Get comfortable sitting in your ‘discomfort’ enables the shifts to live the life you desire!
I’m getting a lot of calls and messages lately, from clients who have avoided their stuff for months if not years. They are distressed and desperate for an immediate change of circumstances. Their stuff is swallowing them whole.
Let’s be clear, we ALL have stuff — you know, that shit we all deal with. The stuff that includes challenges so negative that trip us up and cause us to splat on our face.
We’ve all got stuff in our lives to deal with. Never delude yourself that you don’t, because you do. No one is excluded from learning lessons. No one.
In my experience though, it’s how well we are willing to explore our stuff that determines what we learn about ourselves. Our willingness regarding how quickly we can dig around and investigate our stuff, and how we evolve from the lessons that need to be learnt actually drive the outcome of who we are today and what we become tomorrow.
Deep right? But knowing this doesn’t solve the discomfort you may be sitting in right now.
In fact, if you have been avoiding taking responsibility for your stuff for a while it is highly likely that lately you have felt trapped or burdened in life. The world is changing and many of us are struggling to figure out who we are and where we now fit?
You may be desperate to want to make changes and have no idea where to start and the anxiety of this is eating you up.
Those of us who are more resilient than others are willing and able to explore the darkness within. We are willing and motivated to sit in our stuff and allow ourselves to explore in order to understand and gain knowledge of who we are. It feels like there is no time for wallowing, just exploration.
Is it comfortable or pleasant? Nope.
It’s only when we avoid, procrastinate, and delay this exploration that we feel pain. The longer we allow the festering to evolve what happens on an unconscious level is how we develop mental habits to reinforce more avoidance, procrastination and you guessed it, more pain.
And so the cycle not only continues but escalates its reinforcement of the new rules — avoid pain at all costs. Do you see how quickly you can create a base for anxiety to root into?
Not exactly the outcome we want when desperately seeking support. And yet so many people book a singular appointment expecting a cure to their ails but with no work undertaken on their part.
I have even been asked during the middle of a consultation “is there a pill to make the shit go away?”
Their investment to being responsible for their stuff is zero and they continue to wonder why they are still swallowed and consumed by the mud of their krud.
Breast cancer has been an immense chapter of self-discovery. It feels somewhat like an abyss of stuff I have been wading through and I am finally feeling like I am getting traction. Lots of meditation and quiet walks to process what arises. Acceptance and stepping beyond ordinary thinking have taken me leaps and bounds.
It is such a gift to self to allow yourself to step into ‘responsibility’ and wade around the stuff.
There are occasions whereby it is uncomfortable and sure you want to avoid stepping in it, much like avoiding dogshit on the pavement. It’s natural to want to avoid the uncomfortable.
But guess what? When you take the time to look, sitting quietly in your heart space, you gain such a profound understanding of who you are and what makes you tick.
Your head holds your response programs to your experiences. Your body holds the emotions which drive the programs. Your heart is the source of your love and intuition.
If you are in your head all the time how well connected to your truth are you? Or are you simply playing mental pattern reruns of the nightmare on elm street?
This deeper understanding of yourself allows you to simply accept everything as it is and love all of the facets of you — love the positive and the negative. For it’s the negative or darkness that holds your deepest lessons. I liken the negative to my hidden treasure. I simply need to accept it’s there, and by doing this there is no fight. This acceptance is like shining light on the situation so that I gain clarity.
What this crazy COVID-CANCER year has taught me, is to slow down. It’s often when I’m out of my head and having a nature fix that Spirit gets chatty, and I can easily connect with my inner wisdom.
Having done spiritual journey work for nearly two decades, I’m used to exploring and processing my stuff. What I’m learning this year, with the influx of new energy is this.
What if we simply accepted that we have stuff?
Would merely accepting something has arisen negate the need to judge?
Would acceptance negate the need to assess and process?
Would conscious acceptance of the stuff merely turn off the negative attachment to the stuff and you see it and let it go with full, and loving conscious awareness?
So I’ll challenge you with this question!
Is it time to stop running from ‘self’? Is it time to pause and embrace all that you are?
And best of all are you feeling effervescent with life?!!!
“Deep down you know fulfilment doesn’t come from food, a job, or a romantic partner. It springs organically from your soul.” -Panache Desai
For some reason we fear going deep within to find our own answers – we have them all you know?
It takes a little practice and a willingness to explore. As you settle the monkey mind and step down into your heart space you create a new neural pathway, like muscle memory.
The transition back to your true self gets easier and easier with daily commitment. When the chips are down you get to review the current situation and then choose again.
Ready to try and connect with self today?
Walking around my local nature reserve this morning I paused mid-walk to do a meditation.
As you know I am preparing my body and headspace for surgery later this week.
There is a myriad of emotions and beliefs that I have been regularly sitting with, peeling back to expose and love through a deeper understanding.
The process isn’t as heavy as it used to once be. The serenity arrives as I surrender to learning and embracing self, rather than avoiding and procrastinating.
Wishing a problem would go away or disappear sends a wish to the universe that you would rather sit in your pain body than address the lesson and embrace the love of self.
I saw a magnificent tree this morning on my walk. Whilst it had what appeared to be an open wound, upon closer inspection it was sealed over. And the tree had flourished despite the wound.
My lesson through this observation was this. Despite the experience of breast cancer, the surgeries and treatment I am still my feral funny self.
I am still a joy seeker. I still chase sunrises and rainbows. I still love tree-hugging and telling naughty jokes.
I am still me, just not as green as a young sapling. My branches and trunk have matured and evolved.
Want to know how I started this process?
I set my intention daily to surrender to ‘ordinary thinking’.
When I ask spirit for guidance, and I remain open-minded the smallest things catch my eye. Sometimes the reason I stare or investigate is obvious. Other times I seek additional clarification.
I literally gasp “please show me the lesson with clarity ease and grace”.
Just like the tree, I continue to grow. Like the tree, I trust that my wound will seal just like the tree.
Our scars tell a story, add interest, give us depth, just like this tree. Without the wound, you may have just thought it was a beautiful tree and kept walking but you’ve stopped and wondered about its life and that’s far more interesting than it’s external beauty.
Exploring your wound doesn’t have to be painful. You simply have to be curious. In other words, you have to be willing to look.
The quicker you find the challenge and accept that it’s yours the sooner you will be seeking a solution.
Look at my life. Without cancer, I wouldn’t be right where I am today.
Everything that has happened in the last six months has taught me so much. It showed me I am so much more than a cancer survivor. I have solidified the ultimate and innate knowing of Karen. I learnt the power of embracing self and what is brought to the table when you drop the hustle and are exactly who you should be.
I have learnt that my toolbox is incredible and spirit is now showing me how to share this with the world.
Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, self-confessed laughaholic, and now Breast Cancer Advocate residing in Gippsland Victoria Australia. She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’