrace being strong in mind and body. I kickstarted my new year, by completing my first Park Run.

To keep myself accountable for achieving this physical goal, I have returned to several habit-forming resources from my clinic shelves. I sourced a simple hack from ‘The Happiness Trap’ by Russ Harris, tracking my progress with colouring mandalas — recording and rewarding. I track my success and am rewarded with beautiful pictures that I display and continue to enjoy after reaching the target.

I am a little neuro-spicey, with a side dish of menopause. This can often leave me feeling vague or wanting to procrastinate. However, when I introduce accountability into my routines, I can experience a safe level of honesty. I can both see and feel the positivity of my success steps and this motivates me to continue with my progress regardless of what I am doing.

I often feel chaotic and even sometimes overwhelmed when all those mental tabs remain open. However, this anxiety sensation can be diminished when I use my accountability behaviours such as tracking with colouring. When I colour and see the picture come to life, I am actively transforming my mindset, and this enables me to step forward to take action, more often.

Accountability is not just about taking responsibility for your actions. You can allow it to be so much more. You can utilize accountability habits to not only acknowledge progress but also celebrate every step of your journey.

When you begin to create accountability behaviour (s), I find simple actions that take little time to complete are the easiest companions. For example, try tracking each accomplished task such as my daily walk, or number of glasses of water.

The tracking isn’t limited to physical actions. I also track increments of every $100 I make, so that I can create a sensation of abundance in my body when I look at the picture coming to life.

By tracking each completed action, you can visualize your progress, which can fuel your motivation.

Gifting myself small deposits to your motivation bank. This makes me feel good and can give me a quick dopamine hit. Small boosts to my motivation are like banking credits to my future happiness.

It is this act of self-cheer leading that propels me toward ongoing and greater success, and that is the ultimate gift of self-love.

When you can self-motivate you create an addiction to achieving more positive outcomes which contribute to bigger goals. Your subliminal habit will naturally evolve to crave positive attempts and ultimately performance rather than avoidance or procrastination.

Therefore becoming accountable boosts your chances of generating initial success and maintaining it to achieve and then stretch your target.

So let me ask you this — is today one day in the cycle of many, or is today DAY ONE? If today is day one, seek out an adult colouring book and track your success!

First published with WordGarden, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

Listen to the audio version via the “I Am Change-ing” Podcast – click here

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website. Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Change Facilitator — Kinesiology Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Wellness Coach, Clinical Resource Therapist, and Training Counselor. She is a published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic and loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland
Hey Mumma, Are You Stressed This Festive Season?

Hey Mumma, Are You Stressed This Festive Season?

by | Dec 5, 2024 | Self Development

Hey Mumma, Are You Stressed This Festive Season?

20 Ways for a Working Mother to Remain Calm During Christmas

As a working mother, I once found Christmas extraordinarily stressful. Running my own business made this time of year super busy. This was especially true when juggling child care, and festive additional social activities.

That all changed when I underwent surgery for breast cancer. After surgery, many of our family traditions couldn’t be performed physically, and I had to let a lot of things go.

During post-operative recovery, I learned simplicity could be just as good as all the expensive fanfare. The more simplistic I made things, the more I enjoyed the season. My stress levels dropped and I felt better about letting go of that part of myself who felt very grinchy.

I reflect on previous Christmases before all those surgeries, I wish I could tell my younger self some wisdom I’ve gained along the way. I wish I could sit that younger, stressed-out version to enjoy herself more and to shift out the cray-cray from her Christmas.

20 Ways for a Working Mother to Remain Calm During Christmas

1. Practice Mindfulness — Gift yourself a strong start to the day by setting aside a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness or meditation. This will help centre your thoughts and reduce stress. Ideally, your morning meditation connects with what lights you up.

3. Permission to prioritise tasks— I have days where I will smash out all the tiny little things, which leaves me feeling satisfied that I have accomplished something. However, I deeply felt satisfaction when my focus remained on the most important or more difficult task(s).

When I can let go of the need for everything to be perfect or even all of the to-do list to be completed. Letting go allows my creativity to flow. When I am flowing, I am moving forward. It’s okay if everything isn’t achieved in one day. I’m not dying over the pile of dirty laundry.

4. Take Breaks — It’s an obvious suggestion, but if your head is caught up in the to-do list, taking a break can be challenging to implement. Why? If you need to be perfect or do it all, you are running a subliminal good-girl program.

My advice is to include taking a break. It then becomes something you tick off your list! Taking short breaks throughout your day supports you to relax and recharge, whether it’s a walk, a cup of tea, or a quiet moment alone.

7. Stay Connected — When my daughter was younger, our social calendar was jam-packed with events to celebrate the end of the year, a sports season etc. The majority of these events did not involve friends and family. Given that Christmas is meant to be a festive season, as opposed to having to, it’s vital to maintain regular communication with friends and family. Their loving support provides you with a deep-felt sense of comfort and calmness.

8. Keep Physical — During the festive season, you tend to overindulge in calorie-rich foods and more alcohol than normal. This impacts the quality of your sleep, and in turn, your capacity to cope in the days following. Be sure to maintain your exercise routine during the festive season, and if possible beef it up a little to burn those extra calories.

9. Maintain a Healthy Diet —I’m not the food nazi. I’m not saying don not eat all the rich food during the festive season! But I am advocating to eat nutritious foods in balance with the rich delicious stuff. Maintaining a diet that is high in vital nutrition will keep your energy levels balanced and enhance your mood. Have the rich food as an occasional dessert or entree with a side dish of veggies!

10. Practice Gratitude — Refer to Suggestion One and introduce gratitude into your festive traditions. Perhaps instead of saying “grace” each person could take their turn expressing what they were grateful for the day, year etc.

11. Get Adequate Sleep — Refer to Suggestion Two and plan when you have the big nights out so that you can ensure you get enough rest to recover before returning to the routine. A well-rested mind is calmer and more focused, and your resilience remains intact after a good night’s sleep.

12. Limit Technology Use — Blue light has a significant influence on your nervous system and brain. It disturbs your circadian rhythm and acts like a stimulant. Therefore be sure to set boundaries on screen time to avoid stimulation overload.

13. Create a Relaxing Environment — Surround yourself with calming scents, sounds, and sights at home to enhance your tranquillity. This year I’ve been using a stunning blend by Perfect Potion, Essensorie, or my own calm space spray.

14. Focus on Breathing — Many people are significantly triggered emotionally during the festive season. Reconnecting with family tends to bring up unresolved old hurts, feelings and wounds. This can cause you to feel defensive. Use breathing exercises to calm your mind and body when feeling overwhelmed or those big feelings arise.

15. Engage in a Hobby — When you spend time on a hobby or activity that brings you joy, you are defusing any stress you’ve stored within your body. So be sure to do things that make you happy during the festive season so that you’re emotionally charged for social gatherings.

16. Set Realistic Expectations — Refer to Suggestions Two and Three and that pesky to-do list. When you can accept that life does not always go as planned, and that’s perfectly okay. What’s most important, is that you can enjoy each experience as it arises, rather than trying to control everything.

17. Practice Self-Compassion — This tip isn’t limited to Christmas! I wish I had a dollar for every time I advised a client to be kind to themselves. If you’re struggling with this, use reflection tools to recognise your thoughts, feelings, and behavioural reactions, even when things don’t go perfectly.

18. Use Positive Affirmations — Start your day with positive affirmations to boost confidence and reduce anxiety.

19. Simplify Holiday Traditions — Focus on traditions that bring joy and eliminate those that add stress.

20. Practice Pausing — If you find yourself in a stressful moment, especially with others, be sure to practice the pause. By this I mean step out of the triggering situation and get grounded. Learn tools to regulate those uncomfortable arising emotions. The more often you can meet the discomfort, the faster you break down the survival behaviour.

Conclusion

Mumma, my wish for you this Christmas, is you can attempt at least one tip this festive season to pause, fill your cup, and be kind to yourself — so that you too can embrace the joy of the season!

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

  • Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here
  • 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here
  • Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

Listen to the audio version via the “I Am Change-ing” Podcast – click here

First published with WordGarden, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is an advanced Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, Hypnotherapist (including psychotherapy), Resource Therapist (Ego State), Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and trainee Counselor (Mental Health).

Karen is a published author of This Is My Roar.

She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland
Use Reflection With Sacred Pause To Gift Wrap The Year

Use Reflection With Sacred Pause To Gift Wrap The Year

by | Dec 1, 2024 | Self Development

Practice Sacred Pause To Plant The Seeds Of Intention (rather than resolution)

From a spiritual perspective, December is the last month of the year and carries a vibrational essence of reflection and closure. It gives us a unique stillness to reflect, dream and wish for future renewal and regeneration possibilities.

Unlike the forced encapsulation of winter, where the energy is frenetic and full of fight, the Australian December is quiet and very still. In fact, the first two weeks of December deliver us what some refer to as a sacred pause, amongst the busyness of the silly season.

If you allow it, the last month of the calendar year can become exceptionally quiet. Imagine allowing yourself to immerse into this powerful vibration of nothing (read that as no-thing) to get in the way of reflecting on yourself, away from the turbulent external winds of the outside world.

Whilst December weather is often warming up for those of us in the southern hemisphere, it is littered with electrical thunderstorms and shifting air currents. December sends whispers on the wind, and this breeze is a gift to gently remind you to consider what is in your best interest.

When you consciously step out of the hoopla of social engagements and step into your heart, the sacred pause can become activated. Sacred Pause is a mindfulness technique deployed in yoga and meditation. It’s simply a deliberate time to be present with yourself. The practice involves purposeful breath work and a mindset whereby you check in with your current thoughts and feelings — to show up for and to yourself.

You started this year, and have arrived no doubt at a different destination than what you may have expected. You can use the sacred pause to reflect, love and release what perhaps no longer aligns within the space you have arrived.

You can adore and worship those defining moments that caused or allowed you to change direction or speed. It is a choice to remain rooted in pain or recognize you’ve walked the path of learning.

You may not realize it is beautiful, but you are exactly where you need to be for further growth and evolution.

During December you get to look back over your shoulder and honor the footsteps you’ve taken. Reflection allows you to relish your growth and revisit your lessons, which have shaped your capacity to stand a little taller, and perhaps now hold more wisdom.

Consider the following journal questions during your own Sacred Pause

  • Reminisce on this year’s intention that you set yourself earlier this year — did you align to the frequency of what you wanted to be?
  • What new endeavor have you commenced this year? Did you succeed or is there more to learn?
  • Where possible actively seek ways to tie off loose ends and wrap up unfinished business?

Once you have revisited your heart, you’re in a position of very high vibrational power whereby you can reignite and reconnect with your true north — your purpose. This is the vibration whereby you can plant the seed of a revised or new intention. The energy of these first two weeks of December is ripe for you to fertilize fresh ideas, creativity and wonderment.

Amplify your energy, by carving out moments to clear your space of any physical or emotional debris. Clear out, let go, delete and release anything that may obstruct what is meant to now come into your space, your world, and enrich your life.

This is a time to intuitively prepare for future chapters. Imagine you can now edit future editions of what is yet to be written.

Ask yourself how you want to be defined as you step forward.

The reference to the wise woman who does not succumb to the craving for new, shiny or bright unless it is intrinsically within you and linked to your heart and your soul-led purpose. I have always interpreted this phrase for me to feel what is required, rather than think or wish for it.

Allow yourself to create a heartfelt vision. Grant yourself permission during your sacred pause moments to see, feel and imagine touching this future version of you. These imaginings become your future self and next year’s intention.

A resolution is merely a dream, the intention is comprehending the steps you require to live the life you want.

Conclusion

May this month be filled with ease you allow yourself grace to find peace with that which remains unresolved, unlearnt or not quite embraced. Utilize sacred pause moments to connect to all things that bring lessons, growth and expansion for your vital essence. These reflections are the things that will enhance the experience of your reflection, and the closure of this year. Practicing sacred pause enables you to release, let go and shine from the core of your essence.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

  • Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here
  • 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here
  • Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

Listen to the audio version via the “I Am Change-ing” Podcast – click here

First published with WordGarden, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is an advanced Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, Hypnotherapist (including psychotherapy), Resource Therapist (Ego State), Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and trainee Counselor (Mental Health).

Karen is a published author of This Is My Roar.

She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland