The Most Profound Question To Ask Yourself

The Most Profound Question To Ask Yourself

by | Feb 1, 2026 | Self Development

What Can I Give Myself That No One Else Did?

There’s been an energetic theme this year that has delivered a spiritual and radical transformative change. Did you experience all the feels?

I know, it’s felt big throughout the entire 2025. Wave after wave of shifting vibrational space, drama and old krud surfacing.

I’ve likened those heavy sensations to being bumped around inside a washing machine. It was not comfortable, and I know I’m not alone. My clinical clients have been telling me they have been feeling it too.

There’s something significant I share with clients to bridge the gap between clinical appointments. This is your invitation to journal.

I recognise there are times when it feels overwhelming to sit and feel the sensations of unexpressed emotions. It can, therefore, feel impossible to speak about what you’re feeling. Sometimes there are no words, but the sensations remain.

When this heaviness resides within, journaling can allow your body to express what you’ve been holding onto. It’s a fabulous form of expression to stop those thoughts swirling around your everyday mind.

There can be occasions when you open your journal, and the intensity of

If you deserve to feel pain, you deserve to unpack it. It’s that simple. Life is meant to be lived, not just survived.

When you’re always in survival mode, there’s no space for growth, evolution or recalibration. When you’re in a state of survival, there is zero space or capacity for healing.

What if I could permit you to look at your pain in a different way?

What part of you hasn’t healed because you’ve been too busy surviving to get to tomorrow?

I was physically and emotionally challenged last year. I found myself journaling one day to gain self-awareness about the situation.

So when life hits you a good one, upside of the head, if you don’t cry or don’t do something different, your reactive response is to unconsciously seek a way forward.

You haven’t dealt with the life slap, you have just reacted to it.

So here’s your permission to acknowledge the slaps and parts of you that haven’t healed. It’s time to process and learn so that when tomorrow arrives, you will have naturally evolved and recalibrated change within your nervous system.

Here’s your permission to parent yourself.

I wonder where you might start the healing process?

Will you give yourself permission to soften?

Permission to be vulnerable? To cry? To feel?

Will you permit yourself to sit in the sensations until they pass?

Could you write about that, as if writing a love letter to your inner self holding the wounds?

I wonder what that part that has been trying to survive all these years needs to feel safe? I wonder what it feels like to release the need to survive? Write the answer in your journal.

This is what you then discuss in therapy.

This is how you bridge the gaps between therapeutic sessions with your practitioner.

This is how you dig deep.

This is how you heal.

So what might stop you from leaning into the answer of the question — what did I need, but never got?

Then ask yourself the most profound question of all — Can I now give this to myself?

Conclusion

Asking simple yet profound questions builds a relationship with yourself. Be prepared to be surprised at how simple the answers might be as you gift yourself the missing links!

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Behavioural Change Facilitator — Mental Health Counsellor, Kinesiology Practitioner + Business Mentor, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Wellness Coach, and Clinical Resource Therapist. She is a published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic and loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

Alignment is the new coaching tip

Alignment is the new coaching tip

by | Dec 30, 2025 | Self Development

Recovery from cancer is never-ending. It’s not spoken about much, and I think that is because cancer is a tough topic to discuss safely. There’s a societal expectation that once treatment is over, you can go back to the status quo.

Everyone expects you to return to normal.

The reality is that normal no longer exists.

The experience of cancer teaches you the lesson of change, that we grow and evolve. The lesson reminds us that we never remain the same.

The experience of cancer teaches the patient the importance of regularly tuning up their physical body to ensure optimal functionality. However, when you pair recovery from oncology treatment(s) with menopause changes within your mind and body, big changes are required.

Those changes aren’t just physical; you need a different mindset.

Why?

Your chemistry changes with age. Your capacity to detoxify, oxygenate, and energise cells changes over time. As you can imagine, your body’s chemistry is bombarded during oncology treatment — and it can take years to recover.

Therefore, trying to re-align to former behaviours and patterns from before a cancer experience is impossible — and sets you up to fail dismally.

Gone are the days when I can push my body beyond the fatigue signals. Oncology treatment ensured that I’m left with finite energy levels every day. That took a while for me to wrap my head around.

For someone who is neurodiverse, the concept that something is blocking me from being able to function with 50 mental browsers open, or juggle six things at once, was unfathomable.

I’d spent nearly four decades literally on the go and unable to sit still. Oncology treatment instigated the arrival of menopause, and it felt like I had joined a world wrestling match without training or preparation.

I got slammed.

To feel sane, I had to address the loss of expectation that I would recover to who I was before I was diagnosed. I had to say goodbye to the old me.

This translates to the fact that I could no longer coach myself through hard days. If I’m honest, I couldn’t coach myself through easy days either.

My level of fatigue was so extreme that I couldn’t talk myself into a positive mental place. I could no longer push for more or dig deep. I couldn’t recite affirmations to get myself through the mental fog.

I felt stuck in mud up to my shoulders.

This was a physical stress merged with mental thoughts and emotional behaviours. I felt the fullness of that stress vibrationally. Coaching no longer worked. Gone were the days when I could give myself a stern talking to.

I had to feel into a new alignment.

Menopause has gifted me an enormous awareness of how much oestrogen padded me out, and buffered me from a case of the ‘can’t be f*cked’.

On the other side of the cancer experience, I find myself in a place called nowhere. It’s liminal in nature, where space and time have little relevance. v

I have grown tired of making plans I can’t sustain. I have arrived at a mature awareness that I’m both neurodiverse and menopausal. This translates to — my hormones no longer masking my neuro-spiceyness!

I’m now a fully fledged ‘Karen’.

I try to keep her happy and lean into life, rather than coach my way through it.

I can no longer push myself to function without observing the emotional space of that moment, and actively listening to what my body needs or is capable of.

I was tired of always trying to do more, and now relish the stillness.

I was tired of the grinding and pushing. Just thinking about anything associated with ‘have to’ feels uncomfortable.

These days, I connect with what feels right. I align with the bodily sensations of feeling good. It’s a full-time job some days to take good care of myself.

I treat myself with kindness, not coaching. Coaching infers pushing, alignment invites stillness and recuperation.

And the truth is … I am not alone.

My clients tell me similar menopause transition stories, too. In fact, I hear these stories all the time from my clients. The mature women express their frustration at the expectations placed upon them, and the mature man doesn’t understand why he is now feeling disconnected from his partner.

Menopause is a kicker of asses.

The decline of oestrogen teaches women that our energy changes daily. We can’t pretend to perform and repeat a ‘big day’ every day. We simply aren’t designed that way.

Therefore, we must release the rigidity of fixed routines and lean into the toolbox on a daily basis. Try asking yourself, “What do I need right now/today?” Allow the answer or action to arise.

Sometimes the most important thing a menopausal woman can do is just breathe and practice stillness. After all, during menopause, scientific research shows us that a woman rewires her entire brain.

Is it any wonder our thinking becomes foggy, and our memory lags? You can’t perform like a thirty-year-old circus monkey anymore. It’s time to use your wisdom gained and lean into what you need, rather than who you can prove yourself to.

Menopause is a rewiring of puberty. You get to psychologically revisit any unresolved emotional trauma from your teen years. Have fun with that!

Menopause isn’t a time for more coaching-style discipline. You’re being called to incorporate more awareness and observations, and less doing.

By all means, use the coaching structures work, like waking and honouring your body in some way before breakfast. This pays homage to the energetic alignment you desire for the day. This will create your mood and outlook.

As you move each morning purposefully, do whatever is required to plan your day with clarity of what feels good. Eliminate the pressure or plan for success wherever possible. Plan kindness into your schedule. The version of you falling into bed exhausted won’t thank you for adding more to the list of things to accomplish. In fact, she’ll be a snarky bitch.

The menopausal woman wants to feel alive, purposeful, and aligned… without that crispy, singed, burnout sensation. What if there was a way each day to authentically connect to your heart, and let that lead you throughout the day?

What if leaning into the sensations of your body gave you permission to be gentler with yourself and your schedule?

Would your approach to life direct a shift or a slower and more consistent momentum of achievement?

Conclusion

Might alignment be the way of understanding your energy instead of pulling you out of yourself into exhaustion?

I have learnt to stop fighting my inner wisdom — it took me years of experience to get it, so why wouldn’t I use it for myself? Because here’s the thing, when I stopped forcing myself into coaching programs and systems that didn’t match me, things started falling into place:

I began to understand what I needed.
My clarity of what tools I needed to use returned.
My energy has slowly reignited with fire.
I am back in flow state.

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. Click here to read published article.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Behavioural Change Facilitator — Mental Health Counsellor, Kinesiology Practitioner + Business Mentor, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Wellness Coach, and Clinical Resource Therapist. She is a published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic and loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

I feel like I’ve tried everything

I feel like I’ve tried everything

by | Oct 21, 2025 | Self Development

Is this statement the biggest miss?

Whenever I hear a client tell me that they perceive they “have tried everything”, I know they’ve missed the most obvious thing. In fact, I wish I had a dollar for every single time I heard this phrase about someone on their healing journey.

Clients often boast of the list of things they’ve done to resolve their issue. They’ve set goals, created vision boards, put reminders in their phones, changed their routines, sampled every single diet known to mankind, taken expensive supplements and tried various therapies.

Their lists are expansive and exhaustive.

After twenty years of running a therapeutic space, I have one thing that my clients haven’t tried — reviewing their perception of themselves. Your self-image is critical to any change process.

So often, we look outside of ourselves to problem-solve something that is actually an internal issue. Your thoughts, feelings, and subsequent behaviours come from within you — these emotional aspects are a part of you.

You can’t cut that part out of you, nor can you stop it by pushing a button, taking a tablet or drinking a potion. You can however, learn to accept and hopefully love these emotional parts of yourself.

I ask clients (who have ‘tried everything’), what their worst perception is of themselves — I am treated with a stunned look or blank face. Sometimes I wish I had a camera to capture their reaction, because it’s so dramatic.

If the person is brave enough, they will admit their negative self-beliefs. These deep and dark confessions sound like –

  • not good enough
  • hopeless
  • unworthy

It’s word vomit like this that dissolved your positive foundation. I use the metaphor “think of your body as a house”. When you have strong positive beliefs, the foundation of your house is solid and grounded. But when you experience thoughts and feelings that are negative, you’ve got termites.

Negative self-beliefs eat away at your confidence —using the metaphor, negativity destabilises your walls and roof, letting in the outside weather. Imagine looking at a termite-infested house, with rotting walls and holes in the roof.

Go on, imagine that right now.

Imagine trying to relax or get warm during a storm, with the rain and wind gusting through all those holes. Imagine how uncomfortable you’d become.

This is what happens to your body when your belief in self becomes negative. When you continue with negative self-beliefs you erode your inner world-

  • your outlook on life
  • your willingness
  • your motivation
  • your boundaries (especially with how you allow others to treat you)
  • how you show up to the world

To stabilise your emotional foundations, I use a combination of modalities and tools to support my clients in defusing the negative emotional energy associated with their lowered self-belief.

Try my H.E.A.L. method – Four simple steps to guide you inwards and find your solution for healing

 My H.E.A.L. Method is a simplistic approach designed to guide individuals through their healing process that is both intuitive and effective. By following these four steps, you can facilitate your own personal growth to restore positive belief in self.

STEP ONE — H: Hear

The first step is to hear what you are saying. This involves listening deeply to the language you use about yourself. 

Emotional negativity is comprised of thoughts, feelings and behaviours (because they can’t be separated). There is power of choice when you explore what you are feeling, what you think when you feel those thoughts, and what your resultant behaviour becomes.

Your ability to ‘hear’ gives you a conscious awareness of your triggers.

STEP TWO — E: Evaluate

So you’ve started listening attentively. Your next step is to evaluate the emotion you become aware of. This will often be associated with those thoughts and feelings you’ve become stuck within. Gentle exploration of what activates your old pattern of negativity invites you to make different choices of what you may need to accept and even release.

Evaluating your own signals from your body and mind can be empowering. You’ll very quickly be able to identify people, places or situations that push all your buttons and cause the negative flag to fly.

It’s critical during this phase to be really kind to yourself — because we all have experiences of big feelings, patterns, triggers, and areas that need attention. 

STEP THREE — A: Adjust

Once you have gained a clear understanding of what and how your negative self-belief likes to dance, it’s time to adjust. You can choose to make a myriad of changes to your lifestyle, mindset, or environment that support your healing journey. 

The best part of this step is giving yourself permission to pause once you’ve recognised your old pattern has been reactivated, and make a choice to change. This could involve setting boundaries, adopting new habits, or seeking support from professionals.

When you work with me, know that we don’t knock down your walls, we don’t destroy, we explore and adjust. We use kindness to repair and rejuvenate your nervous system so it feels safe to make those adjustments.

Sometimes you install windows within your walls, unlock doors, or install a ladder to climb over the obstacles you’ve built yourself.  At each session we renovate your house to allow more light to shine from within, and for you to access your true inner essence. This is high vibration at work.

STEP FOUR — L: Liberate

The final step is to liberate yourself from the constraints of past pains and patterns. Embrace the freedom that comes from hearing, evaluating and adjusting to achieve your desired healing outcome. 

Liberation from old negativity incorporates celebrating all progress (no matter how small the step is) and continuing to nurture your well-being. What could be better to create meaningful change in your life than to maintain this new, healthy emotional state to balance your life?

Liberation often comes via homework, which gives you the opportunity to reconnect to the path that shines your light, over and over until it becomes subconscious muscle memory.

Conclusion

Following the H.E.A.L. Method is a process. You drive the speed at which you progress and create meaningful change in your life. By implementing the H.E.A.L steps, individuals can embark on a transformative journey towards healing and personal development.

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Mental Health Counsellor, Kinesiology Practitioner + Accredited Business Mentor, Wellbeing Coach, Meditation Facilitator,  Hypnotherapist, and Resource Therapist. Karen is also a published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

Best Club In Town

Best Club In Town

by | Aug 16, 2025 | Self Development

We Do Not Care Club

I work really hard at attempting to not troll mindlessly through social media. But there are days that feel “ho hum” and even a lot “meh”. It was one of those days that I stumbled across a hilarious reel by Melani Sanders.

Melani is the founder of the “We Do Not Care Club”. Sounds ridiculous, I know, but she paraphrases all the crap women of that certain age are fed up with. I showed it to my husband, and he exclaimed that, whilst funny, it’s a public announcement that might save your life!

Melani is a 45-year-old mother of three in West Palm Beach, Florida. She’s probably like other working mothers experiencing the change; she’s fed up and needs a good laugh.

According to Dr. Yvette Alt Miller, “the We Do Not Care Club is a viral movement helping women ditch unrealistic expectations and focus on what matters in maturing women’s lives.” And she’s right.

Women of a certain age have had these crappy BS influencers, social standards and medical system gaslighting up to their eyeballs! Women of a certain age is a triggering statement in itself. So let’s get it all out on the table, folks, I’m talking about women experiencing peri-menopause and menopause. I’m talking about how a woman can lose herself as the oestrogen drops and the social influencers get louder and more prominent.

This is a time of our lives when we become cranky and less tolerant of those we love the most. This is attributed to the drop in hormones that allowed us to fall in love and make babies, and put up with a myriad of crap to remain married. Those hormones kept us tolerant of your stupidity, whining, outbursts, and demands on our time, energy, and mental capacity.

Can you tell I’m already a club member!

Yet as those same hormones that helped us love you dwindle, so too does our capacity to tolerate things that frustrated or upset us. As the last of our viable eggs is released, and the hormonal balance flutters, we start missing periods, or worse, experience flooding periods. We feel like we’re on fire from the inside out. We steam and sweat when outside and it’s cold outside.

In my own experience, I swear more, and I don’t care! (That should read I don’t give a f*ck).

The pause makes us feel different within ourselves. Without oestrogen lubricating our joints, tendons, and organs, things change drastically. This change isn’t subtle. We begin to digest differently — physically, mentally and emotionally. Even our brain rewires during this phase.

Estrogen is in everything. We begin to experience a depth of fatigue. Women’s memory glitches. We can so easily feel like we’re going crazy.

Is it any wonder we transform into Oscar the Grouch?

It’s called ‘the change’ for a very good reason.

Whilst there are physical changes, and the medical industry is just starting to recognise that gaslighting women that their life-altering symptoms are not normal and can be assisted. Frankly, I don’t know how some doctors have kept their jobs.

There are emotional and mental changes that occur due to the loss of estrogen within the brain and neural pathways. Know that there are positive actions you can undertake to support your evolving neuroplasticity, but it takes time.

Imagine, if you will, that estrogen is the conductor of a grand symphony, orchestrating a harmonious balance within the body, especially during fertile years. When that time of change arrives, that same conductor abruptly decides to take a permanent vacation to a tropical island. The conductor is a bit of a bastard and takes the sheet music too. This leaves behind a cacophony of violins playing out of tune and trumpets blaring at random intervals.

With estrogen on its sabbatical, women may find themselves in a whirlwind of emotions — sometimes cranky, sometimes tearful, and for some, it can be the source of serious mental health problems, especially if their memory is affected.

What most don’t understand about the neuroscience of menopause is that the brain literally rewires itself to function without estrogen. If we could take a sabbatical, like estrogen, then we might fare better.

“We do not care if our clothes are tight — they fit when we bought them,” Melani stated matter-of-factly, with her deadpan face. It’s stuff like this that makes me laugh hard at my evolving hormonal situation. It’s refreshing to know I’m not alone.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that is jammed packed with messages of being skinny and ageless. We are meant to change, not remain the Stepford wives. Yet we sacrifice our joy to achieve something that’s not often humanly normal. And then we punish ourselves emotionally and mentally for not achieving the desired plastic fake outcome.

“We do not care that we just went grocery shopping and we’re ordering takeout instead of cooking — we are tired.” Have tears rolling down my face with her brutal honesty.

The fatigue and weight gain from menopause have personally stopped me in my tracks. And I’ve tried everything to create change in this space. Where I landed was “I am the heaviest and happiest I have ever been — and I do not care”.

Latest research indicates that once ovaries stop manufacturing estrogen, it’s generated by fat cells. So I don’t care that my body has adapted, I am an evolving ecosystem!

“We do not care if your house is aesthetic — our house is a hot mess and we’re ok with that.” God bless you, Melani. This satire will inspire thousands globally to ditch unrealistic societal expectations, to find joy in their lives. And perhaps a nap.

Dr. Miller discusses the risk of feeling inadequate or even depression when we fixate or obsess over our perceived shortcomings. In this menopause phase of heat glitching, sweating, not sleeping properly, and swearing, I am routinely reframing my thoughts. This permits me to let go of unreasonable expectations from others.

“We do not care if we have fingerprints on our glasses — we can still see.” Melani, I love you! Your dry humour is hilarious.

The We Do Not Care Club is thankfully taking off. I can only hope that it generates a viral movement of women walking away from the mental to-do list. My wish is that this club allows women to declare that there are more important things in life than how tidy your home is or how put-together you look. Ladies, if you showered and put on pants before leaving the house each day during this phase, you’re winning.

Conclusion

Thanks to Melani Sanders for entertaining me. You’ve provided me with real content that reminds me not to sweat the small stuff. Thank you for keeping it real. Thank you for creating space for hundreds and thousands of women to have a reality check on what’s important in their lives as they evolve through their change phase.

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Mental Health Counsellor, Kinesiology Practitioner + Accredited Business Mentor, Wellbeing Coach, Meditation Facilitator,  Hypnotherapist, and Resource Therapist. Karen is also a published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

It’s Not Rude To Sigh

It’s Not Rude To Sigh

by | Jul 9, 2025 | Self Development

It’s Not Rude To Sigh – It Could Save Your Life!

As a kid, I was always scolded by the adults around me for sighing. So I did it more to piss them off.

It’s clear to me now that my ASD defiance traits, but back then, it was one of the few ways I could express myself when I couldn’t find words when I felt frustrated or angry. Struggling to express myself when feeling heightened was a common thing — it often is for neurodiverse kids.

Through a bit of research and review of my clinical notes, I’ve come to understand that sighing is beneficial for several reasons.

Benefit One — An unconscious sigh is a life-sustaining reflex that helps preserve lung function.

 

A sigh is a deep breath, but not a voluntary deep breath. Think about this — the sigh starts as a normal breath, but before you exhale, you take a second breath on top of it.

The involuntary sigh boosts the lungs’ ability to exchange oxygen and carbon dioxide. In turn, this boosts the function of the alveoli, the air sacs where the gas exchange occurs. The only way to pop them open again is to sigh, which brings in twice the volume of a normal breath.

Therefore, sighing is brilliant if you are a notorious shallow breather, like someone who is anxious or experiencing lung dysfunction.

Benefit Two — Regulation of body function

 

We breathe in air, a mixture of gases, to promote oxygen exchange into the body. The rhythm and frequency of your breathing are modulated by more than one part of the brain.

When our blood gas chemistry is balanced, then our organ systems, such as filtration within the kidneys, and blood pressure and heart rate respond accordingly. When there is balance in our chemistry, our nervous system receives the ‘balance’ signal that all is well in our world.

For example

  • The forebrain (cortex, hypothalamus, and amygdala) regulates our breathing during exercise
  • afferent pathways of regions within the forebrain, regulate the ancillary muscles of the diaphragm, tongue, larynx, pharynx, chest, glotis, and postural support muscles to allow breathing mechanisms to synchronise and function normally , for example, talking whilst walking
  • The mid-brain regulates the exchange of gases such as oxygen and carbon dioxide , and it’s worth noting there is a flow-on effect to blood pressure and the function of organs like the heart and kidneys. Additionally, the midbrain regulates any changes within breathing, to respond to fluctuations of internal and external temperatures, as well as sleep cycles.
  • The brain stem regulates changes to breathing based on cognition and emotional responses.

I know boring brain stuff (which I love). Your breath is therefore influenced and overridden when your sympathetic nervous system is activated- when you’re in a state of fight-or-flight.

According to Mark Krasnow, a professor of biochemistry at the Stanford University School of Medicine, his findings shed light on a network of cells in the brain stem that generates the breathing rhythm. Krasnow states that along each side of the brain stem, two networks of 200 neurons control the sighing reflex.

“Unlike a pacemaker that regulates only how fast we breathe, the brain’s breathing centre also controls the type of breath we take,” Krasnow said. The sighing reflex is therefore comprised of small numbers of different kinds of neurons , each with their stimuli that activate different types of breathing. One area of neurons programs regular breaths, another sighs, and the others could be for yawns, sniffs, coughs, and maybe even laughs and cries.

“Sighing appears to be regulated by the fewest number of neurons we have seen linked to a fundamental human behaviour,” explained Jack Feldman, a professor of neurobiology at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA

Benefit Three — Possible Reduction of Anxiety

 

UCLA Neurobiologist, Jack Feldman states that “A sigh is a deep breath, but not a voluntary deep breath.” Feldman continues, “It starts out as a normal breath, but before you exhale, you take a second breath on top of it.”

On average, a person sighs every five minutes, which translates into 12 sighs per hour.

A person with conditions like panic disorder, anxiety, and hypervigilance is dominated by their over-active sympathetic nervous system. These types of conditions cause people to tend to shallowly breathe, and not deeply inflate the lungs or stretch the diaphragm. Therefore introduction of breath work can improve a client’s limited or reduced sighing reflex.

Therefore, consciously improving the capacity of your breathing could prove useful in healing your experience of anxiety disorders and other psychiatric conditions where sighing grows debilitating.

Benefit Four — Emotional Regulation

The mechanism behind the emotional roots of conscious sighing remains a mystery to Western medicine researchers. Feldman acknowledges, “There is certainly a component of sighing that relates to an emotional state. When you are stressed, for example, you sigh more.”

Within eastern modalities, we know that the sigh is a nonverbal form of release. Sighing is a process of letting go, releasing that which no longer resonates with your emotional state. The sigh is the physical method of venting some mental or emotional stress out of the body.

Kinesiology and meditation models both depict the deep sigh as the physical and mechanical mechanism that attempts to override the sympathetic nervous system dominance. When you add the sound of your voice to your sigh, you’re adding your own unique internal vibration, which acts as a medicinal frequency to the emotional component you are releasing into the air.

The Heart Math Institute and research undertaken by Dr Joe Dispenza clearly illustrate that a deep sigh, which is longer than the inward breath, downregulates the vagus nerve, downregulates the sympathetic fight-or-flight reaction, which in turn, has a consequential positive effect on the enteric nervous system.

In other words, the sigh has a deeply soothing effect on the nervous system. A sigh is surprisingly simple, and allows you to bypass your conscious brain altogether — a natural form of regulation for the emotional self.

Conclusion

 

It’s not rude to sigh; in fact, it’s essential to regulate yourself emotionally. You can calm your nervous system immediately with a sigh. Here’s the formula : Two inhales, followed by an extended exhale.

First published with WordGarden, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

If your IMPOSTER self is running your life and training like an Olympian, then maybe it’s time to show it some kindness?

Did you know I run a one day retreat? I’ve created an experience that allows you to meet your Imposter and call forward an internal cheerleader – so that you can soothe the fear of failure or imperfection, overthinking, or need for control.

We are all deserving of unconditional love and kindness – just for being born. We also deserve to ackowledge our internal imposter doesn’t need to run our life!

Prefer audio – visit the I am Change-ing podcast!

Click here for the episode

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

Stop Fighting Your Imposter

Stop Fighting Your Imposter

by | Jun 10, 2025 | Self Development

Try loving this part of yourself instead.

When I started exploring this topic with a client, I gained an understanding that the common societal belief is that Imposter Syndrome is a silent saboteur of success and mental well-being. In my therapeutic experience, this is not true.

I have reflected, read textbooks, and consulted peers. My mindset landed at the following — that your imposter is ‘part’ of you that drives your personality’s natural defences.

We all have an imposter part.

So often we resent this part without understanding its function — this part of you is trying to keep you safe.

Your IMPOSTER incorporates those parts that involve self-doubt, fear of failure, perfectionism, discounting praise, and even overworking.

But here’s the thing, if you allow it, your imposter can run wild and keep those defensive walls up high. Your neurological wiring drives the subconscious defensive battle. This requires a lot of your energy (both physical and mental) to maintain hyper-vigilance, intended to keep you safe.

The investment in regularly activating your defensive walls can erode your resilience and motivation. If this is you, then it’s likely that your confidence bubble bursts before you get to fully embrace complete success sensations.

Feeling safe to actively work on your life challenges and roadblocks teaches you how to get out of your own way in terms of avoidance and procrastination.

Let me ask you this, have you struggled to achieve all that you want?

Do you have a nagging internal voice that whispers, “You’re not good enough.” Let me assure you of a common truth: you are enough, and it’s time to believe it.

In my experience, you can wrestle with your imposter part your entire life. Eventually, you will resent it, dread it and perhaps even fear it showing up. When this happens, your conscious mind is doing battle rather than paying attention to the key messages your imposter is trying to share with you.

I realise that until we learn to embrace the imposter part, we will never achieve the true success and outcomes we desire.

I recommend meeting your imposter with kindness and an open mind. The more I expand into the mental space of the imposter, the more I have come to realise the importance of learning to love your imposter as an asset.

Your imposter self will guide you on arising fears and doubts — so that you can take action.

Your imposter self will make you feel tired or overwhelmed, and therefore signal the need for rest.

Your imposter self will drive overthinking until you write yourself a list of things to do, and can tell yourself “that’s ok” when you don’t complete it.

Here are five strategies to embrace your imposter with kindness

1. Acknowledge Your Thoughts & Feelings

It’s vital for you to recognize that your thoughts are common, fast paced, and temporary. Yet, we so easily can become unstuck when those feelings are not acknowledged and become stuck. We tip into the overwhelm or overthinking space in an effort to make sense of something, that if it had of been acknowledged, it would have continued to flow out of your mind.

We have up to 60,000 thoughts a day, of which around 75% are negative and of that around 90% of those are from yesterday. The more you can acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, even if only calling out ‘garbage thoughts’, the less you propel forward to tomorrow.

2. Celebrate Achievements

Stop taking for granted all of the small wins. Your Imposter keeps score and is watching, always on alert. So if you can call forward your cheerleader to acknowledge every little win. Every small hit of dopamine keeps your mindset positive, which boosts your motivation to continue moving forward.

Therefore keep a record of your successes and reflect on them regularly. This may be journalling or simply tracking colouring, as suggested by Russ Harris in his published work “The Happiness Trap”.

3. Talk About Progress & Success

I don’t know about you, but my profession requires that I undertake supervision. I also choose to participate in coaching and networking circles.

These groups allow me to share my feelings with trusted colleagues, friends or mentors. Often this is a safe space for me to gain fresh perspectives, especially if I feel stuck.

4. Challenge Negative Thoughts

When you permit yourself to recognise the Imposter speech, those negative thoughts and feelings, you can acknowledge them for what they are — garbage.

Replace fear of failure, self-doubt, or even overthinking with neutral or positive language and action boosts your capacity to remain competent during times of stress.

You can challenge negativity with journalling, affirmations, tapping or even breathwork.

5. Set Realistic Goals

Let me ask you this — do you believe you will ever finish your ‘to-do’ list? The realistic answer is that there is always something to do. We will always need to eat, do dishes, bathe and wash clothes.

When it comes to your work or study, are your action lists achievable? Have you broken tasks into manageable parts that allow you to recognise your progress along the way? Or does your Imposter part appear and you procrastinate because the task feels enormous or unachievable?

Conclusion

We all have a part of our psychology called our Imposter. It’s not a syndrome but merely a defensive mechanism to keep you safe and secure. It shows up with a truckload of perceived negativity. And I wonder what might change for you if you could pause the stress reaction, and treat your Imposter with kindness.

I wonder what might change for you?

If your IMPOSTER self is running your life and training like an Olympian, then maybe it’s time to show it some kindness?

Did you know I run a one day retreat? I’ve created an experience that allows you to meet your Imposter and call forward an internal cheerleader – so that you can soothe the fear of failure or imperfection, overthinking, or need for control.

We are all deserving of unconditional love and kindness – just for being born. We also deserve to acknowledge our internal imposter doesn’t need to run our life!

Prefer audio – visit the I am Change-ing podcast!

Click here for the episode

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Mental Health Counselor, Resource Therapist, and published author.  She is a Change Facilitator!

Karen is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland