As a working mother, I once found Christmas extraordinarily stressful. Running my own business made this time of year super busy. This was especially true when juggling child care, and festive additional social activities.

That all changed when I underwent surgery for breast cancer. After surgery, many of our family traditions couldn’t be performed physically, and I had to let a lot of things go.

During post-operative recovery, I learned simplicity could be just as good as all the expensive fanfare. The more simplistic I made things, the more I enjoyed the season. My stress levels dropped and I felt better about letting go of that part of myself who felt very grinchy.

I reflect on previous Christmases before all those surgeries, I wish I could tell my younger self some wisdom I’ve gained along the way. I wish I could sit that younger, stressed-out version to enjoy herself more and to shift out the cray-cray from her Christmas.

20 Ways for a Working Mother to Remain Calm During Christmas

1. Practice Mindfulness — Gift yourself a strong start to the day by setting aside a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness or meditation. This will help centre your thoughts and reduce stress. Ideally, your morning meditation connects with what lights you up.

3. Permission to prioritise tasks— I have days where I will smash out all the tiny little things, which leaves me feeling satisfied that I have accomplished something. However, I deeply felt satisfaction when my focus remained on the most important or more difficult task(s).

When I can let go of the need for everything to be perfect or even all of the to-do list to be completed. Letting go allows my creativity to flow. When I am flowing, I am moving forward. It’s okay if everything isn’t achieved in one day. I’m not dying over the pile of dirty laundry.

4. Take Breaks — It’s an obvious suggestion, but if your head is caught up in the to-do list, taking a break can be challenging to implement. Why? If you need to be perfect or do it all, you are running a subliminal good-girl program.

My advice is to include taking a break. It then becomes something you tick off your list! Taking short breaks throughout your day supports you to relax and recharge, whether it’s a walk, a cup of tea, or a quiet moment alone.

7. Stay Connected — When my daughter was younger, our social calendar was jam-packed with events to celebrate the end of the year, a sports season etc. The majority of these events did not involve friends and family. Given that Christmas is meant to be a festive season, as opposed to having to, it’s vital to maintain regular communication with friends and family. Their loving support provides you with a deep-felt sense of comfort and calmness.

8. Keep Physical — During the festive season, you tend to overindulge in calorie-rich foods and more alcohol than normal. This impacts the quality of your sleep, and in turn, your capacity to cope in the days following. Be sure to maintain your exercise routine during the festive season, and if possible beef it up a little to burn those extra calories.

9. Maintain a Healthy Diet —I’m not the food nazi. I’m not saying don not eat all the rich food during the festive season! But I am advocating to eat nutritious foods in balance with the rich delicious stuff. Maintaining a diet that is high in vital nutrition will keep your energy levels balanced and enhance your mood. Have the rich food as an occasional dessert or entree with a side dish of veggies!

10. Practice Gratitude — Refer to Suggestion One and introduce gratitude into your festive traditions. Perhaps instead of saying “grace” each person could take their turn expressing what they were grateful for the day, year etc.

11. Get Adequate Sleep — Refer to Suggestion Two and plan when you have the big nights out so that you can ensure you get enough rest to recover before returning to the routine. A well-rested mind is calmer and more focused, and your resilience remains intact after a good night’s sleep.

12. Limit Technology Use — Blue light has a significant influence on your nervous system and brain. It disturbs your circadian rhythm and acts like a stimulant. Therefore be sure to set boundaries on screen time to avoid stimulation overload.

13. Create a Relaxing Environment — Surround yourself with calming scents, sounds, and sights at home to enhance your tranquillity. This year I’ve been using a stunning blend by Perfect Potion, Essensorie, or my own calm space spray.

14. Focus on Breathing — Many people are significantly triggered emotionally during the festive season. Reconnecting with family tends to bring up unresolved old hurts, feelings and wounds. This can cause you to feel defensive. Use breathing exercises to calm your mind and body when feeling overwhelmed or those big feelings arise.

15. Engage in a Hobby — When you spend time on a hobby or activity that brings you joy, you are defusing any stress you’ve stored within your body. So be sure to do things that make you happy during the festive season so that you’re emotionally charged for social gatherings.

16. Set Realistic Expectations — Refer to Suggestions Two and Three and that pesky to-do list. When you can accept that life does not always go as planned, and that’s perfectly okay. What’s most important, is that you can enjoy each experience as it arises, rather than trying to control everything.

17. Practice Self-Compassion — This tip isn’t limited to Christmas! I wish I had a dollar for every time I advised a client to be kind to themselves. If you’re struggling with this, use reflection tools to recognise your thoughts, feelings, and behavioural reactions, even when things don’t go perfectly.

18. Use Positive Affirmations — Start your day with positive affirmations to boost confidence and reduce anxiety.

19. Simplify Holiday Traditions — Focus on traditions that bring joy and eliminate those that add stress.

20. Practice Pausing — If you find yourself in a stressful moment, especially with others, be sure to practice the pause. By this I mean step out of the triggering situation and get grounded. Learn tools to regulate those uncomfortable arising emotions. The more often you can meet the discomfort, the faster you break down the survival behaviour.

Conclusion

Mumma, my wish for you this Christmas, is you can attempt at least one tip this festive season to pause, fill your cup, and be kind to yourself — so that you too can embrace the joy of the season!

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

• Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here
• 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here
• Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

Listen to the audio version via the “I Am Change-ing” Podcast – click here

First published with WordGarden, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.