The Mother Load
5 Tips How To Embrace The Mother Load
Here’s to everyone who parents with integrity, and passion.
Cheers to everyone who puts the emotional welfare of their children above all else.
So how do we embrace the Mother Load?
1. Learn To Juggle Less
I often relate all of the things we do in a single day, is very similar to juggling balls in the air. More often than not, we feel overwhelmed, when we try to add extra balls to what we are already trying to juggle.
If you’re already at maximum juggle, and trying to add more, something has to fall – right?
Sometimes we need to recongise, that a solution we are seeking can only be found, when we place all of the balls down, and turn our head and see what it is we were looking for.
It’s not failure, if you pause what ball you choose to throw in the air. It’s not failure if you discern what ball to throw, and what to put down.
Sometimes, it’s actually more efficient, and far less stressful to simply juggle one or two things. What’s the worst that can happen – you do those few things really well?
2. Debate Like A Hostage Negotiator
One of the best things I ever learnt to do was debate like a hostage negotiator (I thank my lucky stars for my eccletic edutcation and technical training).
What I mean by this, is that when you are juggling, you’re using a lot of mental energy to keep all the balls in the air.
A hostage negotiator needs to understand the personal investment needs of everyone involved, so that the discussion can commence. A good discussion will quickly identify who needs what, and in what time frame. But more importantly, you ihighlight the other persons’s why.
When you understand the emotional response of what is driving someone’s bheaviour, it no longer becomes peronal – it’s just a logistical solution to solve.
So often, family members get involvled in heated discussions, because they have made the a situation personal. They are reacting. They have activated their defence programs.
At the end of the day, you’re the hostage to negativity when you invest in the drama of others! Learn to simply observe amd ask the qurstion – why is this important right now?
3. Identify the Emotion
It’s frustrating when an emotional response drives sub-conscious and reactive behaviours. It leaves us feeling out of control. What’s actually going on is our Inner Child is expressing an unresolved emotional reaction from the past.
Acknowledging the emotion (that is driving the the defensive behaviour), is a present time response. It’s not a reaction. Therefore responding in present time deactivates the old reactive survival pattern so that you can take immediate action.
I teach how to talk to your inner child in a recent podcast episode.
4. Make Time To Decompress
Life in westernised society is fast paced. It’s choatic. It’s hectic. If you’re lucky enough to be afford activities, life is even busier.
Add kids to the mix, and the juggle at times can feel mental. Its enough to make you want to stay in bed.
I find when I work with parents who struggle with the mother load, they haven’t dedicated any ‘time out‘ to themselves.
Sleep isn’t enough to charge the battery. You need to physically rest. When the body is rested, the mind follows, and can soothe all those thoughts and feelings that are doing laps inside your head.
When you’ve got kids, taking time out can feel like a luxury you can’t afford. Zoning out infront of the TV or social media doesn’t actually count!
When was the last time you walked the dog whilst listenin to a podcast?
When was the last time you sat in your favourite chair and read a great book – for the fun of it?
What about a trashy magazine that takes you a week to read over each and every coffee break?
It’s worth noting that the Heart Math Institute researced that three minutes of meditation daily (or even practicising mindfulness), resulted in hours of wellbeing felt in the body.
Find what works for you to decompress consistently each day.
5. Do Good, Not More
It sounds easy enough to do good, not more – but have you made the mind body connection with what actually soothes you?
Most of the time, when we pause the juggle, we have the oportunity to connect with our feelings. It’s at this point we can acknowledge the reactive emotion and do something about it.
It is these moments that we can discover what really matters.
Reflection is such a gift to self to evolve the way we do the juggle of life and create opportunity for true life balance.
It’s only when we are present, and not operating a past tense survival program that we can focus on the things you can juggle (rather than drop or do poorly).
For more information about our survival switch and techniques to defuse it, view my book “This Is My Roar – Transform Your Trauma Tale.” Click here for more information.
Want to read more like this?
What Really Matters – click here
Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here
8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here
Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here
How To Stop Making Excuses & Start Living Your Best Life – Click here
Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation & Virtual Gastric Band Hypnosis Facilitator, and self-confessed laughaholic. She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’