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Do you look good in orange

Do you look good in orange

Ask yourself this question next time you’re about to lose it

I had a client exclaim in her clinic session the other day that she was ready to kill someone. Namely one of her family members.

Don’t worry. She’s not a serial killer. And I took the opportunity to remind her that losing your shit causes you to wear orange and heavy duty bracelets!

It’s just that her frustration had escalated so significantly and tipped over into a space of unregulated emotion — namely anger and rage.

She had become a volcano head – ready to explode at any moment, fuming and seething with barely contained disdain. She was exactly like a volcano before it erupted, just smoking away frightening the local townsfolk -namely her family. Her emotional state was exceptionally volatile and she felt completely out of control.

There are numerous things that lead us to feel frustrated. Here are some examples:

  • Feeling not heard within a conversation or space
  • expectations not met despite your best planning efforts
  • juggling too many balls in the air at any given time

Frustration is likely to be the top layer of a feeling. There will be more emotion beneath that has not been spoken, expressed, or given air. It’s highly likely that you may not even be consciously aware of all that is festering beneath the surface.

Frustration can have a voice of its own. A voice that rants, raves and yells uncontrollably. A voice that speaks often from a sense of stagnation or helplessness, an inability to make things happen in the way that someone wants.

The vibrational frequency of frustration means that those feelings of unmet expectation can rapidly escalate to anger or rage in the blink of an eye.

Need some tips to release frustration?

Frustration is often a kinetic energy. This means frustration is a moving emotion, and you’re unlikely to be able to sit still with it. Additionally, you are likely to require some movement to shift the sensation of the unwelcome negative-based emotion. Moving your mouth will commence activation of the release, but you are likely to continue to feel frustration deeply within your body.

1. Stay present

When we feel uncertain about something, this can be likened to triggering an unconscious fear. Therefore our human reaction is that we tend to want to control the process or outcome. This is driven by fear of the unknown, uncertainty, or loss of control. It’s an emotion that is based on the future tense.

When you can remain present, you’re not activating the neurological survival program that drives you to start planning all of those contingencies in your head to counteract the undoubted and misperceived doom you’re stressing about.

2. Accept you are human

Our human existence mandates that we are always gathering data from our experiences. Our brain gathers sensory data of what we see, hear and feel. What also happens is that our brain attaches an emotional response to the sensory data, and creates a program.

This allows your brain to simply respond when an experience is repeated without having to recreate the same program. When we re-experience an emotional response, our brain simply reactivates the survival reaction that was originally created.

Why?? Because change is a constant in our lives. Our brain has a wonderful compensation program to reduce the need for reprograming everything, and therefore screen out what it perceives as useless detail.

Change is a gift. A gift to learn more. A gift to evolve. A gift to flow and receive/give more through our life. I am referring to the gift of shifting or relearning the subconscious survival reactions to create positive change in your life.

However, if your expectation is unrealistic — that you want the outcome to be perfect the first time — you’re setting yourself up for heartache. We weren’t born and then ran within hours of birth.

You’re not a horse. You are human.

You must first engage your neural pathways to create patterns and habits, rather than stumble, trip or fall. In turn, this trains the brain muscles to move you into new experiences of attempting to walk in new ways without falling. You learn to step out of your survival reaction, refine your resilience and then move forward metaphorically.

3. Manage Expectations

When you place an unrealistic expectation in relation to that experience you attempt something the first time and there is failure, two things happen. You doubt yourself.

Doubt makes you feel big emotions associated with failure when you don’t meet the expected outcome. You shame yourself subconsciously in relation to not achieving. This can lead to diminished self-worth and a misperception of insecurity. This doubt expands your fear of trying again and failing, rather than simply feeling safe or confident enough to make another attempt to achieve the experience.

4. Acknowledge your beliefs

Think back to when you were younger. Were you raised a winner?

I’m being serious now.

Set the snoopy snigger aside, and reflect on whether you were raised with ‘tough love’ or ‘all participants receive a reward’?

Your response links to the previous point and the potential expectations you developed from childhood about how things should be. Your beliefs and values influence your bias, what you know to be true. These aspects of your psyche also influence your behavioural patterning.

When your perceived expectations are not met, this will generate a negative emotional response. This reaction is often subconscious and not something we can initially control. This reaction reaffirms the fear to be true.

Continually failing to meet expectations can generate bad behaviour within ourselves, and worse, trigger misperceptions in others about who we are. In other words, it can quickly lead to a misperception of feeling, or worse feeling judged.

In this circumstance, before you lose it ask yourself the Byron Katie question in relation to the unrealistic expectation — “Is this real?”

This singular and powerful question allows you to acknowledge that the old reactive belief (based on the survival reaction) may now be outdated or no longer serve you. This acknowledgement allows you to step out of the old non-serving program, and release the negativity of frustration, anger and rage. It allows you to choose a different emotional outlook.

Our old programmed survival reactions drive the negativity of frustration and anger. Ignoring the signals this emotion generates, allows the energy of it to build.

As the frustration escalates, your capacity to remain calm diminishes, because your survival reaction is heightened. This is the mental and emotional tipping point of whether you change the colour of your outfits — can you walk away or do you find yourself reacting and later regretting?

Conclusion

Consider implementing one of the suggested actions should you experience those moments of intense frustration, anger, or rage and don’t want to wear an orange jumpsuit!!

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

Need a taste of calm?

Click here to enjoy Karen’s latest 
freebie offer.

Enjoy this program’s short presentation, which includes the experience of a meditative hypnotic recording to support resetting your calm.

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and training Resource Therapist. She’s also a published author. 

She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

How To Beat Sunday Scaries

How To Beat Sunday Scaries

Three strategies to overcome dread and avoidance of a new week

Does this happen to you? You have a ripper weekend, jam-packed with adventure(s), excitement and joy bubbles, only to arrive at your Sunday afternoon and then, meh?

Does the arrival of Sunday night generate a sensation of reluctance, anxiety or even dread?

My clients tell me they dread Sundays and Monday mornings. Their complaints mirror that of mild allergic reactions! They report overthinking all the things. They overanalyse tasks or encounters. They tell me they experience shortness of breath with their panic!

Let’s combat that crap because next week isn’t here yet!

I was listening to Mel Robbins on an Instagram live the other day and she referred to this feeling as the Sunday Scaries! It’s an appropriate reference when you think about it.

Of course, we would all love to have longer weekends and sloth our lives away. But if you’re anything like me you’d soon get bored and seek creative stimulation.

Here are three things you can do to release, delete and let go of the Sunday scaries

Let go of expectations of what will happen this coming week.

This type of thought process is based on the future-based time reference. You can’t change what hasn’t happened yet. Additionally, when we have negative thoughts about the future, it’s often linked to a fear of something unknown, unforeseen, or uncertain.

You don’t want to be entertaining negative thoughts. You certainly don’t want to be investing your mental energy and accidentally intending an experience you fear!

Let go of expecting you will complete everything on your to-do list.

As one overachiever talking to another, let’s get this fact out in the open. It’s virtually impossible to tick everything off your to-do list. There I said it and the world didn’t implode!

If you’re getting ready to argue with me, let me ask you these qualifying questions

Just how hard would you have to flog yourself in order to get everything done?

  • What do you really gain by ticking everything off the list this week other than fatigue?
  • What do you fear happening if you don’t finish?
  • Will you likely shame yourself or be unkind, or worse feel like a failure if you don’t finish?
  • And frankly, why would you want to insert yourself into such a state of stress that you’re half dead once you’re finished??

Perhaps instead you could start to ask yourself, what could I do right now in this moment and stick with that single task until it’s finished?

Maybe you could tackle the hardest thing on your list? Perhaps you could smash out all the easy tiny things first?

Pick one strategy and try it this week.

Create a positive mindset and focus on how you want to feel at the end of next week.

Take a few moments to picture in your mind what you want to feel and allow your imagination to create the sensory experience of how you will look, feel, hear or even taste Friday afternoon.

I invite you to activate your imagination and ask yourself the following:

  • How might that feel in your body?
  • What might you see (perhaps yourself ticking off all the things on your list)?
  • What could you see yourself doing if you felt like you accomplished something rather than just surviving another week?

You can choose a calm approach to the week ahead. This choice shifts your mindset from a negative outlook to a positive one.

When you choose a calm approach you are creating opportunities to go with the flow and achieve more than you ever expected. When you are calm you can focus more readily on the task at hand.

When you are calm, your thoughts are clear and often concise. You tend not to wander off on tangents or get distracted. The problem-solving parts of your brain remain in solution orientation rather than survival.

This type of calm mindset allows you to be kind to yourself and slow down enough to listen to your body’s signals — when do you need to do more or perhaps when do you need to slow down and rest?

Resting isn’t a sign of weakness. You’re preparing the body and the mind to reset and recharge and become ready once more for another round of life experiences!

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

Need a taste of calm? Enjoy Karen’s latest freebie offer –click here.

Enjoy this program’s short presentation includes the experience of a meditative hypnotic recording to support resetting your calm.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

5 Ways To Boost Belief In Self

5 Ways To Boost Belief In Self

Pick yourself up when the doubt starts to lurk

Living our human experience, we are firstborn without the capacity for anything more sophisticated than the basics — eat, poop, sleep and scream for attention.

Sometimes we forget this — we didn’t learn to walk and talk straight away. All these new skills take time to explore, attempt, fail, and develop. We don’t master perfection of these small actions, we practice and fall over and pick ourselves up — over and over again.

Developing our beliefs (defined as “an acceptance that something exists or is true”) about ourselves is just like walking. Our self-belief is an evolution of thought, reflection and acceptance of who we are. This changes and evolves throughout our entire life.

Yet as we age and mature we are exposed to experiences that challenge us. Some of these challenges even trigger us, and we have to work hard to acknowledge the trigger and heal.

Sometimes just pausing and mindfully breathing is enough to bring you back into the present moment. This takes practice.

Fundamentally though, we need to believe that our abilities can be developed to overcome the hurdle we face. Without that belief we have no hope. Without hope, what’s the actual point?

When we don’t initially succeed, a seed of doubt can get sewn. When you keep fertilising that seed on the unconscious level, the doubt can smack you so quickly. It’s at this point we unknowingly sabotage ourselves.

To minimise your tendency to sabotage, you need to be proactive in managing your belief in self.

So how can you proactively boost ‘belief’ in yourself? 

1. Practice positive self-talk

Gift yourself encouraging words. This is especially a healthy practice when you can catch yourself thinking or speaking something negative. When you can instantly acknowledge low vibration or negativity, and reframe with something positive you can instantly transform your emotional vibration.

Positive self-talk can also be boosted with the use of affirmations which create a positive and intentional mindset.

2. Set achievable goals

I’m a big advocate of trying to achieve good things in your life. Here’s the thing, I coach people to dream big and create tiny actions (that later become habits) that are super easy to achieve.

When you break down larger goals into a list of small actions, that are more achievable you quickly build confidence and belief in your abilities. You are more likely to achieve small wins on the board which will contribute to your motivation to continue when the actions get a little tougher and more challenging as you progress.

3. Celebrate every success

When we implement those tiny actions (mentioned above) and have tiny wins — celebrate it all. Celebrate everything. Be sure to make the time to acknowledge every single little accomplishment, no matter how small they may seem.

You’ll gift yourself a dopamine hit and be your own cheerleader. Play your favourite song. Tick the job off the list. Pump yourself up with the little things. Before you know it, you’re ticking off all the things from your ‘to-do’ list.

4. Surround yourself with positivity

When self-doubt kicks in, you can feel incredibly isolated. This can exacerbate your sensation of lowered self-worth.

I’ve learnt over the years to include positive people in my tribe. They build me up when my knees shake or the nervous agitation rises.

I choose to surround myself with people who support and encourage me. They enquire about and track my progress. We debrief with each other’s projects and dreams.

So be sure to seek out positive and uplifting people and environments.

5. Embrace failure as a learning opportunity

We learn to walk by first figuring out how to roll, then crawl, then rise and step forward. This process isn’t without falls, slips and trips and the odd face splat.

But should you quit attempting to walk because you fall? Repeat the steps advised above, and reframe the experience — what did I just learn? Where can I make small changes or implement small actions?

Instead of letting failure bring you down, view it as a chance to learn and grow, and use it to fuel your belief in yourself.

Conclusion

Enjoy playing with these small tips and tricks to pick yourself up when the doubt starts to lurk. Belief in self is one of the most powerful actions you can gift yourself to live your best life.

You really can choose to change and bloom from within.

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Self Reflection – A little Look Withinclick here

8 Hot Tips How To Journal – click here

Can You Risk Not Stepping Up To Mother yourself?Click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

Can Counting Really Defuse Overwhelm?

Can Counting Really Defuse Overwhelm?

Could this be the easiest technique to soothe self?

Honestly, I never would have thought that a counting technique could soothe the symptoms of overwhelm, panic and anxiety so quickly as this gem.

Most people who experience this phenomenon don’t realise that when experiencing stress, you have activated a subliminal fear-based neurological program called ‘survival’. Generally, this patterning is derived from something in your past.

Survival programs anchor your sensory response with emotions from a moment in time when you first experienced a place, person or situation(s) that made you feel unsafe.

When we experience stress, we activate a state of neurological survival and deactivate our normal sensory response. This means that our brains utilise as little data as possible to ascertain whether we should fight, flee or freeze. There’s no ‘big picture’ being assessed in those moments after being triggered.

Once you’ve activated survival, you can feel ungrounded and untethered. This unsettles us neurologically from the perspective that we’ve disconnected from our internal compass that points north. We can feel uncentered or cut off from our hearts.

It’s at this point that the overthinking and over-analysis begins. The result is we get stuck in our heads. All that mental energy drives the sympathetic nervous system into overdrive and the panic button is internally pushed.

What’s actually going on, is the mental energy from too many thoughts creates a glitch in the neural network. I liken overthinking to chaos. Until there is a relief valve to siphon off this energy, it simply builds. This is why you can feel overwhelmed without an escape.

You’re using all your mental energy to find a solution for something that’s likely to not even be real. Additionally, as soon as we start strategising about ways to control the problem doing laps inside our head, we’ve moved away from the present moment, and have anchored fear of the future. Our head is now in the clouds with worry about the future.

This is what it feels like to be ungrounded and disconnected from your feelings of the heart.

The Laws of Nature dictate that we can only ever make change in one reference of time — right now in the present. You can’t go back into the past and change anything there, and you can only wait for the future.

The following grounding technique of 54321 is a beautiful and gentle way to settle yourself back into your body. When operating from your heart, you can bring yourself back to a state of internal calm.

Essentially this breath is utilising a self-hypnosis technique promoting you use your breath to re-engage your sensory response.

Here’s the grounding technique

The technique begins with recognising you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious and taking yourself somewhere quiet.

Five

Take a deep slow breath in. I instruct my clients to count the number as they go. This is a distraction technique away from the overwhelming and annoying thoughts and brings you back into the present moment.

Release your breath slowly and breathe as if through a straw. A slower outward breath sedates the vagus nerve and gut. This signals to the survival program (perhaps I’m actually safe and calm down).

State to yourself “relax” as you breathe out.

Repeat five times.

Four

Open your eyes and look around where you are. Name four things you can see.

The trick here is literally just to observe the space around you. You’re utilising the sense of vision to really look at your reality in the present moment and verify there’s no sabre-toothed tiger in front of you. You are safe.

It’s worth noting that the visual processing centre is partially shut down whilst a survival program is run. This means you lose quality information from your peripheral visual field and look around your space like a meerkat (ie you’re moving your head to look around you).

Three

Name three things you can hear, either inside or outside the room. There’s no judgement required here, and the act of listening is gathering further evidence of what and where are sounds coming from and whether are they a threat.

When you can recognise sounds in the distance, you’ll undoubtedly take a long slow deep breath of relief — “hey I’m actually ok”.

You can even tell yourself “In this moment I’m ok!

Two

Name two things you can smell. Please note this may be very subtle, and you may simply smell your clothes.

One

Pause and take another slow deep breath. Re-assess how you’re feeling. Have you calmed down, even just a little bit?

I do recommend repeating the process for at least a second or third time. You will be stunned by how much more you will observe what the senses are detecting.

Why?

Because when you bring yourself into the present moment, you are inserting a circuit breaker into your survival program. This defuses the intensity of mental energy swirling around in your head, and grounds you back into your body quickly.

Repeating the 54321 cycle several times takes less than 2 minutes. Therefore it works faster than any medication and can be used anywhere.

Conclusion

This isn’t a once-off strategy tool and your anxiety will be sorted. However, this is a tool you can utilise anytime and anywhere to soothe yourself. I’ve provided my regular audience access to a video + worksheet via the following link below should you wish to experience regrounding yourself right now.

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Practice The Pause  – click here

5 Ways to Boost Self – click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Change Facilitator. She is a qualified Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland
New Doesn’t Last

New Doesn’t Last

5 Ways To Slay Overwhelm When Learning

When learning something new, not familiar, but completely new, do you remain confident? Or does the anxiety kick in when you didn’t understand the first sentence uttered by the educator?

There’s a good and valid reason why NEW can feel overwhelming.

I’ve been doing heaps of retraining this year. Most of the techniques and content I’m absorbing are familiar to me. But there are occasions my shizzle shows, and the anxiety kicks in.

When I was in high school I seriously struggled with learning. Over the years, I’ve come to learn that for the most part, I am a combined VAKOG learner.

This means when I can see something demonstrated, hear the instructions, and get my hands on the thing (ie touch), then I can easily understand.

There are occasions when I learn something completely new, I struggle — not because of the teaching style but because there is too much ‘new’ all at once — I go into overwhelm.

The reality is most people experience this, and it’s normal.

When there are a lot of new concepts or content that is outside of my realm of understanding/experience, my confidence gets a good reminder that I’m human.

This can feel like an arse kicking! But I’m the sort of person who uses that feeling to boost my determination to conquer the NEW.

I use my tools like breathwork and grounding to ‘try again’.

For others, when learning something new, the confidence meter can take a hit early on in the learning process. When the confidence is lowered, the motivation to learn isn’t high — and this is where people then begin to emotionally dysregulate.

When we feel like our buttons are being pushed, the feelings can be very big. This triggers our flight-fight response, and we activate our subliminal survival program.

When in survival, we don’t create detailed memories of what we are meant to be learning, but we do remember how those big feelings felt. Awful. Overwhelming.

Remembering those big feelings reactivates the survival program, and it’s at this time you create the foundation for anxiety if the big emotions aren’t expressed or sorted out.

When working clinically, I find myself reminding clients of the following tips to combat “NEW” fatigue. That’s simply something I made up, but when I see it over and over, frankly it’s worth calling it a thing!

5 ways to combat “NEW” and Slay overwhelm

1. Remind yourself it’s new

Sometimes you need a reality check when the crazy eyes start to show. Have you ever held a newborn baby? It’s helpless, but so darn cute. There’s no way this tiny person can walk — it takes time!

2. Keep practicing

You didn’t learn to walk overnight. Keep practicing this thing that you’re learning. You don’t learn and perfect something on the first attempt. It’s just not neurobiologically possible.

3. Identify one thing

When learning, if you experience overwhelm, it pays to keep your focus on just one thing at a time. The more you repeat a process, even if it’s not perfect, is creating neural muscle memory. When you reflect on your attempts, you’ll come to realize that each time you’ve probably become progressively better.

4. Deal with perfectionism

Some people experience anxiety when their attempt doesn’t achieve a perfect result. Sometimes you must pause and ask yourself “Is done better than perfect?” If your answer is that you need outcomes to perfect, then address that belief because it’s highly likely that a fear of failure is lurking in your subconscious.

5. Identify when ‘good’ is enough

Remember when you learned to drive, and bunny-hopped that manual car all the way down the driveway? Cue the humiliatingly hilarious memories and the car’s brakes squealing as you suddenly came to a screeching halt.

Am I right?

Remind yourself that you are human. Remind yourself that to learn and do new things, you must create new neural pathways to generate muscle memory. This means you have to practice, over and over again.

At some point, you have to accept that any good attempt is a great start. Continued efforts of good attempts are trying with a positive attitude, so you’re contributing happiness deposits into the confidence account.

The more positive attempts, the more you are likely to enjoy the practice. The more positive the good attempt is the higher the chance you will learn the task or lesson quicker and recall easily.

Conclusion

The best thing to combat the overwhelm generated by new experiences is to remind yourself that “this too shall pass”.

NEW doesn’t last forever.

You just have to allow a bit of time and a little patience to create the neural pathways to cope as you learn.

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Practice The Pause  – click here

5 Ways to Boost Self – click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Change Facilitator. She is a qualified Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland

The Darkest Days

The Darkest Days

Ride The Winter Solstice Energetic Wave

Many dread and fear the season of winter. The darkness, or perhaps lack of light, is the physical reminder that there’s no escaping a season of impending hibernation.

A depression sets in as the trees begin to change colour and shed their leaves. The wind breathes deeply, and the temperature drops. It’s at this point the dread arrives with the cold, crisp air.

But what if you could embrace seasonal evolution? 

What if you could utilise the winter solstice as a time of deep contemplation and reflection?

Living in alignment with nature and it’s cycles, supports our own celebration of the internal mind and body rhythms. We naturally sync our internal world to our external. This can illuminate the path to the connection of your true north.

We all have an innate knowing of the changes we need to make in order to adapt to the season and changing external environment.

  1. Construct an evergreen wreath to hang inside
  2. Clear away all debris from your front door
  3. Create a candle alter
  4. Journal what you have achieved so far this year
  5. Sit in front of a log fire or flames

Create a fire ritual

A colleague was recently sharing one of her solstice rituals is Fire Gazing. The act of simply watching an open fire can be deeply relaxing, as well as being a very simple form of meditation. 

What I didn’t realise, is fire gazing is an excellent tonic for your Kidney energy/chi. Your Kidney and Bladder meridians (energetic communication pathways) are the most active during Winter and the ones to nurture during this cold period. 

Most of my clients don’t realise that our kidneys store the energy of fear.

If you don’t have an outdoor fire pit, utilise several candles as a cluster, group. You can even create an alter. I recommend night time with all the other sources of light turned off is best as then you can truly focus on the flames. 

Do it alone, or if you’re with someone, do it in silence. Enjoy the vibrant rhythmic dance of the flames.

Picture my hypnotic voice inviting you to allow your gaze to soften whilst you watch the flames flicker … breathe slowly in and out, allowing your mind to quieten. In this moment, thoughts can simply come and go, flowing with each breathe.

No one wanting anything from you. 

No one needing anything from you in this moment.

Looking at those flames flicker, and just surrender to your breath.

Allow your imagination to wander… allow yourself to drop deeper and deeper into contemplation. 

Gift yourself permission to not need any expectations. Just let go of every day thoughts and allow the flames to transport you.

Simply allow a profound sense of rest to wash over you, as you watch the flames flicker.

Allow the flames to transport you to feel rooted to the Earth and all her elements.

Our love of watching fires contains a potency which can transport you to a deep ancestral memory that evokes a sense of safety and belonging. Our tribal self has visceral memories of gathering around a fire to cook, eat, connect and commune.

The perception of safety comes from not feeling alone. The warmth of the flames invokes an internal security.

All of these feelings of community can create a beautiful connection to your Kidney energy/chi which is the storehouse of your vitality. When you feel safe, you restore your adrenal energy to feel good.

I’ve been doing this little ritual since the longest night of the year, the Winter Solstice. But the energy of winter, and the ensuing hibernation is perfect to possibly anchor in what you want to leave in the depths of the cold as we start to head out to longer days.

Conclusion

However you decide to explore your darkest days, think about incorporating a fire ritual into your life! Drop me a line with how it works for you!

Listen to this blog as a podcast episode on the I Am Change-ing Podcast.

First published with Illumination, a Medium Publication. Click here this piece.

Want to read more like this?

This is My Roarsigned copies of my first published book can be purchased from this website.

Practice The Pause  – click here

5 Ways to Boost Self – click here

About Karen

Change Facilitator

Karen Humphries is a Change Facilitator. She is a qualified Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, LEAP & NES Practitioner, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and published author. She is a self-confessed laughaholic.  She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ 

Karen Humphries, Change Chick, Change Facilitator, Kinesiology, Wellness Coach, Australian Bush Flower Essences, LEAP Facilitator, Trauma, Public Speaker, Cancer Ambassador, Blooming From Within, Traralgon, Victoria, Gippsland