Use This Statement As A Circuit Breaker to Unwanted Self-Talk

I see clients within my therapeutic clinic who admit their perception of self is misguided. They tell me they feel lost, ungrounded and disassociated. They are not centred physically, mentally or emotionally.

Throughout the therapy session, I guide the client to unpack the reasons for those words. They retell their stories. They retrace the steps leading to this place on the road of life. It often starts with not believing or backing yourself. It can start with something as simple as your language to describe yourself.

Your brain automatically defaults to a negative outlook. Why? Because it takes less effort. You don’t have to expend energy seeking solutions, evidence, or positive patterns. It takes the shortest path to a response/reaction. However, it’s worth noting that the brain also doesn’t know what is real (or not). When the brain records information, it does so as if it were happening.

When you use negative language to describe yourself, your brain believes what you tell it. Your mind records those statements and matches the memory with what you are doing. There is also a process of filing that memory with specific people in particular places. Your brain creates memories — that are not always factual, but based on how you responded to the occasion from an emotional and sensory perspective.

Crazy right?

When creating change processes with my clinical clients I start with tiny steps. As humans, it’s easier to create change when there are small changes — it’s more comfortable and digestible. You’re creating a new muscle memory that takes physical and mental energy. I liken the process to a baby taking a year to learn to walk. It’s a process and there are milestones like sitting, rolling, rocking, crawling, standing and stepping.

You get the drift.

It can feel confronting to observe yourself talking negatively to and about yourself. It’s likely to feel very uncomfortable within your body. And your confidence may feel dented when you recognise how often you’re repeating the negativity.

Never fear, not all is lost. In my two decades of therapeutic experience, try actions that break the circuit or interrupt the unwanted pattern. Rather than have to revisit an old painful memory, or recreate an unwanted behaviour, you can allow yourself to observe the negative language which triggers the survival reaction.

Try a circuit breaker today!

Is today the day you use the phrase “cancel that” as a circuit breaker to intrusive negative thoughts? So often your internal language is not as positive as you intend. Those negative statements seep into your everyday language until those words become the natural and accepted dialogue that you use to describe yourself.

It starts with statements like these:

❌ I’m too tired

❌ I can’t be bothered

❌ I’ll start tomorrow

❌ I’m too busy

❌ It’s not the right time

❌ I’m not ready

❌ I’m afraid

❌ I’m not sure

❌ But what if …

❌ I’m not good enough

I call bullshit on it all. It’s these in-the-moment statements that we say flippantly without first pausing and leaning into how we’re feeling. We just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, and wham, you’re body and brain respond.

Sometimes you just need a breather, and then get back on the horse with what you were doing, rather than running the survival reaction.

When you catch yourself saying “Cancel that”, you are negating the energy of the negative statement and putting your brain on notice that you can make space for neutral or even better, more positive in your life.

Fair warning — when you first start using this circuit breaker, you can very easily feel overwhelmed with how often you start to say “Cancel that”. But remind yourself of the fact that we can upwards of 60,000 thoughts a day. It shocks my clients when I advise that approximately seventy-five per cent (75%) of those thoughts are negative! And of those thoughts that are negative, ninety-five per cent (95%) of them are simply repeated from yesterday.

So creating change for tomorrow starts with canceling garbage thoughts today! The more you cancel out, the less you repeat tomorrow, and the weaker the emotional energy is to repeat them. It’s also interesting that when you are in a more positive-framed mindset, you feel better (because there is less cortisol being secreted).

You recuperate faster.

You experience less pain.

You change faster.

You get to the best version of you! And you are so worth it!

Conclusion

You too can attempt this simple circuit breaker as often as you dare. I invite you to become curious the next time your life becomes a roller coaster of negative thoughts.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

• Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here
• 8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here
• Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

Prefer to listen to a podcast?

Karen has a free public podcast channel entitled “I Am Changeing” that stores resources for clients.

Click here for this episode.

First published with WORD GARDEN, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.