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What I Learnt From An 8 Week Meditation Class

What I Learnt From An 8 Week Meditation Class

Embracing your heart space saves your life

I sat in on my last online meditation class’s live call this week. A culmination of eight weekly gatherings with like-minded souls to teach us how to connect to our heart space — that sacred space where our intuition resides. The calm and blissfully quiet space centred deeply within that aligns us to all we are.

So what is meditation really? 

‘Traditional Meditation’ is the practise used to calm our mind from the usual chatter that continually goes on.

The regular and consistent practise of meditation allows and empowers us to feel and be calmer with everyday life. It provides us with peace within. My instructor Debbie Rossi states, “meditation allows you to step into a space of clarity, of centeredness and love within our everyday lives”.

Meditation is traditionally used quite simply as a relaxation method. There is scientific evidence that:

  • provides access to your own subconscious and inner knowing
  • lowers anxiety
  • improves sleep
  • clears the mind and sharpens focus
  • can support the ease of depression
  • raises vibrational energy
  • improves happiness by anchoring you more into the ‘now’
  • improves immune function through lowering of cortisol levels (ie stress).

Powerful right? Absolutely yes, especially for someone working through symptoms of PTSD. The lessons from this course have frankly been divinely timed and an absolute godsend.

Easy? Not exactly. In fact, it’s been challenging for someone with ants in their pants, like me, to sit quietly. But what I found is this, the art meditation isn’t limited to sitting in a static yogic position. It can be done whilst walking, hanging out the washing, or even doing the dishes!

Meditation is a means for you to move beyond your analytical mind, so you can access your subconscious mind” — Dr Joe Dispenza

Thanks to the modern-day current fad called mindfulness (of which I am a self-confessed junkie), meditation is now being officially recognised by Western Medicine and scientific research. It is frequently listed as a possible stress-relieving tool and now recommended by GPs to combat the modern illness — stress.

For me what I have learnt from my classes is this, meditation is when I surrender to ordinary thinking. It’s that quiet space whereby I can lay down judgement from thinking. In fact, I can get out out of my head altogether. I can enter my heart space and connect to my divinity.

It’s powerful and timeless, and for me, in these last eight weeks, it’s saved me from destruction. It’s helped me glue together the broken pieces of self, much like kintsugi — the art of repairing broken ceramic dishes with gold because you understand the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.

I am now able to more readily understand, let go and even forgive using meditative techniques. The possibilities in this meditative realm are limitless, and there is only one real requirement — acknowledging consciously what I need in that present moment to understand, know, see, hear, feel or release for my higher good. 

One of the best lessons reinforced is that I can forgive myself for becoming ill.

Meditation has reintroduced me back to the sacredness of my heart space, my divine connection with my higher self. Each time I visit depending upon my mood it is decorated and lit differently. And that is perfectly ok.

Sometimes my sacred space is an open cave with a crystalline roof which opens to the stars, anchoring me to my ancestors. Other times it is a carved stone temple. Once it was a jungle with no roof and smothered in exotic flowers. 

Most of the time it is a cosy quiet space, mood-lit with crystal salt lamps, plush coloured cushions, and curtains to hide the walls and ceiling — so if I choose I can change the landscape beyond if I need to explore deeper answers. 

Sometimes I am drawn down a path, other times I am comfortable remaining in the space and awaiting the truth to flow. There are times where I hear messages or a guide will present themselves. The experience of visiting this place is never the same, and for that I am grateful. This forces my chatty mind to be quiet and pay attention to my exciting surroundings.

Accessing the heart space through meditative breath empowers me to surrender and release unwanted emotions. When I am in that meditative state I am calm and more readily able to release the need to squash the unwanted feelings. 

This is an important skill to have when migrating through PTSD symptoms due to a challenging experience. Being able to meditate whenever and where ever I need has been invaluable in managing anxiety.

It is truly a gift to surrender to stifling the old paradigm stuff and realising that when I choose to process anything arising within the heart space, I gain a much deeper and often universal understanding of the content causing me stress. It is then that I can simply allow things to be.

The old paradigm pattern within me just wanted to control everything. This caused me to miss opportunities, but more importantly, struggle with stuck flight/fight emotions.

This connection to our heart space gifts a deeper understanding and knowledge of self, but also strengthens our connection to our intuition. Imagine stepping purposefully forward each day instead of trudging along with worry? What might your life be like if your heart space was lighter? Or better still imagine if you could get out of your head — how much easier might things flow?


These two months of weekly meditation class has gifted me the knowledge, awareness and connection that I am exactly where I need to be in this moment. I am happily sitting within the silence of my heart space.

What I learnt over 8 weeks of being challenged to commit to daily devotion was this. Connecting to the heart space is this is where I find the answers to the questions I have not yet asked myself — because I was stuck in my head. The worry you invest in becomes like a tired mouse on a wheel, it never goes anywhere but round and round.

I sit with what I need to feel. I connect to my wisdom. I connect to the right now at this moment, not just before and not in the future but right now.


Judgements keep us boxed up tightly. Regularly visiting my heart space breaks through the box walls and shows me a different way to do and embrace reality. Its the place where I get to practice the Law of Mentalism — everything in the universe is created by thoughts. When I calm my thoughts and open my heart, I become the creator of my reality.

Frequently visiting our heart space enables us to shift our vibrational energy, much like topping up a half-full glass of good juju. We practice activating the Law of Vibration. Our prayer, in this instance the feeling we experience in our heart space, attracts a matching vibrational external to us. Love is all there is and life reacts to how much love we hold within ourselves.

This flows onto the Law of Correspondence whereby everything we have within us is reflected beyond, as spirit works on our behalf to bring us what we think and talk about. Every single thought and feeling causes an action/reaction in the world.

My meditation teacher reminded me that we never passively receive the world. Have to say that one smacked me upside the head. It made me think about how complacent I have been with myself. In these last eight weeks, I have changed that around and made myself my own priority.

It is my waking intention first thing in the morning, my check-in throughout the day and my evening gratitude moment before sleep. 

“I am the priority of my life.”

Meditation provides a beautiful mechanism to invoke silence, stillness and solitude within oneself. All of which enables an individual to become more present.

The most profound lesson learnt is that it is safe to drop the external hustle for my business. What I learnt and mean by that is this … I now lead my life led by my heart space. I allow my high vibrational to attract whatever is required to be of service, starting with honouring self first.

I’ll say it again. I surrender to ordinary thinking. When I nurture self, especially with nature immersions I am grounded, centred, focussed, balanced and protected. I don’t invest in external drama but simply remain focussed on dedication to self.

All You Can Ever Do Is Your Best

All You Can Ever Do Is Your Best

I was trolling through my LinkedIn newsfeed this morning and I stumbled across something that stopped me in my tracts by The Female Lead. This caption caught my eye. “Someone needs to see this today.

Talk about a slap upside the head! This resonated viscerally for me.

I’m home-schooling a hormonal monster today that has lost her homework due to a ‘saving’ issue with a word document.

There’s been a frustration tantrum, and everyone is exhausted. It’s just ticked over 9 o’clock, and frankly, I’m ready to exorcise demons from the house or go back to bed.

Today feels like I’m participating in a Tough Mudder race, but I didn’t sign up for the competition!

This article I stumbled across resonated because there is just so much societal pressure these days to get it right. To be the perfect woman or man, wife/husband, and mother/father. I am finding this is especially so during the lockdown. And like so many working parents like myself, who have added home-schooling to their already full task list, there has to be a breaking point somewhere.

Just like this post, there are times when I am happy to admit I have piled various leftovers from multiple previous meals, onto the plate and called it dinner.

Or I’ve cooked up some noodles and padded out leftovers.

Or I’ve made a gravy, mixed it with the leftover roast, dished the new invention into macaroon dishes with puff pastry on top and called it ‘pot pie’.

Tada!

There is one exception between myself and the quoted mother above. I choose not to feel guilt for the picnic or dishing up leftovers. I just don’t have the energy for that bullshit.

I’ll admit, our family has pretended we are at a fancy restaurant and had little dishes of what is left in the fridge. We all got a taste but it wasn’t enough for a meal. So what do you do? You pad it out with whatever else you have! You make do. You have to otherwise food goes to waste or you end up purchasing takeout which does you no real favours.

In my household, we are also known for using the picnic tray a lot. We grab little serving dishes (picked just for the occasion) and organise slithers of this and slices of that with some GF crackers and call it a meal. This is actually a favourite lazy Sunday afternoon when it’s raining outside and we come together to watch a movie.

At the end of the day, I am ok with this. Everyone gets fed. End of story.

This incessant pressure applied through our evolved society sets a false expectation that you have to be the perfect parent and dish up cordon bleu every time. This is utter bollicks and I call BS on it all.

On a good week, when I have scheduled the time, I tend to meal plan out the future week. I also do the majority of cooking and food prep then. This system works.

But there are times it doesn’t for whatever reason, and those weeks are stressful and hurried at mealtime. So you do the best you can. I place the priority on food in mouths rather than not eating.

Given I tend to only purchase healthy food options, my family members can get as creative as they want on those days that I have run out of steam. I have learnt, and I’m getting better at the implementation of waving the white flag of surrender to the mother role and telling my family — today I’m not 100%.

Those are the days that I shelf the guilt and exile myself to the couch to rest. This is probably one of the best things which have happened to me during breast cancer treatment and lockdown — voicing externally to those around me that my batteries are in need of a recharge. I give myself permission to stop.

I no longer see this pause as a failure, or that I’m not good enough. I no longer perceive the act of stopping as not meeting the position description of ‘mother’. I now choose to see this as a gift to self.

Don’t ever think you have to compete with the external image of the ‘perfect plate’ for every single meal – it’s just not real and never will be. It is simply a marketing illusion designed to make you feel bad unless you’re purchasing a certain product.

Just do your best.

And when those picnic moments come along to enjoy your kids’ faces who think they are getting a treat and pat yourself on the back that you got them fed.

Its time to slow down and get out of our heads — you know that space where we overthink and over analyse. Give yourself a treat and step into our heart space where all the feels are. Kick back and charge the battery up.

You can only do your best today and continue to strive to stretch your best tomorrow (if you have the energy to do so)!

Dine In Your Sunshine

Dine In Your Sunshine

The other day I left the house at dawn for my usual wake up walk. Immersion into nature for me is the best way to ground and illuminate my senses and activate my intuition. It’s my way to get ready for the day and how I set my intention for happiness.

With each footstep forward, my inner voice was calling me for something very specific. I had a need which was not met during the lockdown. I was craving connection and not just electronic! I needed to see, touch and listen to friends in person (rather than online). I needed a mate date.

I have fantastic friends, and spending time with them is like sunshine therapy. I always leave their presence as a full vessel.

So the very minute restrictions were lifted for social distancing this week, we began the appointment tennis match of when we were all available. Sometimes this can drag as we wade through diary clashes. This time it merely amped the excitement of our imminent gathering.

Excitement is really an injustice, and the word divine comes to mind as we all gathered at a friend’s house. We had previously agreed to walk and take advantage of the current glorious autumn weather, and grab a bite to eat from a local cafe.

We love supporting our favourite local businesses. Being biz owners ourselves, it’s vital to honour and respect the effort that your locals are making to continue providing you with a beautiful heartfelt service during these unprecedented times.

Making note of the constant jibber-jabber and snoopy singers (because we were in public and raucous laughter always attract undue attention), we collected our food order and found a nearby picnic table. And this is where the magic happened.

We were bathed in sunshine as we sat and ate a simple meal.

We had beautiful fresh food in front of us, and yet it felt like a meal fit for royalty.

The smell of perfectly brewed beans combined with fresh air and freedom. And instead of rushing into conversation bursts, we all collectively sighed with smiles on our faces.

Together at last. The gathering had formed, and the reconnection had been made. Sometimes words are not required, and the pause is just as enjoyable as the noise.

It was almost post-orgasmic in pleasure, just sitting in the same physical space as my girls, bathed in sunbeams from above, and love beams amongst us.

Bliss is the word that comes to mind. How is it that a simple picnic can uplift one’s spirits so greatly? It wasn’t the chew or the brew, but it was definitely the crew I was with!

And then the usual round the table routine commenced, taking it in turns to update the others began. Love was shared with words. Loved was shared with heartfelt eye contact. Love was shared with smiles and raucous laughter, and more snoopy sniggers when the conversation turned to something naughty.

It could have been pouring rain outside that day, but the love shared amongst friends, in simple connection over a takeaway sandwich and coffee was better than watching a sunrise. That day we made our own sunshine and for that I am grateful.

Let Your Autumn Leaves Fall

Let Your Autumn Leaves Fall

This is the season to get ‘bare’ and heal.

Favourite time of year

Autumn would have to be my favourite time of year on so many levels. The nights are cool so you can sleep. The days have glorious warm sunshine which doesn’t burn you or cause you to sweat to the point of chaffing!!

Energetically, autumn is the time of year we acknowledge the abundance of summer. The peak of sunshine and solstice has passed. We can celebrate the goals kicked and reflect on those that missed the posts and didn’t score.

Autumn should be when we slow down and progress towards our hibernation period of winter. As we lose external daylight we are energetically forced to find the light within. This is a normal part of our transitional process for our evolution.

I don’t know about you, but I reflect on my NYE intentions during this season. I review my goals and ask myself whether they are still relevant, and if they are, I question myself whether I am on track. I do this from a place of non-judgement.

It’s like a self-audit. You can pick and choose the feelings, thoughts and actions, and make any required modifications to your life.

It’s ok to not be in a space where you expected. Life is meant to be fluid and filled with unexpected change as we walk our journey path.

It is in this reflective space that you can be kind to self and explore any opportunities that have arisen along your path. You can embrace cross roads, instead of being fearful of them.

Just like the leaves on the deciduous trees which constantly change, we are entering the energetic phase of baring our branches (our patterns and beliefs and dreams). The falling of the leaves allows us to become vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to be exposed for this is where you find your raw truth — your hidden treasure of innate wisdom.

Before the equinox descends upon us, be gentle with self. It’s like filling up your love account for self. The more happiness deposits you can make, the larger your capacity for more love.

Set your intention to be open to all possibilities which allow you to be happy. I find simply setting my intention for being open to experiences of joy each day, invites the unexpected into my life. I am constantly surprised at my capacity to love when I set simple intentions, rather than planning out life to the last minute.

Set your intention which allows you to be connected to self and your inner harmony and peace of mind.

Set your intention for ‘easy’, so that you can always be open to the fork in the road and connecting to your intuition and innate knowing.

Just keep breathing, watching the tree colours change each time you are outside and walk. Allow nature to trigger your imagination and the universe to surprise you with wonder.

Be like the tree and allow your change process to evolve.

Here are some steps to support your pruning phase this autumn.

Sharpen the shears

You have to be prepared to cut out the deadwood. Journalling is a fabulous activity for this. Writing out all the arising feelings as you sit quietly and explore, reflect, and goal setting is an extremely liberating and purging gift to self.

Rake up the fallen leaves

Collect your thoughts and feelings through journaling and meditation. It’s important that when the feelings arise into consciousness, you don’t dwell on them. Use the breath to acknowledge and gently release that which no longer serves your higher purpose.

Mulch the tree roots

Fuelling your body with sufficient nutrition and water is essential in your change process. A healthy gut promotes your brain to work better and be more readily adaptable in this stressful world.

Fertilize the soil

When I first typed this I wrote fertilize the soul. By this I mean to be selfish and meet your needs.

Self-care is vital with any change process. For some, this may include a relaxing bath each night. Perhaps a walk in nature. Cuddle the pets or kids can reinforce your physical connection to others. Massage is another ripper activity for the self-care tool kit.

As always be sure to get good sleep to rest the body and the mind.

Summary

In summary, allow yourself to align to the seasonal change. Surrendering to the energetic shifts aligns you to your unique path and the steps you are about to take. Surrendering to your leaves falling and your branches becoming bare will prepare you for your upcoming winter hibernation.

 

Ode To The Mother

Ode To The Mother

I have been asked all week what I will be doing for ‘Mother’s day’? And I responded to everyone with the same response, “what I do every day!!!!

I celebrate how bloody lucky I am!

For me, the special and poignant times have including carrying a pregnancy to almost full term, after having so many failed and miscarried experiences. I was lucky.

It was beautiful giving birth and that first year of breastfeeding with little sleep. I absolutely celebrate that I had a birthing experience, unlike others who are whisked away to theatre for an emergency caesar. It was magical when my girl was placed on my hot sweaty chest for the first time. Nothing compares.

I cherished all those exhausting moments and lost hours of sleep as something I was able to achieve rather than survive. The first steps. The first words. The evolution of my girl walking and then running, away from me squealing with delight, but always returning to my arms. The hugs are always special, and again I feel lucky.

I’m so lucky compared to others who aren’t privileged enough to hold a live baby. My heart goes to those women who are unable to feel life growing inside them. Or worse have felt that movement, and then it stopped and they birthed an endless sleeping baby. Doesn’t make them any less a mumma in my eyes.

It was heartbreaking having to work and send my girl to daycare but this experience enabled me to embrace the concept of allowing a tribe to raise and care for my girl.

Ever since I can remember my girl has gone with me wherever I have gone. It wasn’t unusual to see us at a goddess gathering, with me participating in a healing circle and my girl curled up on a meditation cushion with her colouring book.

Even a decade later the colouring is more mature and my friends all still huddle around the lunch table colouring with her and exchanging beautiful heart-warming dialogue. She is an amazing soul and just fits in. Again I pinch myself for being so lucky.

Age is no barrier as all my close girlfriends co-share the raising of my child. She has all their numbers on her phone and she has reached out to them in times of need when I was having treatment. For that, I feel so lucky that she trusts my wisdom in who I have introduced into her life as role models.

In sharing the joy of parenting this precious person, I too am gifted with a deepening of these relationships with strong grounded women. They aren’t just friends. They each fulfil a mother and sister like qualities in our relationships. We nurture each other. There is love. There are hugs. There are laughter and tears alike. Again I pinch myself for my luck.

I had tears of pride when my girl received an award last year at school, even though she has a learning challenge she worked her butt off. And so all those months we spent researching and investigating schools has paid off as they also nurture my child in a mother like way. The school is an extension of my circle of trust for my child.

I melt every time she hugs me and I am grateful even with homeschooling when she screeches out “mum I need help“, for I know it won’t be long until she doesn’t need me on a daily basis anymore.

I am grateful for the highs because they far outweigh the lows. She infuses the colour into my life that I never thought imaginable.

It’s days like today that my girl and I will get out one of my departed mum’s recipes and tell Nanny stories. My mum has been gone from the physical plane for over five years now, but we still are connected to her loving presence through photos and quilts, and stories of love.

There may be tears but they always have joy imbedded. You see today is my first mothers day on the other side of my breast cancer diagnosis and treatment.

I simply feel lucky to be here. I feel lucky to feel as strong and vibrant as I am right now when others aren’t.

I am so grateful and take nothing for granted. Every day I can be a parent is a rich gift.

My wish for all mums today, whether you birthed a live child or a sleeping angel, is that your heart expands so greatly with all these memories that it forces your mouth up into an enormous smile that lasts all day.

My wish is you too, belong to a tribe whereby you are nurtured as you mother your children, nieces and nephews, cousins and friends kids.

My wish for you today is you are connected to your heart space and have experienced unconditional love.

Happy mothers day from me to you.