So, the Winter Solstice has been and gone. That shortest day of the year seems to bring people undone in a myriad of ways. Low energy. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Invested in the drama of others. Fed up. Unmotivated. Does this sound like you?
It’s ok you know, it’s been a ripper shift this year due to the numerological significance of this year beginning a new nine-year cycle. For some it can feel like all of our old stuff has come to the surface and BAM suddenly we’re faced with a truckload of stuff.
You know what? I think that’s great. I am a fan of digging deep and shifting our stuff, as opposed to wallowing in the negativity of my old patterns and habits. I would always prefer to get in, acknowledge, shift, and release and step out of the gunk – as quickly as possible to learn the lesson.
As a practitioner, I am not into fluffing around on the surface. I support you to dig deep into the old pattern, so you gain awareness and opportunities to change. Sometimes we don’t allow ourselves to shift or experience opportunities of awareness because it hurts. It can be painful and difficult. It can feel heavy and draining. Generally speaking, no one actively chooses the hard way – or do they?
Sometimes our best opportunity for growth is when we are under the pump, stuck at a T-intersection and forced to make a choice. Sometimes our journey path events stop us in our tracks. We have to give way to something. Sometimes we have to make a choice to change.
Sometimes the bottom of that perceived deep dark hole, the uncomfortable space you’re in, is the perfect space for active change.
That horrible space of stuck, and what feels like no choice or possible actions. It’s sometimes the only place where your choice is to look up, and see the light from that deep dark place, and question yourself with the following question –
“Do I stay the same? Or do I put my big girl pants on, suck it up, and gulp, give “change” a go?”
I have a profound understanding of that dark place. I get the turmoil that one feels when in this place. I understand the conflict caused by the logic mind wanting to change, but the feelings centre being unmotivated to change. I completely get the turmoil of the mind wanting to change and feel well, and the feelings smothered by overwhelming thoughts most of which are often commonly negative and self sabotaging.
My journey has included ten years of active Crohns disease with ulcerative colitis, paired with endometriosis. My internal world was a mess and if I am going to be honest with you, a reflection of my lack of love for self and the consequential head space that it created. It was an internal reflection of an incredible amount of stress. Reflection of that time in my life is not one I am comfortable with, but it is a chapter in my book of life which I accept. I look back upon that time in my life and I’m definitely grateful for the opportunity to be in charge of my own change process.
Looking back, one of the gifts that these health challenges gave me was this – I understand and appreciate the depth of my strength and resilience and willingness to live, not just exist. I listen to my body and whilst I push against my boundaries I do not cross my limits. I now listen, a lot. I now consider my body a sacred temple and it gets cared for.
I’ll quote Harry Massey in his book, “Choice Point – Align Your Purpose”…
“change is possible, and it starts with each of us in our hearts and minds”
I honestly believe, based on my own life experiences and training, that ‘choosing to change‘, is half the battle of realigning our health and wellbeing. This belief and understanding is based on the premises, that when we resonate our lives in love our frequencies are positive. We have the opportunity to be grateful and our lives are abundant because the universe reflects back to us what we show the world our love for self.
love for self = your light shines brightly
Those who know me, understand that I will check in with my heart space, my ‘feel goods’ (that good juju) and where possible where any arising negativity arises within me I address it. Because knowledge is power. If I can gain an awareness of why something doesn’t align within me, I can accept the issue (misalignment), own that negative emotional reaction. I can utilise kinesiology, wellness coaching, journaling, meditation, or even use eft tapping to defuse the emotion and where possible identify the source. Where possible I can relate that emotion to an event or pattern. This is the “aha moment”, when you get to own your stuff. The trick though is you must be open enough consciously to first see your own stuff!
When you first start having AHA moments it often feels like a snow shovel at the back of the head when that hits you. It’s not pleasant, but neither is standing in a fresh pile of large dog poo! Ewwwww.
The other thing to remember, is that it’s often easier to see the negative stuff in others, because you have no emotional attachment to it. It might push your buttons and triggers, but this is a subtle way of the universe giving you a signal that some of the stuff in the other person that upsets you, is in you too.
What if I told you that you can avoid the dog poo scenario? Got your attention yet? What if I told you that you don’t have to play shit sandwich tennis with toxic people? Are you sitting up in your chair? What if I told you change is possible using tools like those spoken about in Law Of Attraction?
What if I told you it starts with a choice point of deciding you want to change. It’s that simple and yet so far reachingly powerful.
“The big change we have to make is a shift from our love of power to embracing the power of love.” Harry Massey
Everyone can identify with hitting a cross roads in their life. Being a wellness and business coach has certainly taught me that and I support both clinical and corporate clients to change their mindset on this. A cross roads does not have to be a bad thing. You can use this as an opportunity to reboot. To utilise the resources within your shadow self that you haven’t yet shone light on.
A cross road is simply a choice point. A challenge is merely a speed hump you haven’t applied the solution to. Do you continue the same life, same attitudes, same behaviours and patterns. OR do you choose a different path? You get to choose you.
Here’s my 5 top tips for starting the process and supporting yourself to choose you!
1. Decide on one aspect of life that you would like to change
This might include identifying something in life where you are unhappy or uncomfortable. You don’t necessarily need to know how to make the changes, you simply have to decide that change is what you want. You might choose what blocks your happiness, or even what makes you sad and depressed? Or go nuts and ask yourself “why aren’t I grateful?”
2. Be gentle with yourself
You have spent a life time creating the habits you presently have. There is no magic wand to make your stuff disappear. Just like you built your patterns over time, so too will the unwinding process as you become more consciously aware of what it is you built. So be gentle as you explore the layers and the weaving of your stuff. It’s ok. We all have stuff to be explored.
Remember not all of our patterns are negative. The triggers may be very subtle or miniscule even, but that can be enough to bring us undone. So, before you fall fetal on the floor with self sabotage or remorse, be kind to yourself and take an opportunity to explore what is the actual lesson you are learning? The process starts with a simple acknowledgment of what is it you are feeling?
The more you acknowledge, the easier it gets.
3. Have an open mind
You never know when the universe will gift you with an opportunity to see more of the pattern you want to change. You’ll be gifted with scenarios and people specifically designed to help you consciously connect with your feelings. Because you have chosen to change the path might be new, therefore old ways of thinking, doing and believing may go out the window and you might have to ‘go with it’.
4. Journal out the negative crap from your head
The monkey chatter inside your head is not real. It’s just a storage of your perception (or misperception if you will) of what is happening in the outside world based on a combination of your conscious and genetic behaviour coding. The noisier the monkey chatter, the stronger the ‘mental habit’ of not resolving an emotional upset. Did you know you literally consume your physical energy to run these mental patterns?
5. Each day is a do-over
Allow each day to be new, rather than allowing stuff from yesterday to fester in your thoughts. The gift of a new day is that you get to try your best – again. The more you practice your perfection, the more opportunities you are granting yourself to be grateful for the good juju in your life.
There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging a bad day, and then leaving it there where it belongs – in the past. Keep moving forward with your mindset.
6. Concentrate on today, not about tomorrow
For tomorrow never ever comes, because you are missing the NOW opportunities. When we place our focus on right now time stands still. You aren’t in the past, nor are you in the future. You are in that time continuum of right now. Often when in this space, the mind is clear, the heart space is open to receiving love, you are connected to self and receiving messages.
When operating in the now, you are maximising your opportunities to be grateful. The more gratitude we connect with, the more we can increase our ability to manifest abundance in our lives.
7. Believe you are not alone in this process. Everyone has stuff
But your stuff and patterns are unique to you. So, no one can truly understand your stuff. You have to walk your path not that of another. Remember if you feel yourself getting caught up in the drama of others, you are no longer actively working on you. You are investing your mental energy into problem solving the stuff of others.
Support others by loving them, but allow them the gift of working through their stuff on their own.
8. Seek support when you struggle
It’s ok to ask for support. All drivers can utilise the benefit of navigator or map reader from time to time. You service the car to ensure it runs, consider servicing your body with good nutrition, hydration, massage, meditation, talking therapies or even kinesiology and wellness coaching.
My wish for you, as you walk your journey path, is that you can bloom from within – just by choosing to change xxx