When you own your thoughts, behaviours and actions, and then take responsibility, you can consciously acknowledge aspects of self, that frankly, haven’t been working in your life. These are the aspects that the subconscious has been driving you to self sabotage.

Aren’t you tired … of all the bull sh*t? Don’t get me wrong, conscious acknowledgement and owning your stuff takes big hairy balls. But if you want to shift out of that dark hole, you’ve got to be honest with yourself and figure out why you put yourself there in the first place.

I find myself quoting Dr Phil’s famous line of “how’s that working for you?” on a regular basis in my clinical practice. The need to be almost confrontational with the client, in order to break through their defence barriers, which enable them to justify their misperception is often required.

It’s not until the client themselves considers this question and what blame is actually costing or giving them that they realise the depth of the blame pattern and it’s impact on their mindset wobbles. Self blame robs us of logical reasoning.

Blame can anchor negative self perceptions, so that we misperceive and associate negative emotional charge with specific situations or people as part of our behavioural patterning. Furthermore, repeated negative emotional response then triggers the creation of negative emotional habits which rob us of physical energy. It’s this habitual blame habit that then contributes to impacting the motivation mindset because we get stuck in self sabotage.

Once this pattern is repeated, it’s very challenging for the individual to work through on their own. Kinesiology and Wellness Coaching make fantastic modalities for overcoming negative mindsets, negative emotional and mental habits which affect the expression of our values and beliefs.

Sometimes, the best way to commence the journey is taking a breath and being nice to yourself. Consider this next step a gift to self – afterall, who’s going to appreciate it the most? You are! Be honest with yourself when utilising the following questions.

Start with identifying where or what in your life you’d like to change? Ask yourself with a gentle voice and open heart the following questions. You might like to do this in a journal to capture your responses, which may change over time as you evolve on your journey path and feel safer digging deeper.


If you feel the stress or worse, anxiety arising, then simply revert to the coaching questions to remind your logic to return to the situation instead of riding a pink unicorn down the street! Once you’ve calmed yourself, return to the questions above.

Asking yourself these questions with an open heart, and exploring the treasure chest within self can be a cathartic process. Note that if you suffer from symptoms or diagnosed mental illness, this may be a process best undertaken under the supervision of a trained practitioner.

Remember be gentle with self as you explore, what is likely to be an old pattern. It’s ok, you’re not alone. There are plenty of us practitioners here ready to support you being the best version of you. Ready to be your cheerleader until you feel confident enough to do it yourself.

You can choose to change and bloom from within as you practice your perfection xxx