Pick yourself up when the doubt starts to lurk

Living our human experience, we are firstborn without the capacity for anything more sophisticated than the basics — eat, poop, sleep and scream for attention.

Sometimes we forget this — we didn’t learn to walk and talk straight away. All these new skills take time to explore, attempt, fail, and develop. We don’t master perfection of these small actions, we practice and fall over and pick ourselves up — over and over again.

Developing our beliefs (defined as “an acceptance that something exists or is true”) about ourselves is just like walking. Our self-belief is an evolution of thought, reflection and acceptance of who we are. This changes and evolves throughout our entire life.

Yet as we age and mature we are exposed to experiences that challenge us. Some of these challenges even trigger us, and we have to work hard to acknowledge the trigger and heal.

Sometimes just pausing and mindfully breathing is enough to bring you back into the present moment. This takes practice.

Fundamentally though, we need to believe that our abilities can be developed to overcome the hurdle we face. Without that belief we have no hope. Without hope, what’s the actual point?

When we don’t initially succeed, a seed of doubt can get sewn. When you keep fertilising that seed on the unconscious level, the doubt can smack you so quickly. It’s at this point we unknowingly sabotage ourselves.

To minimise your tendency to sabotage, you need to be proactive in managing your belief in self.

So how can you proactively boost ‘belief’ in yourself? 

1. Practice positive self-talk

Gift yourself encouraging words. This is especially a healthy practice when you can catch yourself thinking or speaking something negative. When you can instantly acknowledge low vibration or negativity, and reframe with something positive you can instantly transform your emotional vibration.

Positive self-talk can also be boosted with the use of affirmations which create a positive and intentional mindset.

2. Set achievable goals

I’m a big advocate of trying to achieve good things in your life. Here’s the thing, I coach people to dream big and create tiny actions (that later become habits) that are super easy to achieve.

When you break down larger goals into a list of small actions, that are more achievable you quickly build confidence and belief in your abilities. You are more likely to achieve small wins on the board which will contribute to your motivation to continue when the actions get a little tougher and more challenging as you progress.

3. Celebrate every success

When we implement those tiny actions (mentioned above) and have tiny wins — celebrate it all. Celebrate everything. Be sure to make the time to acknowledge every single little accomplishment, no matter how small they may seem.

You’ll gift yourself a dopamine hit and be your own cheerleader. Play your favourite song. Tick the job off the list. Pump yourself up with the little things. Before you know it, you’re ticking off all the things from your ‘to-do’ list.

4. Surround yourself with positivity

When self-doubt kicks in, you can feel incredibly isolated. This can exacerbate your sensation of lowered self-worth.

I’ve learnt over the years to include positive people in my tribe. They build me up when my knees shake or the nervous agitation rises.

I choose to surround myself with people who support and encourage me. They enquire about and track my progress. We debrief with each other’s projects and dreams.

So be sure to seek out positive and uplifting people and environments.

5. Embrace failure as a learning opportunity

We learn to walk by first figuring out how to roll, then crawl, then rise and step forward. This process isn’t without falls, slips and trips and the odd face splat.

But should you quit attempting to walk because you fall? Repeat the steps advised above, and reframe the experience — what did I just learn? Where can I make small changes or implement small actions?

Instead of letting failure bring you down, view it as a chance to learn and grow, and use it to fuel your belief in yourself.

Conclusion

Enjoy playing with these small tips and tricks to pick yourself up when the doubt starts to lurk. Belief in self is one of the most powerful actions you can gift yourself to live your best life.

You really can choose to change and bloom from within.

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

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