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5 Foundations Of Resilience

5 Foundations Of Resilience

by | Sep 2, 2022 | Self Development

What are the five foundations of resilience?

 

What is resilience? It’s defined as “our ability to bounce back from the stress of life”. Stress is a funny word. Most people don’t recognise that whilst we need some stress, like the alarm going off in the morning, any sustained stress is actually not great for our body or wellbeing.

Stress is defined as “a state of mental or emotional strain from an adverse or demanding situation”. Furthermore, the definition is further categorised that when in a prolonged state of stress, can cause imbalance and influence our ability to cope with life.

Resilience (or our ability to bounce back) therefore, requires a strong foundation and comprises five components: self-awareness, mindfulness, self-care, positive relationships and purpose. Resilience is not a skill we’re born with, it’s something we have to learn.

And what a time in the history of the world to learn these skills!

According to the creators of the WorkLife App, there are five pillars of resilience which include:

  • self awareness
  • mindfulness
  • self care
  • positive relationships
  • purpose.

One of the things I am constantly coaching clients, is that we are responsible for the lessons we embrace on our journey called life. Our humanness, all those experiences, are often messy.

Having a sense of self-awareness is empowering. It keeps you in the present moment, which is on the only time reference where change happens.

When exploring self awareness we commence with focussing on our ability to be conscious (present moment). It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge your stuff (what triggers you).

Self awareness includes your courage, willingness, motivation and intention to be aware so that you can change and navigate the path of life. Having an awareness of self allows you to understand how those around us perceive us.

When we are self-aware, and present we can choose to react or simply observe situations around us. This gifts us the space to then be compassionate and potentially consider what others around us are experiencing or hypothesize reasons for their actions.

Having a consistent self care practice that incorporates mindfulness enables you to practice your ability to be fully present, aware of where you are, what you are doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what is going on around you.

Berkley University defines mindfulness as “maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a gentle, nurturing lens”.

Therefore every time you acknowledge you’re stressed (this is the art of mindfulness) you can gift yourself the choice to actively become self aware to the experience you are having, and what is required to resolve the discomfort of what you are experiencing.

Self-care is the practice of implementing positive action(s) that improve or maintain your wellbeing and health. This practice looks and feels different for everyone – and so it should since we’re all uniquely different.

It is up to you to distinguish how you’re feeling and what self care strategy you need in the present moment that will create an intentional positive effort.

I recommend radical self care for everyone. This means try a bunch of different activities, so that you have a variety of strategies to support you when feeling tired, triggered, low or just in a funk.

The next criteria to solidify the foundation of your resilience is positive relationships. This starts with the relationship you have with yourself, and how well you are prepared to acknowledge what you need and when.

It additionally extends to creating and maintaining healthy relationships with people in your life – those people who we exchange love, care, and respect with.

Knowing your why or purpose. This fundamental understanding of why we are here in this life enables you to create a supportive mindset and attitude towards yourself and others. Your sense of purpose is the key to feeling that you belong or serve something bigger than yourself.

In his book, The Giant Within, Tony Robbins elaborates on this sense of significance and loving connection as two of the required human needs. Our sense of purpose is founded on your faith, your family values, or simply perhaps where you work or volunteer your time and energy.

Utilising these foundational tools takes practice. Let me explain why.

Creating a new skill and mastering it’s effect takes time. It’s often important to stick with a new skill so that you can discern how well it works for you when you’re feeling calm, and then gain an understanding of how it will benefit you when stressed.

An activity like meditation is beneficial in the moment when you’re calm, but really useful if you are consistently undertaking short span practice on a daily basis – then it’s like topping up your zen tank.

Self-care should looks different for everyone. It is the practice of taking action to maintain or improve our health. It is up to us to make an intentional effort to practice self-care.

Conclusion

Learning and maintaining these foundational skills takes practice – to know what skill works best for you and when to use the tool. Using these five foundations of resilience can provide you with the gift of reframing your thinking so you see yourself and the world around you in new ways.

Sometimes, capturing a different view of your reality is all you need to step out of drama and back into the present time frame.

Prioritising foundation resilience upskilling is a radical and fabulous holistic approach to manage the stress in your daily life as well as your overall well-being in the long term.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

5 Questions to Identify What is Enough – Click here

5 Tips to Focus on What Really Matters – Click here

Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

How To Stop Making Excuses & Start Living Your Best Life – Click here

Time to make a change?

Bookings – book today for an individual appointment

What is Kinesiology?

Join the private membership group Above & Beyond.

Learn more about other services offered click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & TBM & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Virtual Gastric Band Hypnosis Practitioner – she is a Change Facilitator!

Karen is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

5 Questions To Identify What Is Enough

5 Questions To Identify What Is Enough

by | Aug 28, 2022 | Self Development

Five questions to dig deep on what is really important

 

I’ve had a lot of down time in the last three years.

Way too much time to think – about everything. I’ll admit to overthinking at times, and those mental processes which so easily take you down a rabbit hole.

The question I’ve had to ask myself constantly as I readjust to a new life is this – what is enough?

This is what I’ve figured out…

Is climbing the hamster wheel, in search of the ultimate happiness (or success) mountain peak going to be enough?

The answer is always ‘no’.

Some people are surprised by the answer and my reply is this. There’s always another mountain to climb. But if I don’t pause to enjoy the scenery of where I’m at, and appreciate the difficulty of this present climb – then why the hell am I doing it?

There is no ultimate destination. Our humanness dictates that we have a limitless amount of destinations to visit. But are you open to visiting as many as you can?

This blind frantic climb of ‘achievement mountain’ is actually a falsehood. The destination of achieving a single outcome in order to achieve happiness and contentment is called ‘nowhere’.

Achievement is a singular point in time. When you arrive at achievement, whether it be a purchase or completion of a project, there’s little to no space to mentally or emotionally appreciate the lessons you’ve encountered along the way. There’s no capacity to embrace the gift of the experience.

Outcomes are singular points in time. Some are fabulous, but they are temporary and transient.

So to ask yourself “what is enough?” actually relates to the energy and mindset you invest in the journey to achieving the outcome you desire.

What I’ve come to learn is that what I want enough of is, laughter and connection to those I love. It’s that simple. My answer is that I seek to jam as much of that in each and every day as I can.

I chase the joy bubbles, because they don’t last unless I embody those feelings and make that part of my vibrational being. This is how I infuse positivity into every fibre of my being, so that joy translates from a momentary thought to throughout my entire being.

I’ve also got a very clear mandated boundaries of the things I don’t want – drama, chaos, rushing, stuff. That’s not what I want, and anything vibrating in that stuff is always way too much. I work each day to steer me away from the destination of crapville.

So let me ask you these five questions which may support you to discern what is enough for you in your life?

When thinking of your dream life, how has it evolved over your life? Is what is important  enough and has that matured with you over time?

Is your sense of fulfilment or definition of enough, invested in the external quick fix?

Is what is important to you, connected to a thought or a feeling, or is it defined by how much stuff you acquire?

How do you measure what is enough?

How do you acknowledge when the cup is full of what all this enough is?

Conclusion

Focussing on what is important, can support you to achieve alignment to the feeling of your enough – that moment when you fully embrace the joy bubbles, and sticking those moments together.

Becoming a joy seeker, by aligning to those internal feelings allows you to focus on the feeling of your true north. This is what is enough, to stay on track.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

5 Tips to Focus on What Really Matters – Click here

Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

How To Stop Making Excuses & Start Living Your Best Life – Click here

Time to make a change?

Bookings – book today for an individual appointment

What is Kinesiology?

Join the private membership group Above & Beyond.

Learn more about other services offered click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

5 Tips To Discover What Really Matters

5 Tips To Discover What Really Matters

by | Aug 7, 2022 | Self Development

5 Tips To Discover What Really Matters?

 

Last week I worked with an executive client who is working through the transition of upscaling their role from Operations Manager to Business Owner and co-Director. As you would imagine, this is both exciting and incredibly stressful at times.

I liken this transition to that of a solopreneur – who initially enters the workforce as a practitioner AND and everything else you do when you work for yourself. Business owners wear a lot of hats and bear all the responsibility.

As is so often the case, life gets extraordinarily busy sometimes. The juggle can often feel overwhelming for anyone. This feeling of overwhelm can be especially heightened when you:

  • work for yourself; or
  • have an executive job or leadership role; or
  • work alternating day/night shifts;
  • juggle parenthood (homeschooling) with working from home
  • you / partner experience an illness

We discussed the importance of holidays, of escaping the mundane groundhog-itis of a routine and exploring new places or activities. Taking a time out, no matter how big or small, is a gift to our mind, body and spirit.

This change of scenery to our senses as an experience is often a holiday in itself.

This is why it’s vital to reconnect with friends and family, to leave the home and get outside – to create stimulus to the heart and mind. This practice reminds us we aren’t alone.

But more importantly, planning and taking a holiday is incredibly therapuetic for so many reasons. During my conversation, this excecutive laughed and confessed to slowing down enough to finally understand the phrase “stop and smell the roses“. In her case it was travelling through Italy and eating the glorious food in wine country.

But here’s the thing. Whilst I was more than a little jelly scrolling through her travel pics, my heart melted when she recalled sitting in a remote country villa and simply watching the Italian locals go about their day.

She smiled fondly, and told me she figured out life, what really matters – love, family and the simple pleasures of life.

We laughed, smiled and sighed.

Both in agreeance at the anology that Italian culture and focus on what is important is something we could bring a little more into our lives.

Not all of us can take a trip to Italy.

It was then the conversation steeered back to how to translate this Italian experience back into every day life, back into the workplace, back to her team?

My response was to create an energetic invitation, and then lead by example.

So what really matters in your life?

To answer this, you need to be in the right space and have an open mind and heart. I’m talking down time. Rest. Mini break. The space in your life whereby you reset, recuperate and regenerate.

This action is actually life giving – to yourself AND those around you. Our human experience isn’t designed to live like robots, punching the time clock and making widgits.

1. Self Love

When we ask ourselves what really matters, it’s imperative that we are connect to our heart space, rather than be stuck in our head.

Everything external to us, in the outside world should be considered an illusion. You literally have no control over it. At best you’re an observer of the space around you.

Your past experiences, and reactions to them, will drive how you express your values.

When we look within (from the heart), we are activating the source of our power – unconditional love. Afterall, who deserves this more than anyone other that you loving yourself?

In my book This Is My Roar, I reference Tony Robbins identifies six common human needs to be met: certainty, variety, significance, growth, contribution, and loving connection.

The human need that stands out for me (to understand what is important) is the need for loving connection. Experiencing challenges in our lives can severely impact our loving connection to ourselves and others.

When you are in a state of flight or fight you are operating from a reactive mental state rather than the feeling centre of your heart. 

In my clinical practice I support clients to defuse their stress so that they can heal their connection within themselves. This can be so traumatic that it disconnects you, even momentarily, from your inner self and your own internal resources.

This disconnection is a separation from the deepest and most sacred part of you. This interrupts your perception of feeling safe in your life and creates what I call your trauma tale. It’s this separation from this human need for loving connection that establishes the experience as reactive and stressful, leaving you unable to respond.

2. Experiences versus stuff

When you have a life changing experience like an epic holiday, or even a cancer diagnosis – you look at life a little differently.

Sometimes a fresh perspective, a clean slate, and space to breathe enables you to focus on actually what is important – such as creating a life long memory versus buying yet another thing for your wardrobe.

I’m reminded of the shoe dilemna in Sex & The City when Carrie fell in love with an apartment to purchase, but didn’t have the savings for a deposit. Carrie was heart broken as she sat amongst her designer shoe collection. It wasn’t until her friends pointed out that the entirity of her shoe collection equated to a $40,000 deposit!

I love the apporach that Marie Condo has for life. Your possessions must bring you joy – and not in the moment. Your possessions should fulfill a purpose, rather than sit on a shelf not bringing you joy.

3. Be a vibrational match to what you are wanting

When it comes to manifesting what is actully important right now, it’s often useful to consider the wise words of Abraham Hicks (channelled by Ester Hicks).

Every desire you have in life, no matter how big or small is answered by the universe. Read that again, and then reflect on the quality of your internal dialogue.

Reflect on your outlook on life. Without shame, blame or guilt, be really honest with yourself and assess is your outlook positive or negative?

Reflect on what is important and determine whether you’re even in a vibrational space that allows the full vibrational manifetation of the answers you seek in life.

Are you aligned to the art of allowing? Another alternative ways of asking this are you

  • a vibrational match of what you are asking for before you can receive it?

  • aligning with your own desire?

  • embracing the art of allowing the wellbeing that is natural to flow?

  • living a life of non resistance to what you want?

  • appreciating what you already have and who you already are?

  • embodying the art of happiness?

  • art of paying attention to the way you feel and wanting to feel good?

  • the art of paying attention to your emotions?

  • guiding yourself to reframe you life into a space of feeling better / good?

“This is the art of deliberate creation, whereby you purposefully align to your thoughts to waht you want. Whatever you give your attention to where you stand, you give your vibration attention to.” – Ester Hicks

4. Do Good, Not More

At corporate presentations, I find myself discussing strategies with leadership. We have a neuro-biological need for regular mindfulness practice to drives higher efficiencies and focus in all staff.

In other words, don’t send your members of management or leaders offsite to a retreat to learn what is important – conduct a workshop where they sit with their teams and learn what is important to their staff. 

Understanding what is important to your individual team members, provides you with insight of what their “what really matters“. As a leader, your job is then create an energetic invitation for your staff to arrive at a space of mutual appreciation of what really matters to the collective.

Asking staff to do more when there is little to no physical/mental capacity is a receipe for disaster.

Asking staff to do good, and supporting them with an invitation and resources to be good, is in my opinion an ideal space to start. It can be as simple as a peaceful breakout room to escape the desk, a fruit box to share amongst staff or sit and have coffee chat during the day.

Sometimes a simple casual check-in supports your staff feeling valued and heard.

5. Find your tribe

There’s an old saying that it takes a tribe to raise a child. The same analogy can be used  for the adult. Humans are not nomadic by nature. We are deigned to function as a pack, a tribe.

From an societal perspective, to nuture our humanness, we need some time to replenish by ourselves, but we need external touch (hugs) and communication to nuture the spirit within.

So even your family are triggering, be sure to have people in your life who nurture you physically, mentally and emotionally – this is what’s really important.

In modern western culture there’s lots of positive conversation and dialogue these days surrounding a workplace culture – how well do people get along?

With the pandemic interfering with team cohesiveness, the current challenge is to reconnect your work tribe in positive ways rather than more zoom meetings. 

Conclusion

Discovering what is really important to you and your team is a game changer for you as an individual and a leader. This can also readily translate to creating positive changes to your team environment.

Will everyone get on board? – no. All you can do is focus on your mindset, and allow that to be the energetic invitation for others around to join you.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roar – signed copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

How To Stop Making Excuses & Start Living Your Best Life – Click here

Time to make a change?

Bookings – book today for an individual appointment

What is Kinesiology?

Join the private membership group Above & Beyond.

Learn more about other services offered click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

The Mother Load

The Mother Load

by | Jul 10, 2022 | Self Development

5 Tips How To Embrace The Mother Load

I heard the phrase ‘mother load‘ the other day, and it resonated strongly. It summed up the stress experienced by a mother who so often does for everyone else first, and there’s not much else left for her.
 
So often in clinic I work with women who have lost their identity in being the amazing mother, wife, and employee that they are. I can put my hand up and say I was one of them!
 
Working through my treatment and multiple surgeries, I had a lot of time to reflect and change the way I do life. I had time to review the rituals that keep me energerised.
 
I came to realise that if I don’t honor self first, if I don’t fill my bucket first, then everything else suffers. I choose to allow my own child to see my humanness moments – because I’m not superwoman. I don’t want to emulate that sterotype and perpetuate the pattern to another generation – that women have to be everything.
 
Be yourself. Live your life.
 
Allow your kids to see your full spectrum of life – this is how they learn to regulate themselves!
 
Yes install a filter, because kids don’t need to know everything. However, they do need to see you not be everything for everyone.
Kids do need hear ‘no’.
Kids do need to learn how to mop, vacuum, set the table, stack the dishwasher, wipe down the bench, cook meals, pack up after themselves. It’s called life.
 
Here’s to the mothers (and fathers) who have the patience of a saint and continue to breathe through yet another emotional crisis.
 
Here’s to the mothers (and fathers) who keep trying their best, especially when working through their own stuff whilst juggling all the things in the air.
 
Here’s to everyone who is honest about the intensity of the mother load – you’re freaking rock!

Here’s to everyone who parents with integrity, and passion.

Cheers to everyone who puts the emotional welfare of their children above all else.

So how do we embrace the Mother Load?

1. Learn To Juggle Less

I often relate all of the things we do in a single day, is very similar to juggling balls in the air. More often than not, we feel overwhelmed, when we try to add extra balls to what we are already trying to juggle.

If you’re already at maximum juggle, and trying to add more, something has to fall – right?

Sometimes we need to recongise, that a solution we are seeking can only be found, when we place all of the balls down, and turn our head and see what it is we were looking for.

It’s not failure, if you pause what ball you choose to throw in the air. It’s not failure if you discern what ball to throw, and what to put down.

Sometimes, it’s actually more efficient, and far less stressful to simply juggle one or two things. What’s the worst that can happen – you do those few things really well?

2. Debate  Like A Hostage Negotiator

One of the best things I ever learnt to do was debate like a hostage negotiator (I thank my lucky stars for my eccletic edutcation and technical training).

What I mean by this, is that when you are juggling, you’re using a lot of mental energy to keep all the balls in the air.

A hostage negotiator needs to understand the personal investment needs of everyone involved, so that the discussion can commence. A good discussion will quickly identify who needs what, and in what time frame. But more importantly, you ihighlight the other persons’s why. 

When you understand the emotional response of what is driving someone’s bheaviour, it no longer becomes peronal – it’s just a logistical solution to solve.

So often, family members get involvled in heated discussions, because they have made the a situation personal. They are reacting. They have activated their defence programs.

At the end of the day, you’re the hostage to negativity when you invest in the drama of others! Learn to simply observe amd ask the qurstion – why is this important right now?

3. Identify the Emotion

It’s frustrating when an emotional response drives sub-conscious and reactive behaviours. It leaves us feeling out of control. What’s actually going on is our Inner Child is expressing an unresolved emotional reaction from the past.

Acknowledging the emotion (that is driving the the defensive behaviour), is a present time response. It’s not a reaction. Therefore responding in present time deactivates the old reactive survival pattern so that  you can take immediate action.

I teach how to talk to your inner child in a recent podcast episode.

4. Make Time To Decompress

Life in westernised society is fast paced. It’s choatic. It’s hectic. If you’re lucky enough to be afford activities, life is even busier.

Add kids to the mix, and the juggle at times can feel mental. Its enough to make you want to stay in bed.

I find when I work with parents who struggle with the mother load, they haven’t dedicated any ‘time out‘ to themselves.

Sleep isn’t enough to charge the battery. You need to physically rest. When the body is rested, the mind follows, and can soothe all those thoughts and feelings that are doing laps inside your head.

When you’ve got kids, taking time out can feel like a luxury you can’t afford. Zoning out infront of the TV or social media doesn’t actually count!

When was the last time you walked the dog whilst listenin to a podcast?

When was the last time you sat in your  favourite chair and read a great book – for the fun of it?

What about a trashy magazine that takes you a week to read over each and every coffee break?

It’s worth noting that the Heart Math Institute researced that three minutes of meditation daily (or even practicising mindfulness), resulted in hours of wellbeing felt in the body.

Find what works for you to decompress consistently each day. 

5. Do Good, Not More

It sounds easy enough to do good, not more – but have you made the mind body connection with what actually soothes you?

Most of the time, when we pause the juggle, we have the oportunity to connect with our feelings. It’s at this point we can acknowledge the reactive emotion and do something about it.

It is these moments that we can discover what really matters. 

Conclusion

Reflection is such a gift to self to evolve the way we do the juggle of life and create opportunity for true life balance.

It’s only when we are present, and not operating a past tense survival program that we can focus on the things you can juggle (rather than drop or do poorly).

For more information about our survival switch and techniques to defuse it, view my book “This Is My Roar – Transform Your Trauma Tale.” Click here for more information.

Want to read more like this?

What Really Matters – click here

Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

How To Stop Making Excuses & Start Living Your Best Life – Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation & Virtual Gastric Band Hypnosis Facilitator,  and self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

The Art Of Relaxation

The Art Of Relaxation

by | May 30, 2022 | Self Development

The Art of Relaxation

I read a fabulous quote the other day, “relaxation is one of the most complex phenomena – very rich, multidimensional“, I just wish I could locate the author to give credit, because this quote is gold!

Right now, we’re experiencing a level of societal stress that hasn’t been experienced since the recession in the 1980’s, or for those still alive, the great depression during the war.

For most people, having experienced two years of uncertainty and unknown during the pandemic, worrying about whether life will return back to normal, has exacerbated our sympathetic nervous system’s flight-fight response. Extended lockdowns has not been kind for most, and from a mental health perspective, damaging and traumatic. Effectively our capacity to feel calm and relaxed has been interupted, and in some cases reduced, due to long term stress.

Everyone on the planet, has something in their past, which is unresolved, and causes them to feel triggered in present day. This trigger drives a neurological survival response.

As a clinical practitioner, I support clients to learn how to recognise when they have activated their neurological survival programs of flight-fight-freeze. I joke that this state of survival makes you look like a meerkat, looking this way and that with crazy eyes.

When you’re in meerkat mode, you have reduced capacity to absorb all of the informaation in your visual field, so you have to turn your head at everything that moves. This leaves you feeling a little ‘hyped-up’. It also uses an incredible amount of physical energy, and leaves you feeling very tired at the end of each day.

To tell someone to relax when they are in meerkat mode is useless, because they have no capacity to undertake any higher ordered thinking (in the neo cortex), or find relaxation solutions (pre-frontal cortex). When you have activated your sympathetic nervous system, and look/feel like a meerkat, you are operating your repitillian brain – you’re doing whatever it takes to survive.

Why relaxation is complex?

1. Need To Feel Safe

There’s a number of emotional investments we have to work through in order for the relaxation effect to work. Taking note that we’ve likely activated our meerkat survival program, we have to be able to firstly feel safe. This sounds a little odd, but understanding that if you feel safe, you are more likely to deactivate the survival program and neurologically return to a state of ‘rest-digest‘ of the parasympathetic nervous system.

When working in clinic, I always advise the client to start with slow and purposeful breathing. I lead the way, and we harmonise our breathing rhythms – it always feels safer to work in pairs or groups. Working in isolation, or infront of a practitioner, can feel intimidating, which perpetuats the meerkat survival behaviours.

The outward breath is always through an open mouth, supports toning of the vagus nerve (longest cranial nerve which influences breathing, heart rate and digestion). Marrying the breath of the practitioner provides you with evidence that you can change, and do have internal resources to achieve relaxation. This builds energy for trust in self.

2. Becoming Present

The breath brings us into the present moment. This is the place in time where you can proactively create change in your life. This is the neurological space that we can switch from being a meerkat and back into rest and digest (of the parasympathetic nervous system). When we activate this switch, we regain access to reintegrate our brain function, to access the neocortex and pre frontal cortex.

3. Learning to Trust

An integrated brain means that your capacity for analysing the issue, identifying solutions to feel safe can begin. When we feel safe in the space of purposeful breath, we are creating capacity for learning to trust in our individual abilities.

Often when I work with employers or teachers, I take them through a variety of relaxtion techniques after revisiting purposeful breath. Actively demonstrating how focus, motivation and memory all improve with these simple mindful breathing activities enables the client to return to their collective tribe of colleagues or students and share their experiences.

4. Learning To Let Go

Many of the corporate presentations I do, involve introducing how the brain works at a very basic level. I actively discuss the survival switch and meerkat mode. It’s worth noting that I’ve never had anyone NOT connect with that anxious or overwhelmed feeling.

At every single presentation, I ask participants to rate their level of stress. We discuss we’re in a safe space, and I invite them to close their eyes. I take them through some basic breathing techniques as well as some guided meditation to identify and let go of stress. We open our eyes and I check in with how they’re feeling.

Re-introducing participants to their relaxed self is often a surprising revelation for the audience. Their perception that relaxation is hard, has been disproved.

Participants quickly learn to recognise that letting go can be as easy as connecting into themselves, registering where they store stress, and breathing it out.

It’s often not until we have physically overridden the nervous system that we realise how much stress our body has been carrying. The use of the quick breathing technique is often all people require as evidence that they can let go of their stuff in their mental and emotional realm. Afterall overanalysis of thoughts and feelings wastes a lot of physical energy.

5. Do Good, Not More

Purposeful breathing is a type of relaxation that is extremely effective when consistently repeated.

At corporate presentations, I find myself discussing strategies with leadership, of the neuro-biological need for regular mindfulness practice to drives higher efficiencies and focus in staff.

Asking staff to do more when there is little to no physical/mental capacity is a receipe for disaster.

Asking staff to do good, and supporting them with resources to be good, is in my opinion an ideal space to start.

Conclusion

Relaxation therefore is art and at times complex, because it requires a consistent commitment to undertaking actions that support you feeling safe, being able to trust, and let go.

It’s only when we are present, and not operating a past tense survival program that we can focus on the things you can embrace (rather than control).

During a typical working day, depending on the type of work, you may need to reset your nervous system at regular intervals. Breathing techniques, getting up for water breaks, and changing your visusal field all contribute to resetting your neurological state.

For more information about our survival switch and techniques to defuse it, view my book “This Is My Roar – Transform Your Trauma Tale.” Click here for more information.

Want to read more like this?

Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

How To Stop Making Excuses & Start Living Your Best Life – Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

What Is My Dharma?

What Is My Dharma?

by | Jan 7, 2022 | Self Development

Welcome to the personal journey of your Dharma

Have you ever wondered how people manifest anything they want?

Does that leaving you scratching your head wondering where you are at in life?

Dharma is a Sanskrit word which translates to ‘right direction’. Therefore when you actively explore your dharma, you are immersing yourself into a quest to gain perspective of your purpose, passion and power. This exploration is an assessment of whether you are pointing true north in your journey life and fulfilling your highest purpose.

Your dharma isn’t something you search for or find outside of yourself.

“Everyone has a purpose in life…a unique gift or special talent to share with others” – Unknown source

Exploring your dharma enables you to:

  • Define your dharma through observation of you living your precious life
  • Understand how you honour your life path, or dharma
  • Create a mission statement to remind you how to remain on true course, always pointing north.

When we are connected to our dharma, even though life can throw us experiences that generate emotional high or low responses, we can remind ourselves of our true purpose. This enables us to celebrate the wins, to accept the defeats or lessons being learnt.

Acceptance of our dharma provides an energetic space to expand and create balance in our lives. The dharma intention you create enables you to build the platform from which you ground into. Re-evaluation of your dharma is like inspecting the footings of your home, ensuring strength and support to move forward.

Embracing our dharma creates a desire, deep within, that keeps us pointed to our true north. Your dharma starts with connecting to you heart space which seeds positive thoughts.

You might be scratching your head wondering where you could make a start on exploring your dharma! Let me share some tips!

“Your dharma is not a career, or a project, or a certain role you play. It’s the unique vibration that your soul carries to everything that you do and every way that you are.” —Sahara Rose

10 Tips to Discover Your Personal Dharma

1. Pay attention to shows up (ie synchronicity)

The universe / god (call this what you want), is very good at guiding you, giving you a nudge or two and even providing a trail!

I recommend you pay attention to what or who keeps showing up in your life. When someone or something shows up over and over, it’s likely that this is tied to your dharma.

2. Accept invitations from spirit

You can label these invitations ‘callings‘. The invitation calls to things that you feel deep inside, that guide you. The trick with callings is to remind yourself that sometimes they don’t necessarily make sense to anyone else but you.

Remember this is often a gut based feeling, rather than something you’rethinking. Callings are preparation for connecting with your dharma, or life purpose.

4. Your journey path is not a straight line

The path to your connecting with your dharma is not straight, and can spiral into a myriad of directions. It can even feel like a rollercoaster of ups and downs!

Spirit has a funny sense of humor. For just when you think you’ve connected with your dharma, spirit is likely to throw you a curve ball with a new challenge and lesson to learn.

Let me give you the tip, it helps a bunch to flow with this process, and where required, surrender to the notion that the journey isn’t always forward or as you expect.

5. Make friends with the unknown & unexpected

It’s important to know that connection to your dharma can be push or pull you into a myriad of directions that aare unexpected, unknown and ometimes uncomfortable.

There’s no point trying to control the path that you’re on. The trick i becoming a mastermind at going with the flow.

6. Create a connection ritual that aligns you to spirit

The trick with this tip is to figure out how best to nurture your soul. Implement simple small actions like yoga, meditation, coluring, painting or walking in nature.

I find any activity that connects you to your heart space is all it takes to align to your truth. Your heart space is where you’ll locate the information about your dharma.

7. A cup of courage is required to walk on the wild side

Discovering your dharma is sometimes not a cake walk. It requires you to embrace your moxie!

I encourage you to call upon a higher level of universal trust. Here’s another way of looking at this connection … you are a precious child of the universe. So when you commence connecting with your dharma, you are rejoining your spiritual tribe.

8. Be patience and kind with your self

Your dharma is not something you can catch, take a pill, make magically appear,  or generate a quick fix.  Connection with your dharma is a life long  journey.

They key is to take small steps, then stride,  then leap, and then allow yourself breathe deeply.

You know the old saying, patience is virtue.

Wrap Up

According to Sahara Rose “if you’re not living your dharma, you may experience feelings of being stuck—like you’re taking action, but not really moving forward. The future doesn’t excite you. You’re surviving rather than thriving.”

Does this resonate for you?

The symptoms of stuck can feel like anxiety, depression, unworthiness, or just feeling off and not yourself. I know from personal experience, that when you are live life in accordance with your dharma, you learn to experience the sensation of acceptance with who you are. You learn to enjoy expressing and sharing your unique gifts with the world. There is so much personal power associated with this connection.

Perhaps by sharing these tips is you can see your callings, journeys and even seeming missteps can be coalesced into a pathway toward your personal dharma.

Maybe the next time you hit the pause button and take time out for yourself, ask yourself the following question – what is the change that you so deeply want to see in the world?

Any answer is an important clue to discover your personal dharma, your sacred duty, your mission here on earth. The more clues you discover, the greater  the opportunity to shine your light bright!

If you are inspired, I invite you to book at Dharma Meditation Session and explore your why!

Want to read more like this?

Self Reflection – A little Look Within – click here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself? – Click here

How To Stop Making Excuses & Start Living Your Best Life – Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, and self-confessed laughaholic. She is an avid Breast Cancer Advocate residing in Gippsland Victoria Australia. She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland