I have been asked all week what I will be doing for ‘Mother’s day’? And I responded to everyone with the same response, “what I do every day!!!!”
I celebrate how bloody lucky I am!
For me, the special and poignant times have including carrying a pregnancy to almost full term, after having so many failed and miscarried experiences. I was lucky.
It was beautiful giving birth and that first year of breastfeeding with little sleep. I absolutely celebrate that I had a birthing experience, unlike others who are whisked away to theatre for an emergency caesar. It was magical when my girl was placed on my hot sweaty chest for the first time. Nothing compares.
I cherished all those exhausting moments and lost hours of sleep as something I was able to achieve rather than survive. The first steps. The first words. The evolution of my girl walking and then running, away from me squealing with delight, but always returning to my arms. The hugs are always special, and again I feel lucky.
I’m so lucky compared to others who aren’t privileged enough to hold a live baby. My heart goes to those women who are unable to feel life growing inside them. Or worse have felt that movement, and then it stopped and they birthed an endless sleeping baby. Doesn’t make them any less a mumma in my eyes.
It was heartbreaking having to work and send my girl to daycare but this experience enabled me to embrace the concept of allowing a tribe to raise and care for my girl.
Ever since I can remember my girl has gone with me wherever I have gone. It wasn’t unusual to see us at a goddess gathering, with me participating in a healing circle and my girl curled up on a meditation cushion with her colouring book.
Even a decade later the colouring is more mature and my friends all still huddle around the lunch table colouring with her and exchanging beautiful heart-warming dialogue. She is an amazing soul and just fits in. Again I pinch myself for being so lucky.
Age is no barrier as all my close girlfriends co-share the raising of my child. She has all their numbers on her phone and she has reached out to them in times of need when I was having treatment. For that, I feel so lucky that she trusts my wisdom in who I have introduced into her life as role models.
In sharing the joy of parenting this precious person, I too am gifted with a deepening of these relationships with strong grounded women. They aren’t just friends. They each fulfil a mother and sister like qualities in our relationships. We nurture each other. There is love. There are hugs. There are laughter and tears alike. Again I pinch myself for my luck.
I had tears of pride when my girl received an award last year at school, even though she has a learning challenge she worked her butt off. And so all those months we spent researching and investigating schools has paid off as they also nurture my child in a mother like way. The school is an extension of my circle of trust for my child.
I melt every time she hugs me and I am grateful even with homeschooling when she screeches out “mum I need help“, for I know it won’t be long until she doesn’t need me on a daily basis anymore.
I am grateful for the highs because they far outweigh the lows. She infuses the colour into my life that I never thought imaginable.
It’s days like today that my girl and I will get out one of my departed mum’s recipes and tell Nanny stories. My mum has been gone from the physical plane for over five years now, but we still are connected to her loving presence through photos and quilts, and stories of love.
There may be tears but they always have joy imbedded. You see today is my first mothers day on the other side of my breast cancer diagnosis and treatment.
I simply feel lucky to be here. I feel lucky to feel as strong and vibrant as I am right now when others aren’t.
I am so grateful and take nothing for granted. Every day I can be a parent is a rich gift.
My wish for all mums today, whether you birthed a live child or a sleeping angel, is that your heart expands so greatly with all these memories that it forces your mouth up into an enormous smile that lasts all day.
My wish is you too, belong to a tribe whereby you are nurtured as you mother your children, nieces and nephews, cousins and friends kids.
My wish for you today is you are connected to your heart space and have experienced unconditional love.
Happy mothers day from me to you.