Stop Limiting Yourself In Order To Fit In
When was the last time you squeezed yourself back into a container? I’m not talking about your skinny jeans, although that metaphor is useful.
What I’m talking about is when did you last limit yourself in order to fit in? Whether it be a social situation, a moment of awkward conversation or an experience of conflict.
When did you last dim your light so as not to shine too brightly? Because that kept you safe.
Or god forbid, when did you speak up and outshine the popular girl?
Or perhaps considered worse, when did you last draw attention to yourself?
Thanks to social media, we have become complacent about showing up in their lives.
We crave the tiny bit of dopamine received from the ‘likes’ and numbers on our Instagram accounts, yet we suffer anxiety from ignoring all the signals from our bodies.
It’s so easy to become trapped in the vortex of comparing yourself to others. It’s so easy to ignore that intuitive voice inside you, and simply do what everyone else is doing. It’s easy to make your container smaller.
So where do you limit yourself in order to fit in?
I read an amazing article by Loretta Hart on Linkedin the other day which resonated strongly. She shared a story of coaching a young woman to prepare for a podcast interview.
To encourage this person, Loretta asked the following question- “If you had loads of young women in a room and you could share with them one message what would it be?”.
The young person’s response without hesitation below my mind … “take up space”
These three words got me thinking about how we limit ourselves, and the associated psychology of why we do it.
Our human experience dictates we want to feel safe. We actively seek out love and acceptance within families, friendship circles and even at work. This psychology extends to the entrepreneur, who craves the likes and numbers growing on their business pages.
However, seeking validation outside of ourselves disconnects us from what actually lights us up. This uncoupling from what excites us reduces the size of our container — our heart space.
When we limit this container, we are limiting our capacity to express ourselves. When we don’t express what is felt in the heart, we migrate our energy into our head and become stuck. This is where a negative outlook begins to fester.
Additionally, when we don’t express our feelings, we reduce the energy we can feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of thoughts. This reduces our capacity to focus, concentrate and explore. This is how procrastination via mind-numbing activities begins — like social media or tv.
When we limit our exploration of life and new experiences, we develop an internal sense of agitation. We become anxious. This makes relationships challenging as we’ve reduced our capacity to articulate how we feel and negotiate on our own behalf.
So let me wrap up by asking where you limit yourself in order to fit in with a situation, or do you take up space and honour the magical unicorn you really are? And perhaps more importantly, what is diluted in your life when you reduce the size of your container through your limitation of yourself?
Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic. She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’