
Stop Fighting Your Imposter
Try loving this part of yourself instead.
When I started exploring this topic with a client, I gained an understanding that the common societal belief is that Imposter Syndrome is a silent saboteur of success and mental well-being. In my therapeutic experience, this is not true.
I have reflected, read textbooks, and consulted peers. My mindset landed at the following — that your imposter is ‘part’ of you that drives your personality’s natural defences.
We all have an imposter part.
So often we resent this part without understanding its function — this part of you is trying to keep you safe.
Your IMPOSTER incorporates those parts that involve self-doubt, fear of failure, perfectionism, discounting praise, and even overworking.
But here’s the thing, if you allow it, your imposter can run wild and keep those defensive walls up high. Your neurological wiring drives the subconscious defensive battle. This requires a lot of your energy (both physical and mental) to maintain hyper-vigilance, intended to keep you safe.
The investment in regularly activating your defensive walls can erode your resilience and motivation. If this is you, then it’s likely that your confidence bubble bursts before you get to fully embrace complete success sensations.
Feeling safe to actively work on your life challenges and roadblocks teaches you how to get out of your own way in terms of avoidance and procrastination.
Let me ask you this, have you struggled to achieve all that you want?
Do you have a nagging internal voice that whispers, “You’re not good enough.” Let me assure you of a common truth: you are enough, and it’s time to believe it.
In my experience, you can wrestle with your imposter part your entire life. Eventually, you will resent it, dread it and perhaps even fear it showing up. When this happens, your conscious mind is doing battle rather than paying attention to the key messages your imposter is trying to share with you.
I realise that until we learn to embrace the imposter part, we will never achieve the true success and outcomes we desire.
I recommend meeting your imposter with kindness and an open mind. The more I expand into the mental space of the imposter, the more I have come to realise the importance of learning to love your imposter as an asset.
Your imposter self will guide you on arising fears and doubts — so that you can take action.
Your imposter self will make you feel tired or overwhelmed, and therefore signal the need for rest.
Your imposter self will drive overthinking until you write yourself a list of things to do, and can tell yourself “that’s ok” when you don’t complete it.
Here are five strategies to embrace your imposter with kindness
1. Acknowledge Your Thoughts & Feelings
It’s vital for you to recognize that your thoughts are common, fast paced, and temporary. Yet, we so easily can become unstuck when those feelings are not acknowledged and become stuck. We tip into the overwhelm or overthinking space in an effort to make sense of something, that if it had of been acknowledged, it would have continued to flow out of your mind.
We have up to 60,000 thoughts a day, of which around 75% are negative and of that around 90% of those are from yesterday. The more you can acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, even if only calling out ‘garbage thoughts’, the less you propel forward to tomorrow.
2. Celebrate Achievements
Stop taking for granted all of the small wins. Your Imposter keeps score and is watching, always on alert. So if you can call forward your cheerleader to acknowledge every little win. Every small hit of dopamine keeps your mindset positive, which boosts your motivation to continue moving forward.
Therefore keep a record of your successes and reflect on them regularly. This may be journalling or simply tracking colouring, as suggested by Russ Harris in his published work “The Happiness Trap”.
3. Talk About Progress & Success
I don’t know about you, but my profession requires that I undertake supervision. I also choose to participate in coaching and networking circles.
These groups allow me to share my feelings with trusted colleagues, friends or mentors. Often this is a safe space for me to gain fresh perspectives, especially if I feel stuck.
4. Challenge Negative Thoughts
When you permit yourself to recognise the Imposter speech, those negative thoughts and feelings, you can acknowledge them for what they are — garbage.
Replace fear of failure, self-doubt, or even overthinking with neutral or positive language and action boosts your capacity to remain competent during times of stress.
You can challenge negativity with journalling, affirmations, tapping or even breathwork.
5. Set Realistic Goals
Let me ask you this — do you believe you will ever finish your ‘to-do’ list? The realistic answer is that there is always something to do. We will always need to eat, do dishes, bathe and wash clothes.
When it comes to your work or study, are your action lists achievable? Have you broken tasks into manageable parts that allow you to recognise your progress along the way? Or does your Imposter part appear and you procrastinate because the task feels enormous or unachievable?
Conclusion
We all have a part of our psychology called our Imposter. It’s not a syndrome but merely a defensive mechanism to keep you safe and secure. It shows up with a truckload of perceived negativity. And I wonder what might change for you if you could pause the stress reaction, and treat your Imposter with kindness.
I wonder what might change for you?

If your IMPOSTER self is running your life and training like an Olympian, then maybe it’s time to show it some kindness?
Did you know I run a one day retreat? I’ve created an experience that allows you to meet your Imposter and call forward an internal cheerleader – so that you can soothe the fear of failure or imperfection, overthinking, or need for control.
We are all deserving of unconditional love and kindness – just for being born. We also deserve to acknowledge our internal imposter doesn’t need to run our life!
Prefer audio – visit the I am Change-ing podcast!

Want to read more like this?
This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.
Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here
8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here
Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here
About Karen
Change Facilitator
Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Mental Health Counselor, Resource Therapist, and published author. She is a Change Facilitator!
Karen is a self-confessed laughaholic. She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’