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Be Your Own Cheerleader

Be Your Own Cheerleader

Accountability is not a tool that you use to shame yourself.

Accountability is an active form of mindfulness that you can use to honour the commitments you make to yourself (and potentially others).

I use accountability as a tool to follow through on the promises I make to myself. Read that again if you need, because your capacity to follow through is an incredibly powerful resource.

I use accountability techniques to refine how I map out the small actionable steps to achieve my goals and associated responsibilities. Mapping my accountability is especially useful to motivate me when I’m starting something new and feel like I’m in the weeds, struggling to push through or feeling overwhelmed.

The use of accountability map can instill a positive sense of ownership of what you want (without guilt or shame if you don’t immediately achieve). I regularly refer my clinical clients to use accountability maps because you can readily track the small successes you’ve made (and easily dismissed). 

Acknowledging those small wins that generate feel-good hormones and puts credits of hope into your happiness account. This is what can significantly impact your personal growth in a positive way — small hits of dopamine. 

Why do I love accountability mapping so much? Because the positive action of mapping provides you with conscious permission to become your own cheerleader. 

When you map where in your life you’ve been accountable, you remain present rather than triggered. This is a neurological space in your mind, whereby you can allow your imagination to unfold and envisage seeing more success. It is these visions that kick start motivation to continue. This part of your psyche is your inner cheerleader!

Here are four reasons why your ‘inner cheerleader’ could use accountability as a crucial tool in achieving your goals.

Increased Focus

When you can hold yourself accountable (not is a space of shame or guilt), your cheerleader self can revisit your clear goals and objectives. Regularly revisiting and refreshing your vision of what you want to achieve enables you to remain focused. 

This focus boosts your capacity to concentrate on the small actionable steps which will result in what’s truly important in relation to achieving your goal.

Improved Productivity

When your cheerleader tracks your progress, you can identify potential inefficiencies and areas for improvement. Reflection by your cheerleader isn’t a bad thing. Tracking your performance supports you to identify any arising gaps. This will keep you honest with yourself in terms of progress or procrastination.

In my experience when I track my personal progress, I find myself leaning into more efficient use of my time and resources, as well as improving new techniques. My inner cheerleader naturally streamlines processes and systems to ensure I am repeatedly hitting the targets and then expanding to the next goal.

Enhanced Self-Discipline 

Working with your inner cheerleader boosts your accountability capacity through encouragement whilst do-ing the action. Actively utilise that positive internal dialogue from your internal cheerleader to boost your self-discipline and drive a hunger for more consistent effort and dedication to your goals. 

The more positive dialogue you have inside your everyday mind, the more you will crave this subtle serotonin boost and crave more success. You will naturally crave how good it feels after you have completed the small actionable task, rather than focussing on how you feel before the event.

Boosted Confidence

Allow your inner cheerleader to recognise and celebrate everything and all achievements – no matter how small. Cheering all aspects of your beautiful life naturally builds your self-esteem. Your self esteem and belief in self builds the foundations of your confidence in your abilities.

Conclusion

I don’t know about you, but I call upon my inner cheerleader for every single Park Run I participate in. I call upon her when I’m vacuuming or even doing the dishes. That positive part of my psyche is always around cheering me on, no matter what I’m trying to achieve. 

Give your inner cheerleader a shout out today and allow yourself to be mindful of how you feel after you complete the task.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

  • Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here
  • 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here
  • Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

Listen to the audio version via the “I Am Change-ing” Podcast – click here

First published with WordGarden, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is an advanced Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, Hypnotherapist (including psychotherapy), Resource Therapist (Ego State), Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and trainee Counselor (Mental Health).

Karen is a published author of This Is My Roar.

She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland
The Power of Accountability

The Power of Accountability

I have been working diligently lately to be more consistent in my rituals and self-practice. I have set some personal targets to embrace being strong in mind and body. I kickstarted my new year, by completing my first Park Run.

To keep myself accountable for achieving this physical goal, I have returned to several habit-forming resources from my clinic shelves. I sourced a simple hack from ‘The Happiness Trap’ by Russ Harris, tracking my progress with colouring mandalas — recording and rewarding. I track my success and am rewarded with beautiful pictures that I display and continue to enjoy after reaching the target.

I am a little neuro-spicey, with a side dish of menopause. This can often leave me feeling vague or wanting to procrastinate. However, when I introduce accountability into my routines, I can experience a safe level of honesty. I can both see and feel the positivity of my success steps and this motivates me to continue with my progress regardless of what I am doing.

I often feel chaotic and even sometimes overwhelmed when all those mental tabs remain open. However, this anxiety sensation can be diminished when I use my accountability behaviours such as tracking with colouring. When I colour and see the picture come to life, I am actively transforming my mindset, and this enables me to step forward to take action, more often.

Accountability is not just about taking responsibility for your actions. You can allow it to be so much more. You can utilize accountability habits to not only acknowledge progress but also celebrate every step of your journey.

When you begin to create accountability behaviour (s), I find simple actions that take little time to complete are the easiest companions. For example, try tracking each accomplished task such as my daily walk, or number of glasses of water.

The tracking isn’t limited to physical actions. I also track increments of every $100 I make, so that I can create a sensation of abundance in my body when I look at the picture coming to life.

By tracking each completed action, you can visualize your progress, which can fuel your motivation.

Gifting myself small deposits to your motivation bank. This makes me feel good and can give me a quick dopamine hit. Small boosts to my motivation are like banking credits to my future happiness.

It is this act of self-cheer leading that propels me toward ongoing and greater success, and that is the ultimate gift of self-love.

When you can self-motivate you create an addiction to achieving more positive outcomes which contribute to bigger goals. Your subliminal habit will naturally evolve to crave positive attempts and ultimately performance rather than avoidance or procrastination.

Therefore becoming accountable boosts your chances of generating initial success and maintaining it to achieve and then stretch your target.

So let me ask you this — is today one day in the cycle of many, or is today DAY ONE? If today is day one, seek out an adult colouring book and track your success!

First published with WordGarden, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

Listen to the audio version via the “I Am Change-ing” Podcast – click here

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website. Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Change Facilitator — Kinesiology Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Wellness Coach, Clinical Resource Therapist, and Training Counselor. She is a published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic and loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland
Hey Mumma, Are You Stressed This Festive Season?

Hey Mumma, Are You Stressed This Festive Season?

Hey Mumma, Are You Stressed This Festive Season?

20 Ways for a Working Mother to Remain Calm During Christmas

As a working mother, I once found Christmas extraordinarily stressful. Running my own business made this time of year super busy. This was especially true when juggling child care, and festive additional social activities.

That all changed when I underwent surgery for breast cancer. After surgery, many of our family traditions couldn’t be performed physically, and I had to let a lot of things go.

During post-operative recovery, I learned simplicity could be just as good as all the expensive fanfare. The more simplistic I made things, the more I enjoyed the season. My stress levels dropped and I felt better about letting go of that part of myself who felt very grinchy.

I reflect on previous Christmases before all those surgeries, I wish I could tell my younger self some wisdom I’ve gained along the way. I wish I could sit that younger, stressed-out version to enjoy herself more and to shift out the cray-cray from her Christmas.

20 Ways for a Working Mother to Remain Calm During Christmas

1. Practice Mindfulness — Gift yourself a strong start to the day by setting aside a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness or meditation. This will help centre your thoughts and reduce stress. Ideally, your morning meditation connects with what lights you up.

3. Permission to prioritise tasks— I have days where I will smash out all the tiny little things, which leaves me feeling satisfied that I have accomplished something. However, I deeply felt satisfaction when my focus remained on the most important or more difficult task(s).

When I can let go of the need for everything to be perfect or even all of the to-do list to be completed. Letting go allows my creativity to flow. When I am flowing, I am moving forward. It’s okay if everything isn’t achieved in one day. I’m not dying over the pile of dirty laundry.

4. Take Breaks — It’s an obvious suggestion, but if your head is caught up in the to-do list, taking a break can be challenging to implement. Why? If you need to be perfect or do it all, you are running a subliminal good-girl program.

My advice is to include taking a break. It then becomes something you tick off your list! Taking short breaks throughout your day supports you to relax and recharge, whether it’s a walk, a cup of tea, or a quiet moment alone.

7. Stay Connected — When my daughter was younger, our social calendar was jam-packed with events to celebrate the end of the year, a sports season etc. The majority of these events did not involve friends and family. Given that Christmas is meant to be a festive season, as opposed to having to, it’s vital to maintain regular communication with friends and family. Their loving support provides you with a deep-felt sense of comfort and calmness.

8. Keep Physical — During the festive season, you tend to overindulge in calorie-rich foods and more alcohol than normal. This impacts the quality of your sleep, and in turn, your capacity to cope in the days following. Be sure to maintain your exercise routine during the festive season, and if possible beef it up a little to burn those extra calories.

9. Maintain a Healthy Diet —I’m not the food nazi. I’m not saying don not eat all the rich food during the festive season! But I am advocating to eat nutritious foods in balance with the rich delicious stuff. Maintaining a diet that is high in vital nutrition will keep your energy levels balanced and enhance your mood. Have the rich food as an occasional dessert or entree with a side dish of veggies!

10. Practice Gratitude — Refer to Suggestion One and introduce gratitude into your festive traditions. Perhaps instead of saying “grace” each person could take their turn expressing what they were grateful for the day, year etc.

11. Get Adequate Sleep — Refer to Suggestion Two and plan when you have the big nights out so that you can ensure you get enough rest to recover before returning to the routine. A well-rested mind is calmer and more focused, and your resilience remains intact after a good night’s sleep.

12. Limit Technology Use — Blue light has a significant influence on your nervous system and brain. It disturbs your circadian rhythm and acts like a stimulant. Therefore be sure to set boundaries on screen time to avoid stimulation overload.

13. Create a Relaxing Environment — Surround yourself with calming scents, sounds, and sights at home to enhance your tranquillity. This year I’ve been using a stunning blend by Perfect PotionEssensorie, or my own calm space spray.

14. Focus on Breathing — Many people are significantly triggered emotionally during the festive season. Reconnecting with family tends to bring up unresolved old hurts, feelings and wounds. This can cause you to feel defensive. Use breathing exercises to calm your mind and body when feeling overwhelmed or those big feelings arise.

15. Engage in a Hobby — When you spend time on a hobby or activity that brings you joy, you are defusing any stress you’ve stored within your body. So be sure to do things that make you happy during the festive season so that you’re emotionally charged for social gatherings.

16. Set Realistic Expectations — Refer to Suggestions Two and Three and that pesky to-do list. When you can accept that life does not always go as planned, and that’s perfectly okay. What’s most important, is that you can enjoy each experience as it arises, rather than trying to control everything.

17. Practice Self-Compassion — This tip isn’t limited to Christmas! I wish I had a dollar for every time I advised a client to be kind to themselves. If you’re struggling with this, use reflection tools to recognise your thoughts, feelings, and behavioural reactions, even when things don’t go perfectly.

18. Use Positive Affirmations — Start your day with positive affirmations to boost confidence and reduce anxiety.

19. Simplify Holiday Traditions — Focus on traditions that bring joy and eliminate those that add stress.

20. Practice Pausing — If you find yourself in a stressful moment, especially with others, be sure to practice the pause. By this I mean step out of the triggering situation and get grounded. Learn tools to regulate those uncomfortable arising emotions. The more often you can meet the discomfort, the faster you break down the survival behaviour.

Conclusion

Mumma, my wish for you this Christmas, is you can attempt at least one tip this festive season to pause, fill your cup, and be kind to yourself — so that you too can embrace the joy of the season!

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

  • Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here
  • 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here
  • Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

Listen to the audio version via the “I Am Change-ing” Podcast – click here

First published with WordGarden, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is an advanced Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, Hypnotherapist (including psychotherapy), Resource Therapist (Ego State), Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and trainee Counselor (Mental Health).

Karen is a published author of This Is My Roar.

She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland
Use Reflection With Sacred Pause To Gift Wrap The Year

Use Reflection With Sacred Pause To Gift Wrap The Year

Practice Sacred Pause To Plant The Seeds Of Intention (rather than resolution)

From a spiritual perspective, December is the last month of the year and carries a vibrational essence of reflection and closure. It gives us a unique stillness to reflect, dream and wish for future renewal and regeneration possibilities.

Unlike the forced encapsulation of winter, where the energy is frenetic and full of fight, the Australian December is quiet and very still. In fact, the first two weeks of December deliver us what some refer to as a sacred pause, amongst the busyness of the silly season.

If you allow it, the last month of the calendar year can become exceptionally quiet. Imagine allowing yourself to immerse into this powerful vibration of nothing (read that as no-thing) to get in the way of reflecting on yourself, away from the turbulent external winds of the outside world.

Whilst December weather is often warming up for those of us in the southern hemisphere, it is littered with electrical thunderstorms and shifting air currents. December sends whispers on the wind, and this breeze is a gift to gently remind you to consider what is in your best interest.

When you consciously step out of the hoopla of social engagements and step into your heart, the sacred pause can become activated. Sacred Pause is a mindfulness technique deployed in yoga and meditation. It’s simply a deliberate time to be present with yourself. The practice involves purposeful breath work and a mindset whereby you check in with your current thoughts and feelings — to show up for and to yourself.

You started this year, and have arrived no doubt at a different destination than what you may have expected. You can use the sacred pause to reflect, love and release what perhaps no longer aligns within the space you have arrived.

You can adore and worship those defining moments that caused or allowed you to change direction or speed. It is a choice to remain rooted in pain or recognize you’ve walked the path of learning.

You may not realize it is beautiful, but you are exactly where you need to be for further growth and evolution.

During December you get to look back over your shoulder and honor the footsteps you’ve taken. Reflection allows you to relish your growth and revisit your lessons, which have shaped your capacity to stand a little taller, and perhaps now hold more wisdom.

Consider the following journal questions during your own Sacred Pause

  • Reminisce on this year’s intention that you set yourself earlier this year — did you align to the frequency of what you wanted to be?
  • What new endeavor have you commenced this year? Did you succeed or is there more to learn?
  • Where possible actively seek ways to tie off loose ends and wrap up unfinished business?

Once you have revisited your heart, you’re in a position of very high vibrational power whereby you can reignite and reconnect with your true north — your purpose. This is the vibration whereby you can plant the seed of a revised or new intention. The energy of these first two weeks of December is ripe for you to fertilize fresh ideas, creativity and wonderment.

Amplify your energy, by carving out moments to clear your space of any physical or emotional debris. Clear out, let go, delete and release anything that may obstruct what is meant to now come into your space, your world, and enrich your life.

This is a time to intuitively prepare for future chapters. Imagine you can now edit future editions of what is yet to be written.

Ask yourself how you want to be defined as you step forward.

The reference to the wise woman who does not succumb to the craving for new, shiny or bright unless it is intrinsically within you and linked to your heart and your soul-led purpose. I have always interpreted this phrase for me to feel what is required, rather than think or wish for it.

Allow yourself to create a heartfelt vision. Grant yourself permission during your sacred pause moments to see, feel and imagine touching this future version of you. These imaginings become your future self and next year’s intention.

A resolution is merely a dream, the intention is comprehending the steps you require to live the life you want.

Conclusion

May this month be filled with ease you allow yourself grace to find peace with that which remains unresolved, unlearnt or not quite embraced. Utilize sacred pause moments to connect to all things that bring lessons, growth and expansion for your vital essence. These reflections are the things that will enhance the experience of your reflection, and the closure of this year. Practicing sacred pause enables you to release, let go and shine from the core of your essence.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

  • Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here
  • 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here
  • Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

Listen to the audio version via the “I Am Change-ing” Podcast – click here

First published with WordGarden, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is an advanced Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, Hypnotherapist (including psychotherapy), Resource Therapist (Ego State), Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and trainee Counselor (Mental Health).

Karen is a published author of This Is My Roar.

She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

Cognitively Shuffle Yourself To Sleep

Cognitively Shuffle Yourself To Sleep

Scientifically Soothing Your Way To Zen

As a practising Change Facilitator, I adore exploring new tips and tricks for combating mental and physical stress. When you don’t address that unresolved stress, you store it in your body systems, which can disturb your sleep. And we all know that we need quality sleep to focus, concentrate, emotionally regulate, and function as socially acceptable adults.

Have you heard of cognitive shuffle?? 

I know it sounds somewhat invasive and perhaps a little painful, but I promise you it’s a ripper. I have trialled various formats of this simple strategy both personally and in the clinic with all age groups, and they all work well.

The cognitive shuffle was developed by Professor Luc P. Beaudoin of Simon Fraser University. It is based on Beaudoin’s theory of the human sleep onset control system, the somnolent information processing theory (SIP). Note somnolent is simply a fancy medical word for sleep.

Cognitive Shuffle is, therefore, a mental strategy to distract your busy mind, and can be utilized to quickly facilitate initial sleep onset, or subsequent sleep onset after early awakening from sleep. 

The technique works exceptionally well when your head is filled at night with thoughts from the day you create a type of mental stress. This overthinking causes you to toss and turn and remain alert rather than relax.

The technique invites you to think of something neutral or pleasant for just a short period, and then switch to think of an unrelated topic. This is essentially a cognitive behavioural technique (CBT) and it’s even used in neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and known as a scramble.

The shuffle actively distracts the conscious mind from the thoughts that disturb your capacity to unwind, let go of the day, and fall asleep.

How to perform a cognitive shuffle?

The shuffle actively distracts the conscious mind from the thoughts that disturb your capacity to unwind, let go of the day, and fall asleep.

Here’s an example: “MONTHLY” starts with a “M”. So, repeatedly think of a word that starts with M and then imagine it. For example,

M…

MEATBALL. Imagine a meatball.
MOWER. Imagine pushing a lawn mower and easily cutting grass.
MINDFUL. Image someone meditating on a cushion.
MERRY. Imagine sitting beneath a Christmas tree.
MACHINE. Imagine walking through a factory, watching a machine make components for a car.
MAGNITUDE. Imagine an earthquake. Or perhaps this isn’t relaxing so skip this word!
MAJESTIC. Imagine the King sitting on his throne. (It’s ok to imagine people)
MANIFEST. Imagine sitting in a vault full of gold and money, or on a tropical holiday.

Once you get bored of the letter (M, in this case) or you can’t find another word starting with that letter, just move on to the next letter.

The next letter in MONTHLY is O. So think of words beginning with O and then imagine them.
O…

OPEN. Imagine opening a treasure chest (you can see a positive theme here right?).

OVER. Imagine jumping over a fence.

OCTOPUS. Imagine walking in rock pools and finding a sea creature. 

OPULENT. Imagine wearing jewels around your neck.

If you have difficulty coming up with words that start with O, either skip this letter or use this trick: tack on an extra letter to O and see if that helps. For example, if you try OP… you might think of OPEN and then OPERA, OPIUM, and OPTICS.

Continue generating O_ words until you get bored of the letter O or you can’t find words starting with M anymore. Then proceed to the next letter in the seed word (MONTHLY, in this example).

If you happen to make it to the end of the seed word, MONTHLY without falling asleep that’s ok. Focus on how relaxed you now are. There’s no right or wrong, this is a relaxation technique for your busy everyday mind. 

Pick a new seed word, such as BEDTIME, and repeat the entire process. Return to step one and think of words for each of its letters, think of words that start with that letter, and imagine those words.

Here are some extra tips if the exercise causes you stress:

  • It is ok if you produce a word that you can’t easily imagine. Cut yourself some slack, reject that word, and move on. This isn’t a test, it is a relaxation process.
  • Remind yourself that you always have the choice of sitting silently with both the word and your arising emotions — you can measure your emotional reaction. Use one of the many mindfulness techniques I share to feel your emotions until they pass or you decide to release them.
  • Remember that the activity requires you to think of another word, and this will replace the content of your ‘working memory’. Changing the word is likely to support you feeling calmer because human emotions are mainly the result of our thinking. 
  • Psychological research suggests that acceptance of your emotions is healthy to restore calming neurological function which is beneficial for sleep. 
  • If you can’t think of any more words for a given letter, keep moving to the next letter. This exercise allows you to create a rhythm that interrupts the overthinking and switches you from being stuck in thoughts to flowing. Imagine yourself on a paddle board, you can’t paddle backwards upstream, just keep going.
  • Sometimes it can be helpful to allow your imagination to explore variations of a few contexts for the same object. For example, if the word is ‘mountain’, you could imagine, one at a time, several different mountains you know, or even an entire mountain range. I’ve had times when I’ve used this word and imagined flying in a helicopter from the south-face wall of the Grand Canyon to the north.
  • You don’t have to stick to the seed word. If your imagination allows you to get into the flow and your everyday mind starts to relax — who cares? This isn’t an exercise with rules. The exercise was designed to support your everyday mind to relax.

Please Note Some Limitations of Cognitive Shuffling

Cognitive Shuffling is not always appropriate or suitable for everyone. Here are some conditions whereby you might give it the hard pass:

  • If you are too tired to conjure up words. For example you wake up in the middle of the night, you’re tired but not drowsy enough to fall asleep. Try breathwork instead. We don’t want to stimulate your conscious mind into action.
  • If you get stimulated or fixated on what you are thinking when you are trying to fall asleep.
  • If you’re presently in a mental space where your confidence has taken a hit and it’s hard to find words and you get down on yourself.
  • If you struggle to identify words that start with a given letter, despite practice. That’s ok. Ditch the word, and pick an animal. You could think of different parts of the animal or different breeds.
  • You find spelling overwhelming or have a learning challenge. 

Let me reassure you, that it’s ok in these situations above, or anything you try to relax yourself, that if it doesn’t work or causes frustration just pause. The exercise intends to generate a sense of relaxation that induces a shift in your brain wave so that you naturally fall asleep.

Conclusion

If you experience overthinking before you go to sleep, give cognitive shuffle a go tonight. Consider pairing this activity with some breathwork to induce a deep-felt relaxation experience for your mind and body!!

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

  • Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here
  • 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here
  • Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

Prefer to listen to a podcast?

Karen has a free public podcast channel entitled “I Am Changeing” that stores resources for clients.

Click here for this episode.

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is an advanced Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, Hypnotherapist (including psychotherapy), Resource Therapist (Ego State), Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and trainee Counselor (Mental Health).

Karen is a published author of This Is My Roar.

She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

Cancel That

Cancel That

Use This Statement As A Circuit Breaker to Unwanted Self-Talk

I see clients within my therapeutic clinic who admit their perception of self is misguided. They tell me they feel lost, ungrounded and disassociated. They are not centred physically, mentally or emotionally.

Throughout the therapy session, I guide the client to unpack the reasons for those words. They retell their stories. They retrace the steps leading to this place on the road of life. It often starts with not believing or backing yourself. It can start with something as simple as your language to describe yourself.

Your brain automatically defaults to a negative outlook. Why? Because it takes less effort. You don’t have to expend energy seeking solutions, evidence, or positive patterns. It takes the shortest path to a response/reaction. However, it’s worth noting that the brain also doesn’t know what is real (or not). When the brain records information, it does so as if it were happening.

When you use negative language to describe yourself, your brain believes what you tell it. Your mind records those statements and matches the memory with what you are doing. There is also a process of filing that memory with specific people in particular places. Your brain creates memories — that are not always factual, but based on how you responded to the occasion from an emotional and sensory perspective.

Crazy right?

When creating change processes with my clinical clients I start with tiny steps. As humans, it’s easier to create change when there are small changes — it’s more comfortable and digestible. You’re creating a new muscle memory that takes physical and mental energy. I liken the process to a baby taking a year to learn to walk. It’s a process and there are milestones like sitting, rolling, rocking, crawling, standing and stepping.

You get the drift.

It can feel confronting to observe yourself talking negatively to and about yourself. It’s likely to feel very uncomfortable within your body. And your confidence may feel dented when you recognise how often you’re repeating the negativity.

Never fear, not all is lost. In my two decades of therapeutic experience, try actions that break the circuit or interrupt the unwanted pattern. Rather than have to revisit an old painful memory, or recreate an unwanted behaviour, you can allow yourself to observe the negative language which triggers the survival reaction.

Try a circuit breaker today!

Is today the day you use the phrase “cancel that” as a circuit breaker to intrusive negative thoughts? So often your internal language is not as positive as you intend. Those negative statements seep into your everyday language until those words become the natural and accepted dialogue that you use to describe yourself.

It starts with statements like these:

❌ I’m too tired

❌ I can’t be bothered

❌ I’ll start tomorrow

❌ I’m too busy

❌ It’s not the right time

❌ I’m not ready

❌ I’m afraid

❌ I’m not sure

❌ But what if …

❌ I’m not good enough

I call bullshit on it all. It’s these in-the-moment statements that we say flippantly without first pausing and leaning into how we’re feeling. We just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, and wham, you’re body and brain respond.

Sometimes you just need a breather, and then get back on the horse with what you were doing, rather than running the survival reaction.

When you catch yourself saying “Cancel that”, you are negating the energy of the negative statement and putting your brain on notice that you can make space for neutral or even better, more positive in your life.

Fair warning — when you first start using this circuit breaker, you can very easily feel overwhelmed with how often you start to say “Cancel that”. But remind yourself of the fact that we can upwards of 60,000 thoughts a day. It shocks my clients when I advise that approximately seventy-five per cent (75%) of those thoughts are negative! And of those thoughts that are negative, ninety-five per cent (95%) of them are simply repeated from yesterday.

So creating change for tomorrow starts with canceling garbage thoughts today! The more you cancel out, the less you repeat tomorrow, and the weaker the emotional energy is to repeat them. It’s also interesting that when you are in a more positive-framed mindset, you feel better (because there is less cortisol being secreted).

You recuperate faster.

You experience less pain.

You change faster.

You get to the best version of you! And you are so worth it!

Conclusion

You too can attempt this simple circuit breaker as often as you dare. I invite you to become curious the next time your life becomes a roller coaster of negative thoughts.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

  • Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here
  • 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here
  • Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

Prefer to listen to a podcast?

Karen has a free public podcast channel entitled “I Am Changeing” that stores resources for clients.

Click here for this episode.

First published with WORD GARDEN, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is an advanced Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, Hypnotherapist (including psychotherapy), Resource Therapist (Ego State), Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and trainee Counselor (Mental Health).

Karen is a published author of This Is My Roar.

She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland