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What now?

What now?

by | Jun 27, 2018 | Personal

So, the Winter Solstice has been and gone. That shortest day of the year seems to bring people undone in a myriad of ways. Low energy. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Invested in the drama of others. Fed up. Unmotivated. Does this sound like you?

It’s ok you know, it’s been a ripper shift this year due to the numerological significance of this year beginning a new nine-year cycle. For some it can feel like all of our old stuff has come to the surface and BAM suddenly we’re faced with a truckload of stuff.

You know what? I think that’s great. I am a fan of digging deep and shifting our stuff, as opposed to wallowing in the negativity of my old patterns and habits. I would always prefer to get in, acknowledge, shift, and release and step out of the gunk – as quickly as possible to learn the lesson.

As a practitioner, I am not into fluffing around on the surface. I support you to dig deep into the old pattern, so you gain awareness and opportunities to change. Sometimes we don’t allow ourselves to shift or experience opportunities of awareness because it hurts. It can be painful and difficult. It can feel heavy and draining. Generally speaking, no one actively chooses the hard way – or do they?

Sometimes our best opportunity for growth is when we are under the pump, stuck at a T-intersection and forced to make a choice. Sometimes our journey path events stop us in our tracks. We have to give way to something. Sometimes we have to make a choice to change.

Sometimes the bottom of that perceived deep dark hole, the uncomfortable space you’re in, is the perfect space for active change.

That horrible space of stuck, and what feels like no choice or possible actions. It’s sometimes the only place where your choice is to look up, and see the light from that deep dark place, and question yourself with the following question –

“Do I stay the same? Or do I put my big girl pants on, suck it up, and gulp, give “change” a go?”

I have a profound understanding of that dark place. I get the turmoil that one feels when in this place. I understand the conflict caused by the logic mind wanting to change, but the feelings centre being unmotivated to change.  I completely get the turmoil of the mind wanting to change and feel well, and the feelings smothered by overwhelming thoughts most of which are often commonly negative and self sabotaging.

My journey has included ten years of active Crohns disease with ulcerative colitis, paired with endometriosis. My internal world was a mess and if I am going to be honest with you, a reflection of my lack of love for self and the consequential head space that it created. It was an internal reflection of an incredible amount of stress. Reflection of that time in my life is not one I am comfortable with, but it is a chapter in my book of life which I accept. I look back upon that time in my life and I’m definitely grateful for the opportunity to be in charge of my own change process.

Looking back, one of the gifts that these health challenges gave me was this – I understand and appreciate the depth of my strength and resilience and willingness to live, not just exist. I listen to my body and whilst I push against my boundaries I do not cross my limits. I now listen, a lot. I now consider my body a sacred temple and it gets cared for.

I’ll quote Harry Massey in his book, “Choice Point – Align Your Purpose”…

“change is possible, and it starts with each of us in our hearts and minds”

I honestly believe, based on my own life experiences and training, that ‘choosing to change‘, is half the battle of realigning our health and wellbeing. This belief and understanding is based on the premises, that when we resonate our lives in love our frequencies are positive. We have the opportunity to be grateful and our lives are abundant because the universe reflects back to us what we show the world our love for self.

love for self = your light shines brightly

Those who know me, understand that I will check in with my heart space, my ‘feel goods’ (that good juju) and where possible where any arising negativity arises within me I address it. Because knowledge is power. If I can gain an awareness of why something doesn’t align within me, I can accept the issue (misalignment), own that negative emotional reaction. I can utilise kinesiology, wellness coaching, journaling, meditation, or even use eft tapping to defuse the emotion and where possible identify the source. Where possible I can relate that emotion to an event or pattern.  This is the “aha moment”, when you get to own your stuff. The trick though is you must be open enough consciously to first see your own stuff!

When you first start having AHA moments it often feels like a snow shovel at the back of the head when that hits you. It’s not pleasant, but neither is standing in a fresh pile of large dog poo! Ewwwww.

The other thing to remember, is that it’s often easier to see the negative stuff in others, because you have no emotional attachment to it. It might push your buttons and triggers, but this is a subtle way of the universe giving you a signal that some of the stuff in the other person that upsets you, is in you too.

What if I told you that you can avoid the dog poo scenario? Got your attention yet? What if I told you that you don’t have to play shit sandwich tennis with toxic people? Are you sitting up in your chair? What if I told you change is possible using tools like those spoken about in Law Of Attraction?

What if I told you it starts with a choice point of deciding you want to change. It’s that simple and yet so far reachingly powerful.

“The big change we have to make is a shift from our love of power to embracing the power of love.” Harry Massey

Everyone can identify with hitting a cross roads in their life. Being a wellness and business coach has certainly taught me that and I support both clinical and corporate clients to change their mindset on this. A cross roads does not have to be a bad thing. You can use this as an opportunity to reboot. To utilise the resources within your shadow self that you haven’t yet shone light on.

A cross road is simply a choice point. A challenge is merely a speed hump you haven’t applied the solution to.  Do you continue the same life, same attitudes, same behaviours and patterns. OR do you choose a different path? You get to choose you.

Here’s my 5 top tips for starting the process and supporting yourself to choose you!

1.  Decide on one aspect of life that you would like to change

This might include identifying something in life where you are unhappy or uncomfortable.  You don’t necessarily need to know how to make the changes, you simply have to decide that change is what you want. You might choose what blocks your happiness, or even what makes you sad and depressed? Or go nuts and ask yourself  “why aren’t I grateful?”

Feel a little stuck on that? I invite you to read my blog from NYE intention setting (NYE blog and Goal Setting).

2.  Be gentle with yourself

You have spent a life time creating the habits you presently have. There is no magic wand to make your stuff disappear. Just like you built your patterns over time, so too will the unwinding process as you become more consciously aware of what it is you built. So be gentle as you explore the layers and the weaving of your stuff. It’s ok. We all have stuff to be explored.

Remember not all of our patterns are negative. The triggers may be very subtle or miniscule even, but that can be enough to bring us undone. So, before you fall fetal on the floor with self sabotage or remorse, be kind to yourself and take an opportunity to explore what is the actual lesson you are learning? The process starts with a simple acknowledgment of what is it you are feeling?

The more you acknowledge, the easier it gets.

3.  Have an open mind

You never know when the universe will gift you with an opportunity to see more of the pattern you want to change. You’ll be gifted with scenarios and people specifically designed to help you consciously connect with your feelings. Because you have chosen to change the path might be new, therefore old ways of thinking, doing and believing may go out the window and you might have to ‘go with it’.

4.  Journal out the negative crap from your head

The monkey chatter inside your head is not real. It’s just a storage of your perception (or misperception if you will) of what is happening in the outside world based on a combination of your conscious and genetic behaviour coding. The noisier the monkey chatter, the stronger the ‘mental habit’ of not resolving an emotional upset. Did you know you literally consume your physical energy to run these mental patterns?

5.  Each day is a do-over

Allow each day to be new, rather than allowing stuff from yesterday to fester in your thoughts. The gift of a new day is that you get to try your best – again. The more you practice your perfection, the more opportunities you are granting yourself to be grateful for the good juju in your life.

There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging a bad day, and then leaving it there where it belongs – in the past. Keep moving forward with your mindset.

6.  Concentrate on today, not about tomorrow

For tomorrow never ever comes, because you are missing the NOW opportunities. When we place our focus on right now time stands still. You aren’t in the past, nor are you in the future. You are in that time continuum of right now. Often when in this space, the mind is clear, the heart space is open to receiving love, you are connected to self and receiving messages.

When operating in the now, you are maximising your opportunities to be grateful. The more gratitude we connect with, the more we can increase our ability to manifest abundance in our lives.

7.  Believe you are not alone in this process. Everyone has stuff

But your stuff and patterns are unique to you. So, no one can truly understand your stuff. You have to walk your path not that of another. Remember if you feel yourself getting caught up in the drama of others, you are no longer actively working on you. You are investing your mental energy into problem solving the stuff of others.

Support others by loving them, but allow them the gift of working through their stuff on their own.

8.  Seek support when you struggle

It’s ok to ask for support.  All drivers can utilise the benefit of navigator or map reader from time to time. You service the car to ensure it runs, consider servicing your body with good nutrition, hydration, massage, meditation, talking therapies or even kinesiology and wellness coaching.

 

My wish for you, as you walk your journey path, is that you can bloom from within – just by choosing to change xxx

What I Discovered When I Get Quiet?

What I Discovered When I Get Quiet?

by | Jun 18, 2018 | Self Development

I recently had a nature immersion. That sounds so much sexier than “I took a holiday to New Zealand!”

Before departing I set my intention to travel in sunshine.  I utilised my daily meditation time and literally envisaged sunshine where ever we travelled. In my daily meditation I literally pictured how warm the sun would feel on my face as I looked skyward, I imagined the warmth I would feel on my back as I walked and explored new places.

And guess what? That’s exactly what I got. Sunshine lollypops everywhere. And I was so grateful for all the experiences I received, because, the sun shined. Out of the twenty-two days travelling, we had twenty days of radiance shining down on us.

This holiday was a unique experience for me. Not only was I travelling with family, who know exactly how to push my buttons, but we were traveling with a retired couple of active seniors. The whole factor of can we live in confined quarters for nearly a month was a point of curiosity.  You see I am so close with these people that I introduce them as my other mother and father. They are my friends, and I value their senior presence in my life. I respect their wisdom and values. That said there was still the unknown aspect that we haven’t ‘lived’ together.

What none of us expected that our twenty-year relationship blossomed to a whole new place which reaffirmed the true destiny of our original encounter. The age old saying that you meet people for a reason, a season or a life time rang true.  This active senior couple are in our lives for the long run. So so blessed.

Before we left for our holiday, I did random internet searches of ‘things to do for families’ and ‘world heritage’. I made a rough list of things to do and places to see that were different from what I have at home. Guess what? It forced me out of my comfort zone. I saw a war canoe and as I touched the hand carvings along the external side of that boat I was able to imagine how overwhelming, if not intimidating, it would have been watching over 50 tribal men paddling towards the white settlers.

It was almost out of body, being transported back in time. I was grateful for the tour guides narration and factual summary of settlement events. I was saddened to hear that Maori culture and tribal nations have had to fight so hard for land rights. Some things never change, regardless of which country we live in. This shows me that regardless of our culture and politics and history, on some level we are all similar. We all have stuff.

Some places we visited we by accident. We got lost! And it was the absolute best kind of discovery. A quiet tranquil place here, where there was no one else, except for a sea eagle dive bombing fish out of the body of water and taking its bounty back to its nest.

Again, regardless of species we all have a never-ending list of things to do in our daily lives… we all gotta eat and feed our families. It’s a simple concept that we all understand.  But to observe it energetically in terms of circle of life, well I have to say it made me feel so many things all at once. As a part of the ecosystem I was insignificant in terms of the food chain. In terms of having experiences, that’s not something you see every day and it was humbling, beautiful even. I’m still left wondering how on earth a bird that big gets and remains airborne! We travelled with a retired vet so he explained it all, but I still scratch my head with wonder.

We got lost, a lot. In fact, we ditched the map on numerous occasions because we experienced so much in our mystery travels. It proved to me, that timing is divine for you to see wondrous things. But when it comes to implementing new things in your life there is no perfect time other than when you have the courage to give it a go. Then you have the experience you need, not necessarily what you want.

We discovered an abandoned black beach which was being inundated by seam foam! If it hadn’t been so cold and windy I literally would have rolled around taking more photos of the glacial pebbles poking out of the sand! Those glacial pebbles had a right to be on that beach just like I did. Their purpose, just like mine was unknown. I did enjoy studying the shadow they cast as the sun set.

And when you turned around to walk back to the car you were confronted with more snow capped fiord land mountains. I literally ran out of wow words taking in that landscape. As the sun turned orange and reflected off the snow onto the still estuary waters. I felt so privileged to be in that ‘lost’ destination, watching the sun set. Timing was everything to receive that sunset gift.

And then there was my trip to the world heritage listed Milford Sound. One of my favourite places was Mirror Lake, whereby the water literally reflected the fiordland snow caps above and ancient trees. This was the magical space of true emergence and transition of my awareness of what makes us tick. It has taken several weeks of subsequent reflection to understand the true depth of what new knowledge I gained. And it could be intrepreted as easily as this.

We have a shadow, hidden beneath the snowline of the mountain that we are in our life. The snow melts and exposes our truth to the radiance of the sun and life and all of its possibilities. As the snow melts, the ground below the snow line thaws and receives melt water runoff, nurturing the foliage. As the flow continues, the growth of the forest below the snow evolves to a new level. So, this space then becomes covered by a new and thicker tree canopy. I found that this reflects our resilience for what is coming to our life ih the future.

And then the strength of the sun expires, and it gets cold and snows again, the abundance of standing in the summer sun recedes beneath a new layer of snow. A new challenge brought by life. The survival of the mountain relies on the strength and depth of the roots of the forest below to prevent erosion at the foundation of where the mountain stands.

So, you see the awareness I gained is that our shadow self holds our hidden treasure.  Our connection to the cyclic forces of nature.

Our shadow self contains treasures relating to our resilience, our strength, and weaknesses. Remember knowledge is power so this is just a mindset, that a weakness is bad. I would argue that our weaknesses are just under developed strengths awaiting to be embrace when required by life’s calling.

So, you see this recent trip really was a time of spiritual maintenance and probably one of my best holidays yet. Give some thought for your next trip on how you might connect with yourself on a deeper level when you escape the busyness that the world seems to throw us in!

In my discussions upon returning, I’ve realised that people are interested in what I learnt. So, here’s my tips for exploring yourself further when you gift yourself some time out.

1. Give yourself quiet time each day, reflecting on what you’ve seen or done

Time out helps that busyness inside our heads slow down. When we take time out, we get to reflect. Was your experience(s) joyous? How can you lock that experience into your happiness memory bank?

2. Appreciate that what you’re seeing isn’t something you can do every day, and that this experience is a gift

As a sole practitioner, my ability to take regular time out of business is limited now. So, when I do get to explore, I make the most of every experience.

3. Take lots of pictures of what moves you, then you’ll have memories of the joy you have experienced

So, laugh with me or at me, but between all of us we now have to sort through six thousand photos! That’s mental right? But here’s the thing. I’ve already used these photos in my electronic photo album so every time we sit as a family, we’re re-living the positive memories.

I’ve used some of those photos in this blog and on my business content, as an affirmation of the good juju I experienced. I’ve shared some of them on social media sites and the positive dialogue I’ve had with clients has been incredibly joyous.

Every time I see those pictures I am reminded of the joy experienced. I am reminded that it was worth working hard and saving all that time to have that experience. I am motivated for more new experiences!

4. Challenge yourself to see and do things out of your comfort zone

I tried beef wellington for the first time and found I loved it! My daughter doesn’t like heights, but she still chose to ride the Queenstown gondola. My husband doesn’t like being a passenger and let me drive – twice! They are only small things. But the sense of achievement when trying something new can be exhilarating.

5. Appreciate the differences of the new travelling adventure-culture, topography, foliage, food, language

Given that I am a change facilitator, I value new experiences and change in scenery! I relish taking advantage of opportunities to note how the differences make me feel and where my comfort zone lies. Our next family trip we are contemplating a non english speaking country which ramps up the game to a whole new level!

6. Appreciate those around you and the time you spend together

Whilst you live with your family, the busyness of life sometimes that means you don’t spend a lot of quality time together. So, as you begin travelling, you re-affirm your loving connection. The pace isn’t rushed with the need to attend some after school activity. It’s simply let’s stop here for cake!

7. Appreciate access to technology and the ability to communicate with loved ones no matter where you are!

Whilst we can curse technology and our addiction to it, it is lovely to reach out for quick video chats and tell family and friends you love them, share adventures and pictures. No longer do you have to wait for the traveller to finish their voyage or the post cards to arrive!

8. Write post cards for family and friends

It’s a lovely tradition to pick postcards of amazing views, check out the stamps, and write highlights of the adventure.  But the true joy is in receiving something that’s not a bill and filled with good news, in the mail.

Hope you enjoy my snap shots as much as I enjoyed taking them! You can choose to change and bloom from within xxx

12 Top Tips for The Entrepreneurs Escape!

12 Top Tips for The Entrepreneurs Escape!

by | Jun 7, 2018 | Business

So, I finally went on a break from the hustle of every day life and busy routine. What happened? Creativity struck as I walked through the oldest kauri forest in New Zealand! Ideas for this and that came flooding in, and it was almost overwhelming.  I was meant to be having a break from all that right? I mean I literally added 20 hours that final week before I departed, getting everything ready, so I could step out of my business – it was exhausting!

I am used to getting up early, so whilst my family is in bed I’ve gotten up and watched the sun come up. Normally I do this from my clinic office as I do paperwork. Whilst I was away, I walked along the beach instead in Paihia, New Zealand. I know which one I would rather do on a permanent basis! So, I took a bunch of photos for my clinic wall, so I can take those precious glimpses with me.

It got me thinking. We can’t always jump on a plane and escape our routine life. But when we do, there’s things we can be proactive about to enable us to step out of running our business and regenerate our energy levels. Here’s my top tips!

 

1. Set an auto response on your email

Every email products and most social media forums have an ‘out of office’ response which can be set to advise all incoming mail recipients of your absence. We all take holidays, and it’s a great opportunity to continue to communicate with your audience, even though you’re not there! This function allows you to set your return date and include a customised message.

2. Change your mobile phone message

Just like your email, when customers and members of network contact you, it’s also great customer service to have a modified message on your phone. This message can advise that you’re presently not available, and, can include your return date. Your message can also direct people to your web page or other social media forums if required, for example “to book an appointment online go to my web page”!

You don’t have to miss out on prospective sales, just because you aren’t able to answer your phone.

3. Pack light

Unless you are backpacking, the accommodation you’re going to, generally has everything you need in terms of basics. Towels and basic item toiletries are provided, so leave your good stuff at home. It adds unnecessary weight to your luggage and tends to explode in your suitcase – creating another job for when you arrive.

I have recently travelled with active seniors who are avid campers and together we ‘recycled’ clothes or pooled washing.  Their luggage was manageable and light, ours by comparison was not! It was a metaphorical lesson which made me look at what other ‘baggage’ I could let go of, or didn’t need.

4. Don’t look in the mirror

Because you didn’t pack your favourite hair conditioner and have just used the hotel’s conditioning shampoo and conditioner, when you dry your hair YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK DIFFERENT!!! And it wont be a look you generally go for!! So brush, tie back, put on deodorant and enjoy the day ahead. Besides you already know what you look like, do you really need to reaffirm it? When on holidays, appearances aren’t everything. Grooming and personal hygiene is optional, but preferred if traveling with others!

5. Hug a tree

Walking through a forest can be a delightful overwhelm to the senses! To start with there’s no white background noise.  Don’t get me wrong, it can be noisy, but of the nature kind. Even something as simple as wind in the trees causing the leaves to rustle can be noisy. But I find it soothing and reassuring.

Secondly, the smell of the forest is lovely. Fresh. Organic.  Real, no synthetic scents within the immediate vicinity. My senses were lovingly overwhelmed and distracted and I felt a deep connective sense of inner peace. Not once did I think of checking my emails, but rather how to capture the radiant sunlight shinning through the tree canopy.

If the forest isn’t your cup of tea, then perhaps the beach is? Allow nature to overwhelm your senses and distract yourself from the busy daily routine. You’ll be surprised how quickly you can immerse yourself in nature and distract that busy entrepreneur mind to relax and let go a little.

6. Ask for a tour guide

When we visited the oldest kauri tree, we asked for a tour guide. We were fortunate enough to have an enthusiastic young indigenous man who was filled with both pride for his culture as well as strong botany factual knowledge. Being a qualified environmental scientist, I found our discussion both engaging and stimulating.  Before I knew it half an hour had passed, and I hadn’t thought about business once.

Having access to the guide provided us with details that were not available on sign boards. Having previously worked for an environmental protection agency, I was able to converse of the legislative controls and politics involved with protecting such magnificence. The research data alone that warrants creation of legislative control is incredible.

A guide provides you the opportunity to fully immerse yourself into an experience without overtaxing your time or budget. You also gain stories you may not otherwise experience if just reading tourism boards.

7. Pack board games for the trip

We travelled with active seniors who instigated an electronic device free time period each day. My daughter completed homework, I read or walked. We even have played board and trivia games. During this time, I didn’t miss the social media newsfeed highlights once – I was far too busy!!!

I will admit to doing a little social media here and there. But it wasn’t daily, and that was refreshing as it was a break from the normal grinding routine.

8. Step out of your comfort zone

Sometimes, especially when in a new place, you have to take advantage of the ability to try new things. Whether it be hiking to a waterfall, watching the sun rise or set, or going zip lining. When our senior friend joked about wanting to go zip lining and asked whether I would go I laughed and said “sure”. She jumped up and down with glee and was delighted she finally had someone to go with her!

Once we hit Queenstown I was almost relieved that it was offseason and the zip line was closed. So we took a trip on the gondola instead and walked back down the mountain.  Same same but different!

9. Quote of the day

Part of our recent trip, my daughter had to keep a travel journal for her school studies. We included pictures of our travels.  For her maths homework she calculated distances travelled each day and the time taken for each leg of the trip. We also discussed fuel consumed and it’s associated price, as well as budgeting for various activities.

The highlight of these journal entries included documenting ‘quote of the day’. There was no shortage of frivolity or laughter both during the event or re-telling the story. Now that we are back and sorting through 1,000s of photos, my daughter’s story book is turning into a wonderful adventure to share with family and friends.

Quote of the day also enabled me to focus on being present. This focus brought me into ‘now’, rather than my ever evolving ‘to do list’. It is proving to be a new thing we will have in our household. I’ve realised you can’t put a price on the health benefits of laughter and shared some of the funnier stories in my private coaching tribe – #changetribe.

10. Technology addiction

I surprised myself with my avoidance of my phone, which is always on during business hours, checked and clients responded to. However, I have a new-found awareness that I enjoy scrolling through my news feed looking for updates from friends and family, or sharing pictures via messenger. I’ve also enjoyed capturing pics via Instagram.

It was refreshing to unplug and simply focus on me. Focus on my family. Focus on the adventure.

Who would have thought this technotard would embrace technology and social media so much? But when internet became patchy, or worse my international roaming didn’t work I found myself relieved. There has to be a balance somehow of immersing oneself into the trip, versus sharing the stories every minute of it.

11. Plan ahead and where possible automate or schedule

Prior to leaving for this latest trip I created and scheduled over 150 social media posts. The automation feature on Facebook for business pages was a godsend. You can also schedule posts from colleagues pages in order to vary up your content. I didn’t post anything random, it was all part of my strategic communication plan. Prior to leaving, I just knuckled down to ensure that from the outside looking in, my clients wouldn’t feel abandoned at my various sites. I still had a presence in a space I’ve worked hard to create.

12. Sew the seed of the next place you want to visit before this adventure ends

My family and traveling friends migrated throughout New Zealand so successfully over three weeks and 3,500 kms that we are now planning our next trip. This process started the day before we were due to return home. We spoke of our bucket list of destinations and why they were important. Openly acknowledging these dreams enables us to have clear communication about how we make this a reality. It helps us to goal orientate. It certainly helps me to return to clinic being grounded and centred, focused and balanced for both you my clients, but also for me.

Perhaps Paris in spring may be the next destination?

So my fellow entrepreneur, wishing you all the very best in planning and taking your next break from your business. May your experiences enrich your creative spirit and you return to your business with renewed enthusiasm!