Do you look good in orange

Do you look good in orange

Ask yourself this question next time you’re about to lose it

I had a client exclaim in her clinic session the other day that she was ready to kill someone. Namely one of her family members.

Don’t worry. She’s not a serial killer. And I took the opportunity to remind her that losing your shit causes you to wear orange and heavy duty bracelets!

It’s just that her frustration had escalated so significantly and tipped over into a space of unregulated emotion — namely anger and rage.

She had become a volcano head – ready to explode at any moment, fuming and seething with barely contained disdain. She was exactly like a volcano before it erupted, just smoking away frightening the local townsfolk -namely her family. Her emotional state was exceptionally volatile and she felt completely out of control.

There are numerous things that lead us to feel frustrated. Here are some examples:

  • Feeling not heard within a conversation or space
  • expectations not met despite your best planning efforts
  • juggling too many balls in the air at any given time

Frustration is likely to be the top layer of a feeling. There will be more emotion beneath that has not been spoken, expressed, or given air. It’s highly likely that you may not even be consciously aware of all that is festering beneath the surface.

Frustration can have a voice of its own. A voice that rants, raves and yells uncontrollably. A voice that speaks often from a sense of stagnation or helplessness, an inability to make things happen in the way that someone wants.

The vibrational frequency of frustration means that those feelings of unmet expectation can rapidly escalate to anger or rage in the blink of an eye.

Need some tips to release frustration?

Frustration is often a kinetic energy. This means frustration is a moving emotion, and you’re unlikely to be able to sit still with it. Additionally, you are likely to require some movement to shift the sensation of the unwelcome negative-based emotion. Moving your mouth will commence activation of the release, but you are likely to continue to feel frustration deeply within your body.

1. Stay present

When we feel uncertain about something, this can be likened to triggering an unconscious fear. Therefore our human reaction is that we tend to want to control the process or outcome. This is driven by fear of the unknown, uncertainty, or loss of control. It’s an emotion that is based on the future tense.

When you can remain present, you’re not activating the neurological survival program that drives you to start planning all of those contingencies in your head to counteract the undoubted and misperceived doom you’re stressing about.

2. Accept you are human

Our human existence mandates that we are always gathering data from our experiences. Our brain gathers sensory data of what we see, hear and feel. What also happens is that our brain attaches an emotional response to the sensory data, and creates a program.

This allows your brain to simply respond when an experience is repeated without having to recreate the same program. When we re-experience an emotional response, our brain simply reactivates the survival reaction that was originally created.

Why?? Because change is a constant in our lives. Our brain has a wonderful compensation program to reduce the need for reprograming everything, and therefore screen out what it perceives as useless detail.

Change is a gift. A gift to learn more. A gift to evolve. A gift to flow and receive/give more through our life. I am referring to the gift of shifting or relearning the subconscious survival reactions to create positive change in your life.

However, if your expectation is unrealistic — that you want the outcome to be perfect the first time — you’re setting yourself up for heartache. We weren’t born and then ran within hours of birth.

You’re not a horse. You are human.

You must first engage your neural pathways to create patterns and habits, rather than stumble, trip or fall. In turn, this trains the brain muscles to move you into new experiences of attempting to walk in new ways without falling. You learn to step out of your survival reaction, refine your resilience and then move forward metaphorically.

3. Manage Expectations

When you place an unrealistic expectation in relation to that experience you attempt something the first time and there is failure, two things happen. You doubt yourself.

Doubt makes you feel big emotions associated with failure when you don’t meet the expected outcome. You shame yourself subconsciously in relation to not achieving. This can lead to diminished self-worth and a misperception of insecurity. This doubt expands your fear of trying again and failing, rather than simply feeling safe or confident enough to make another attempt to achieve the experience.

4. Acknowledge your beliefs

Think back to when you were younger. Were you raised a winner?

I’m being serious now.

Set the snoopy snigger aside, and reflect on whether you were raised with ‘tough love’ or ‘all participants receive a reward’?

Your response links to the previous point and the potential expectations you developed from childhood about how things should be. Your beliefs and values influence your bias, what you know to be true. These aspects of your psyche also influence your behavioural patterning.

When your perceived expectations are not met, this will generate a negative emotional response. This reaction is often subconscious and not something we can initially control. This reaction reaffirms the fear to be true.

Continually failing to meet expectations can generate bad behaviour within ourselves, and worse, trigger misperceptions in others about who we are. In other words, it can quickly lead to a misperception of feeling, or worse feeling judged.

In this circumstance, before you lose it ask yourself the Byron Katie question in relation to the unrealistic expectation — “Is this real?”

This singular and powerful question allows you to acknowledge that the old reactive belief (based on the survival reaction) may now be outdated or no longer serve you. This acknowledgement allows you to step out of the old non-serving program, and release the negativity of frustration, anger and rage. It allows you to choose a different emotional outlook.

Our old programmed survival reactions drive the negativity of frustration and anger. Ignoring the signals this emotion generates, allows the energy of it to build.

As the frustration escalates, your capacity to remain calm diminishes, because your survival reaction is heightened. This is the mental and emotional tipping point of whether you change the colour of your outfits — can you walk away or do you find yourself reacting and later regretting?


Consider implementing one of the suggested actions should you experience those moments of intense frustration, anger, or rage and don’t want to wear an orange jumpsuit!!

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

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Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

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About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and training Resource Therapist. She’s also a published author. 

She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

What I Learnt From An 8 Week Meditation Class

What I Learnt From An 8 Week Meditation Class

Embracing your heart space saves your life

I sat in on my last online meditation class’s live call this week. A culmination of eight weekly gatherings with like-minded souls to teach us how to connect to our heart space — that sacred space where our intuition resides. The calm and blissfully quiet space centred deeply within that aligns us to all we are.

So what is meditation really? 

‘Traditional Meditation’ is the practise used to calm our mind from the usual chatter that continually goes on.

The regular and consistent practise of meditation allows and empowers us to feel and be calmer with everyday life. It provides us with peace within. My instructor Debbie Rossi states, “meditation allows you to step into a space of clarity, of centeredness and love within our everyday lives”.

Meditation is traditionally used quite simply as a relaxation method. There is scientific evidence that:

  • provides access to your own subconscious and inner knowing
  • lowers anxiety
  • improves sleep
  • clears the mind and sharpens focus
  • can support the ease of depression
  • raises vibrational energy
  • improves happiness by anchoring you more into the ‘now’
  • improves immune function through lowering of cortisol levels (ie stress).

Powerful right? Absolutely yes, especially for someone working through symptoms of PTSD. The lessons from this course have frankly been divinely timed and an absolute godsend.

Easy? Not exactly. In fact, it’s been challenging for someone with ants in their pants, like me, to sit quietly. But what I found is this, the art meditation isn’t limited to sitting in a static yogic position. It can be done whilst walking, hanging out the washing, or even doing the dishes!

Meditation is a means for you to move beyond your analytical mind, so you can access your subconscious mind” — Dr Joe Dispenza

Thanks to the modern-day current fad called mindfulness (of which I am a self-confessed junkie), meditation is now being officially recognised by Western Medicine and scientific research. It is frequently listed as a possible stress-relieving tool and now recommended by GPs to combat the modern illness — stress.

For me what I have learnt from my classes is this, meditation is when I surrender to ordinary thinking. It’s that quiet space whereby I can lay down judgement from thinking. In fact, I can get out out of my head altogether. I can enter my heart space and connect to my divinity.

It’s powerful and timeless, and for me, in these last eight weeks, it’s saved me from destruction. It’s helped me glue together the broken pieces of self, much like kintsugi — the art of repairing broken ceramic dishes with gold because you understand the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.

I am now able to more readily understand, let go and even forgive using meditative techniques. The possibilities in this meditative realm are limitless, and there is only one real requirement — acknowledging consciously what I need in that present moment to understand, know, see, hear, feel or release for my higher good. 

One of the best lessons reinforced is that I can forgive myself for becoming ill.

Meditation has reintroduced me back to the sacredness of my heart space, my divine connection with my higher self. Each time I visit depending upon my mood it is decorated and lit differently. And that is perfectly ok.

Sometimes my sacred space is an open cave with a crystalline roof which opens to the stars, anchoring me to my ancestors. Other times it is a carved stone temple. Once it was a jungle with no roof and smothered in exotic flowers. 

Most of the time it is a cosy quiet space, mood-lit with crystal salt lamps, plush coloured cushions, and curtains to hide the walls and ceiling — so if I choose I can change the landscape beyond if I need to explore deeper answers. 

Sometimes I am drawn down a path, other times I am comfortable remaining in the space and awaiting the truth to flow. There are times where I hear messages or a guide will present themselves. The experience of visiting this place is never the same, and for that I am grateful. This forces my chatty mind to be quiet and pay attention to my exciting surroundings.

Accessing the heart space through meditative breath empowers me to surrender and release unwanted emotions. When I am in that meditative state I am calm and more readily able to release the need to squash the unwanted feelings. 

This is an important skill to have when migrating through PTSD symptoms due to a challenging experience. Being able to meditate whenever and where ever I need has been invaluable in managing anxiety.

It is truly a gift to surrender to stifling the old paradigm stuff and realising that when I choose to process anything arising within the heart space, I gain a much deeper and often universal understanding of the content causing me stress. It is then that I can simply allow things to be.

The old paradigm pattern within me just wanted to control everything. This caused me to miss opportunities, but more importantly, struggle with stuck flight/fight emotions.

This connection to our heart space gifts a deeper understanding and knowledge of self, but also strengthens our connection to our intuition. Imagine stepping purposefully forward each day instead of trudging along with worry? What might your life be like if your heart space was lighter? Or better still imagine if you could get out of your head — how much easier might things flow?

These two months of weekly meditation class has gifted me the knowledge, awareness and connection that I am exactly where I need to be in this moment. I am happily sitting within the silence of my heart space.

What I learnt over 8 weeks of being challenged to commit to daily devotion was this. Connecting to the heart space is this is where I find the answers to the questions I have not yet asked myself — because I was stuck in my head. The worry you invest in becomes like a tired mouse on a wheel, it never goes anywhere but round and round.

I sit with what I need to feel. I connect to my wisdom. I connect to the right now at this moment, not just before and not in the future but right now.

Judgements keep us boxed up tightly. Regularly visiting my heart space breaks through the box walls and shows me a different way to do and embrace reality. Its the place where I get to practice the Law of Mentalism — everything in the universe is created by thoughts. When I calm my thoughts and open my heart, I become the creator of my reality.

Frequently visiting our heart space enables us to shift our vibrational energy, much like topping up a half-full glass of good juju. We practice activating the Law of Vibration. Our prayer, in this instance the feeling we experience in our heart space, attracts a matching vibrational external to us. Love is all there is and life reacts to how much love we hold within ourselves.

This flows onto the Law of Correspondence whereby everything we have within us is reflected beyond, as spirit works on our behalf to bring us what we think and talk about. Every single thought and feeling causes an action/reaction in the world.

My meditation teacher reminded me that we never passively receive the world. Have to say that one smacked me upside the head. It made me think about how complacent I have been with myself. In these last eight weeks, I have changed that around and made myself my own priority.

It is my waking intention first thing in the morning, my check-in throughout the day and my evening gratitude moment before sleep. 

“I am the priority of my life.”

Meditation provides a beautiful mechanism to invoke silence, stillness and solitude within oneself. All of which enables an individual to become more present.

The most profound lesson learnt is that it is safe to drop the external hustle for my business. What I learnt and mean by that is this … I now lead my life led by my heart space. I allow my high vibrational to attract whatever is required to be of service, starting with honouring self first.

I’ll say it again. I surrender to ordinary thinking. When I nurture self, especially with nature immersions I am grounded, centred, focussed, balanced and protected. I don’t invest in external drama but simply remain focussed on dedication to self.

Let Your Autumn Leaves Fall

Let Your Autumn Leaves Fall

This is the season to get ‘bare’ and heal.

Favourite time of year

Autumn would have to be my favourite time of year on so many levels. The nights are cool so you can sleep. The days have glorious warm sunshine which doesn’t burn you or cause you to sweat to the point of chaffing!!

Energetically, autumn is the time of year we acknowledge the abundance of summer. The peak of sunshine and solstice has passed. We can celebrate the goals kicked and reflect on those that missed the posts and didn’t score.

Autumn should be when we slow down and progress towards our hibernation period of winter. As we lose external daylight we are energetically forced to find the light within. This is a normal part of our transitional process for our evolution.

I don’t know about you, but I reflect on my NYE intentions during this season. I review my goals and ask myself whether they are still relevant, and if they are, I question myself whether I am on track. I do this from a place of non-judgement.

It’s like a self-audit. You can pick and choose the feelings, thoughts and actions, and make any required modifications to your life.

It’s ok to not be in a space where you expected. Life is meant to be fluid and filled with unexpected change as we walk our journey path.

It is in this reflective space that you can be kind to self and explore any opportunities that have arisen along your path. You can embrace cross roads, instead of being fearful of them.

Just like the leaves on the deciduous trees which constantly change, we are entering the energetic phase of baring our branches (our patterns and beliefs and dreams). The falling of the leaves allows us to become vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to be exposed for this is where you find your raw truth — your hidden treasure of innate wisdom.

Before the equinox descends upon us, be gentle with self. It’s like filling up your love account for self. The more happiness deposits you can make, the larger your capacity for more love.

Set your intention to be open to all possibilities which allow you to be happy. I find simply setting my intention for being open to experiences of joy each day, invites the unexpected into my life. I am constantly surprised at my capacity to love when I set simple intentions, rather than planning out life to the last minute.

Set your intention which allows you to be connected to self and your inner harmony and peace of mind.

Set your intention for ‘easy’, so that you can always be open to the fork in the road and connecting to your intuition and innate knowing.

Just keep breathing, watching the tree colours change each time you are outside and walk. Allow nature to trigger your imagination and the universe to surprise you with wonder.

Be like the tree and allow your change process to evolve.

Here are some steps to support your pruning phase this autumn.

Sharpen the shears

You have to be prepared to cut out the deadwood. Journalling is a fabulous activity for this. Writing out all the arising feelings as you sit quietly and explore, reflect, and goal setting is an extremely liberating and purging gift to self.

Rake up the fallen leaves

Collect your thoughts and feelings through journaling and meditation. It’s important that when the feelings arise into consciousness, you don’t dwell on them. Use the breath to acknowledge and gently release that which no longer serves your higher purpose.

Mulch the tree roots

Fuelling your body with sufficient nutrition and water is essential in your change process. A healthy gut promotes your brain to work better and be more readily adaptable in this stressful world.

Fertilize the soil

When I first typed this I wrote fertilize the soul. By this I mean to be selfish and meet your needs.

Self-care is vital with any change process. For some, this may include a relaxing bath each night. Perhaps a walk in nature. Cuddle the pets or kids can reinforce your physical connection to others. Massage is another ripper activity for the self-care tool kit.

As always be sure to get good sleep to rest the body and the mind.


In summary, allow yourself to align to the seasonal change. Surrendering to the energetic shifts aligns you to your unique path and the steps you are about to take. Surrendering to your leaves falling and your branches becoming bare will prepare you for your upcoming winter hibernation.