Unless you wear someone else’s underpants, you have no idea what obstacles another person faces. By this, I mean that unless you have their genetic inherited patterns, their parents, their siblings, their environmental experiences, their partner and children – you have no idea of what is going on inside their head or in their world.

To take this another step further, you are only seeing a reflection of yourself, to be either grateful for or to learn. At the end of the day, it’s all your stuff still! Weird right?! So when you compare, you’re running a regular self behavioural pattern and reinforcing things like:

  • I’m not good enough
  • Things never work out for me
  • I can’t have
  • I wish I was someone else

and guess what, these thoughts, feelings and mindset are literally becoming your order to the universe – so you continue to manifest them! So if you continue these types of thought processes and associated beliefs you might as well change your name to NEGATIVE NANCY!

Don’t freak out! Take a breath. We can change all of this with some simple tips listed below.

1. Breathe. Focusing on breath allows you to reconnect to your feelings.

 I feel good = I am on my path.

When we focus on ourselves, our journey, our emotional juice we can ‘check’ in with our emotional barometer and feel whether we’re on track.

Taking a breath enables you to pause the monkey chatter occurring inside your head, and check in with the “feels”. Break the crazy chatter loop!

2. Investment in drama of others means you avoid your own thoughts and feelings. This means you are de-valuing yourself. It means you no longer put yourself first, and prioritise others over you. You are literally sacrificing yourself and making someone else’s stuff, a highlight in your life.

When you think of it in those terms, it’s very confronting isn’t it?

Take some time to step back, create space from the trigger event or person and allow yourself some space to gain true clarity of the reality of the situation. Instead of saying “no” to a catchup or confrontation respond with “can I get back to your after I checked my diary?” This one response buys you a little time to cool down and bring your focus back to you!

3. Disconnection from our feelings turns on the negative self-pattern. And by negative patterns, I mean running a repeat loop inside your head. This is where logic jumps out of the window and you run the most ridiculous think about EVERYTHING and over analyse situations. It’s where you overthink, and stop connecting to your strengths of ability to overcome a particular person or situation.

Journalling is a fabulous strategy to offload the stuff running loops inside your head. As you write all those crappy thoughts onto paper, you lighten the load. Your body can literally feel itself slowing down. You then can get into a space whereby your conscious mind can ask – is what I am feeling actually true or is it all just a misperception based on my own patterns of experience?

4. Switch back on / Rest your Neurology. There’s a number of ways to turn off your sympathetic nervous system. But when we’re busy being Negative Nancy, or worse having anxiety, it’s hard to find our logic – because it jumped out of the window and is riding down the street on a white unicorn!  Literally tap the side of your hip with an open hand, not hard, and state clearly “SWITCH ON”.

By doing this, you’re telling your parasympathetic nervous system to activate resources to enable you to digest life. This means you have to calm your farm!

5. Utilise the coaching questions to help break the monkey chatter cycle in your head. When you realise you’re not in control, you’re giving yourself permission to cease the negative mental habit and go look for a solution.

When you choose to shelf your feelings, you’re opening up the possibility to change from negative mindset into positive.

When you choose to change your perception, you immediately turn off flight/fight response, take a breath and go look outside the box for the answer you are seeking. Generally speaking, sometimes what we immediately need is to take a deep breath and remind ourselves, we’re ok!

6. Facilitated Change sessions – whereby we use kinesiology and wellness coaching support the client to defuse comparison stress, together with removing the associated behavioural patterns. This then allows the client’s body to restore balance between the thoughts and feelings.

Once we’re balanced we can then walk our journey path with clarity. We can embrace our passions without fear of failure or comparison of how others are doing it. We can shine our light to the world.



Remember you can choose to change and bloom from within as your practice your perfection!